Not funny, just fun
The best training course I ever went on was two years ago; the Basic Offshore Safety Induction and Emergency Training (BOSIET) and Helicopter Underwater Escape Training (HUET).

Best three-day course ever: escaping from pitch black smoke filled buildings, putting out fires, getting winched into (fake) helicopters, and escaping from a simulated crashed chopper in a swimming pool. Search youtube for HUET and you'll get the idea. Perhaps best not to do what I did and spend the evenings out on the piss before you get strapped into a seat that gets plunged underwater and turned upside down.

Best thing is, if I miss my one-day refresher before four years is up, I'll have to do the three-day course again!
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:27, 4 replies)

I did the dunker training too
and failed miserably.
Maybe because I have a (rational) fear of being trapped underwater combined with the fact that I lose all self confidence without my glasses, which I had to take off. Maybe it was because I was twenty minute behind my colleagues due to faffing up the short term air supply (STAS) training and the first time I got into the dunker was with the lights out and having to wait until I was tapped on the head to use the STAS. Maybe it was because I cocked up the STAS and initially got a mouth full of water and began to panic. Maybe it was because the Navy had just implemented the policy of encouraging participants to continue instead of the more traditional bullying shouting. Whatever.
I managed, with help, to egress the simulator, swim to the side and get out of the pool and I just told the guys that there was nothing on earth that would ever make me get back in that cylindrical colander. Ever.

Maybe I'm just a bit wimpy. I missed several helicopter based sea-trials because of that. Ho hum.
( P-MONKE We're all fucked, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:07, closed)

I did cock up the rebreather bit once
but it was ok as it wasn't on a complete rotation and dip.

It does make you want to never get on a helicopter though. Russian ones are the worst, I'm amazed they fly.
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:12, closed)

Was that up in Aberdeen?
I did that about twelve years ago when I was supposed to be going out to fit video camera servers to oilrigs. Never happened, but the course was pretty awesome.
(gordonjcp, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 18:42, closed)

I wanted to go to Warsash in Hampshire
but it was a last minute booking so I had to go to Norwich :(

I've used it a fair bit in the last two years, was offshore about eight times last year; once for about three hours. Got to love the expense for sending the helicopter just to pick up the guy with the clipboard and camera!
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 9:47, closed)