Penge
The ache in a man's tescticles when they become mildly injured.
"Keith's walking funny cos he's got a bit of Penge from when he sat down too quickly last night."
(GonkHerder, Tue 6 Nov 2018, 11:32, Reply)

Strubby
Naturally hostile towards any Strictly contestant who used to be in a highly-choreographed boyband/girl group because for fuck's sake, you might as well have Delia Smith on Celebrity Masterchef.
(costas, Sat 27 Oct 2018, 20:12, Reply)

Tarbet
The elderly relative or family friend at any social gathering who, on discovering that you "work with computers" (which can mean anything from running Google to operating a microwave), corners you for two hours with questions about why they can't pause Midsomer Murders but Elsie next door can.
(costas, Sat 27 Oct 2018, 15:14, Reply)

Milton Keynes
Brother of John Maynard Keynes and originator of the Trickle Down theory. By extension any victim of the economic disparity resulting from Reaganomics is 'Waiting for his Milton Keynes to come in'.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Fri 21 Sep 2018, 1:59, Reply)

Shepton Mallet
Any small child that, distracted, runs into you and head-butts you in the groin. (Orig: livestock with a propensity for butting at a particularly inconvenient height).
"Bloody kids at that barbecue - one hit me like a proper Shepton mallet".
( joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Thu 20 Sep 2018, 14:32, Reply)

wetwang!
just before you wipe it on the curtains!!!
( skullbuggery uh huh! kissed a cow!, Wed 19 Sep 2018, 8:18, Reply)

Bubbenhall
How you introduce your southern American family.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 14 Sep 2018, 16:27, Reply)

Birdlip.
One half of the labia minora.
(Tugnut I got them all..., Fri 18 May 2018, 14:59, Reply)

Bamfurlong.
The ideal amount of distance between your house and the recently moved-in, ginger-headed Scots family.
(Tugnut I got them all..., Fri 18 May 2018, 14:57, Reply)

Painswick
The entirely superfluous field on a webpage, dedicated to the re-confirmation of an email address.
(Wanksock Crusty. Musty. Trusty, Sat 12 May 2018, 9:10, Reply)

Caxton Gibbet
The little remaining charge on a phone with depleted battery.

"Can I use your phone? I'm down to my caxton gibbet."
(LovableJim, Wed 9 May 2018, 14:34, 1 reply)

Ely
adj. Of a Facebook friend you barely know, aged 20 to 30 years above you, who writes mildly disconcerting comments on pictures of your friends.
(LovableJim, Wed 9 May 2018, 14:18, 1 reply)

Chatteris
Ringing in the ears caused by incessant late-night notifications from a WhatsApp group you're only half interested in.
(LovableJim, Wed 9 May 2018, 14:16, Reply)

Barton Stacey
The name of a 1930s private detective played by Captain Picard in one of his holodeck LARPing adventures.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 7 May 2018, 23:37, Reply)

Porthmadog
Canine lodging when undertaking a sea voyage.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Mon 7 May 2018, 21:37, Reply)

Wrexham
What happens to a cats nipsy when you insert a lit banger.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Mon 7 May 2018, 21:27, Reply)

Grimsby
The anxiety/determination felt the second time when a large important download on a slow connection reaches a single percentage further than the previous attempt but starts to slow and then aborts, forcing you to restart from the very beginning once again.
(Jyve, Mon 7 May 2018, 10:39, Reply)

Shieldfield
Where the antivirus software is kept
( naked_ravens A big hammer, WD40 & gaffer tape, Mon 7 May 2018, 9:36, Reply)

Bishops Stortford
An extremely complicated chess move
( naked_ravens A big hammer, WD40 & gaffer tape, Mon 7 May 2018, 9:26, Reply)

Keevil
Small insect that lives inside laptops and feeds on the skin flakes and toast crumbs that drop through the keyboard on a day-to-day basis.
( Spherix, Sun 6 May 2018, 10:00, Reply)

Macroom
The bit of PC World where they display the Apple products; it has thicker carpet, air freshener and nicer decor to make them feel more desirable.
( Spherix, Sun 6 May 2018, 9:51, Reply)

Bolingey
Neither snot nor bogey. Like extruding nylon.
( collapsibletank procreates, Sun 6 May 2018, 7:24, Reply)

Valley Truckle
The global multinational that owns all of the farm shops.
( collapsibletank procreates, Sun 6 May 2018, 7:22, Reply)

Dizzard
Minor concussion from cracking your head on a Waltzer.
( collapsibletank procreates, Sun 6 May 2018, 7:21, Reply)

Badworthy
A clickbait site that works by getting people's attention with depressing stories rather than uplifting ones.
( monkeon schmonkeon, Sun 6 May 2018, 7:02, Reply)

Badninish
To Google a tory MPs voting record and Scandals section on their Wikipedia page in order to prove to your parents that they should not vote for them.
( monkeon schmonkeon, Sun 6 May 2018, 6:55, Reply)

Hole's Hole
Someone has shared something by an awful twat to highlight what an awful twat that awful twat really is. You decide to read everything on that awful twat's timeline, and also the timelines of the awful twats that the awful twat has shared awful comments of. Welcome. You are stuck in Hole's Hole.
( monkeon schmonkeon, Sun 6 May 2018, 6:50, Reply)

Honiton
French for "You should be ashamed of yourself". 'Honi ton qui mal y pense.'
( collapsibletank procreates, Sat 5 May 2018, 22:44, Reply)

Christchurch
A church which is not a bar. cf Church.
( collapsibletank procreates, Sat 5 May 2018, 22:39, Reply)

Corfe
A parabolic vomit up the wall.
( collapsibletank procreates, Sat 5 May 2018, 22:39, Reply)