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Got a great tip? Share it with us. You know, stuff like "Prevent sneezing by pressing you index finger firmly between your nose and your upper lip."

(, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 16:33)
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Rid your pub of people under 35 by playing The Stone Roses debut album in full.
(, Sat 22 Dec 2018, 22:54, 2 replies, latest was 6 days ago)
Pretend you're getting oral sex off of a robot by rubbing your fanny with the back of a spoon.
(, Fri 21 Dec 2018, 19:05, Reply)
Take your time, young man.

(, Wed 19 Dec 2018, 14:02, 1 reply, 3 months ago)
Let everyone know you're a racist by starting a sentence "I'm not a racist, but..."

(, Fri 23 Nov 2018, 16:06, Reply)
Pacify sanctimonious types by living in a stone house and throwing glasses.

(, Fri 23 Nov 2018, 15:58, Reply)
Thick people
Correctly spell the word "weather" by writing the first part of the name of your favourite pub chain.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2018, 23:38, 3 replies, latest was 3 months ago)
Avoid daily mass-shootings by having a well-regulated militia.

(, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 0:47, Reply)
When enquiring about someone's health, show everyone what a twat you are by asking "How are we?"

(, Tue 23 Oct 2018, 21:19, Reply)
Guests coming round and you don't have a food processor?
Simply chew the food up and spit it into their bowls
(, Mon 22 Oct 2018, 5:02, Reply)
Entertain your pre-school children by giving them an iPad and let them play on it for 20 hours a day

(, Fri 12 Oct 2018, 13:15, Reply)
Make water more interesting
by adding booze and then taking all the water out.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2018, 13:07, Reply)
Use frozen stuffing balls to chill your Bloody Mary
As they thaw out, instead of making your drink all watery and shit, they'll impart a delicious herby flavour
(, Mon 17 Sep 2018, 10:14, Reply)
New parents! Save time on embroidering your child’s name...
...onto their PE kit when they reach school age by simply naming your offspring Adidas, Gola, or Le Coq Sportif.
(, Sun 16 Sep 2018, 14:46, Reply)
Avoid catching lethal diseases by killing yourself

(, Sun 9 Sep 2018, 17:11, Reply)
Confuse food critics and writers
by forming your own opinions on the food that you are eating, and not some pretentious cunt that reckons his tastebuds are better than yours.
(, Tue 4 Sep 2018, 19:52, Reply)
Magazine editors.
Make a few quid by suing websites that steal your feature ideas.
(, Sat 1 Sep 2018, 12:55, Reply)
Want to become a deity?
Then start performing miracles.
(, Sat 18 Aug 2018, 12:49, Reply)
Can't find the link for the /talk board? Simply go to the Main Board and click the search link.
The /talk link will then magically appear.
(, Tue 14 Aug 2018, 12:09, 2 replies, latest was 7 months ago)
Prevent premature ejaculation by not indulging in sexual activity

(, Fri 10 Aug 2018, 21:25, Reply)
Kids love seeing their names spelled out in Alphabetti Spaghetti.
But it's more expensive than Spaghetti Hoops. Keep the little buggers happy and save cash by naming them OOOOOOOOOOOOO.
(, Sat 4 Aug 2018, 14:24, Reply)
Llamas make ideal replacements for people who wish alpacas were a bit taller

(, Tue 31 Jul 2018, 20:43, 1 reply, 7 months ago)
Prevent communicable diseases by staying indoors.
On your own.
(, Sun 29 Jul 2018, 17:19, Reply)
Chillies go with everything - including trifles.

(, Sat 28 Jul 2018, 13:15, 1 reply, 1 week ago)
Avoid rain by staying indoors.

(, Sat 28 Jul 2018, 13:14, Reply)
Relieve feelings of thirst by drinking liquids.

(, Sat 28 Jul 2018, 13:13, Reply)
Sweetcorn kernels make ideal tooth replacements for chain smokers who've been fighting.

(, Thu 19 Jul 2018, 9:22, Reply)
Avoid the murder of 1000's of people by becoming the new US president.

(, Sun 13 May 2018, 17:28, Reply)
Don't slip down the stairs, it fucking hurts like hell.

(, Sun 13 May 2018, 17:25, Reply)
Affected by the sugar tax? Just buy sugar free drinks and add sugar to taste.

(, Wed 11 Apr 2018, 20:34, Reply)
Guys when you do a poo
hold on to your wee.

This will improve your pelvic floor which will help to stop you from becoming a dribbly old fuck that smells of piss when you are old

Then stand up and use your held in wee to 'jet wash' any poo tags you may have made
(, Thu 8 Mar 2018, 11:47, Reply)

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