Thrush cream.
Christ, I have got about a fucking million of these. I used to work in a pharmacy. Many old people seem to see this and think "despite you clearly working here solely for beer money until you finally graduate and get a job where you no longer need to deal with the fucking public, i am going to share with you more than i should as you are vaguely connected to health professionals"

It's my usual sunday shift, im 17, and have a hangover of epic proportion. So in walks an older lady. Easily into her 60s. You know the type: the mouth like a cat's arse from years of smoking, the dyed hair, the make up that looks like it's been applied with a fucking tablespoon and the clothes 16 years out of date and 30 years too young. Nobody needs to see a cleavage like that. It was like somebody had managed to melt a leather sofa down her front. So she makes her way up to the pharmacy counter.

And so begins the inevitable flirting. I am so uncomfortable that my sphincter has tightened to the point you could probably press a diamond in it. I'll fast forward you through the grilling on my private life that this woman thought was clearly more important than whatever healthcare issue she came in with. Finally we get to the point:

woman: well it's a little embarrassing talking to a handsome young man like you about this, but i need something to treat a wee yeast infection i picked up
me: certainly madam, there are a number of options for you: we have oral medication, vaginal suppositories and creams

the thought of this woman cramming a suppository up her frothing, crusty axe-wound was awful in itself. Nothing prepared me for her response.

woman: Hmmm. I'll just take the oral stuff. The creams and whatnot are no good for me - when you get to my age, you'd just have to pick a wrinkle and go for it!

Gross. Just fucking gross.
(Rushy, Thu 6 Sep 2007, 20:08, Reply)