Whenever I feel a little trollish...
I go to the library, take some bibles, and put them in the fiction section. I sometimes stick around and wait for reactions, mainly laughs and "holy shit"s.
( Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 19 May 2011, 13:11, 9 replies)

.................

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 19 May 2011, 13:18, closed)

It's great sneering at other people's belief systems.
Only I know the truth - more people should think the way I do.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 May 2011, 16:11, closed)

I get bollocked for doing so sometimes, usually by self-appointed white knights.
Which gives me a lovely warm glow inside.
( Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 19 May 2011, 16:57, closed)

bollocked by white knights
and a lovely warm glow inside?
that will be the jizz then
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 19 May 2011, 21:42, closed)

Athe-jism.

( Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 19 May 2011, 22:13, closed)

Yes, it's great.
I like to laugh at imbeciles who believe a book more than their own senses and who, in some cases, choose to make their own lives harder as a result.
The especially funny ones either grab a great deal of money by preaching the fiction, then spend it on prostitutes [usually of the same sex], or kill themselves and others because they want to rape a lot of virgins [I suspect they think these are female].
Though the ones who go through life being about as moral, or not, as the next man yet feel guilty or have to pray all the time make me chuckle too.
I have no problem laughing at the self-deluding idiots who are, or claim to be, religious.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 19 May 2011, 18:19, closed)

Chill out. Have a biscuit.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 20 May 2011, 9:24, closed)

I was, and am, perfectly chilled out.
I was merely expressing my opinion.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 20 May 2011, 17:20, closed)

Trolls

Are you a troll? Ever been trolled? Ever pwn3d a troll with your 1337 intarnet sk1llz? Or do you live under a bridge and eat goats? Tell us your trolly stories, both from the web and from real life

Thanks to The Hedgehog From Hell for the suggestion

( Scaryduck - twitter.com/scaryduck, Thu 19 May 2011, 11:49) fdsr
Pages: Latest, 3, 2, 1

Tell Us Your Story »

Railtrack
Nothing to do with me, but top trolling nonetheless. Apologies if you've seen it before

After the collapse of Railtrack plc, someone registered Railtrack Ltd in Scotland, and responded to all the misaddressed post intended for the rail company.

www.fitlads.net/tmp/railtrack.pdf

For example:

Dear Sirs [Southern Electric],

SUPPLY TO:
RAILTRACK XT METER CABINET, UXBRIDGE ROAD, SOUTHALL, MIDDLESEX.
CUSTOMER ACCOUNT NO: 71996 18016
REFERENCE: TARA/CM007D

Thank you for your recent letter and we note that you say that if we don’t pay for electricity used, you may have to cut off the supply.

We do not require this supply and, as far as we are concerned, you may disconnect it.
( le brian a regargé un avion dans la ciel, Thu 19 May 2011, 22:03, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
This post's link to trolling may be so tenuous as to count as trolling itself, but...
...one time my sister got trolled by a dog.

Back in '06 I was on holiday in Spain with my husband and sister. One day we hit a beach. My sister was sitting in one area of the beach and we were a little ways away. A dog was free-ranging around the place, doing dog things like running in one direction and then another. I watched as he approached my sister. "She's not gonna like that," I thought - the dog was a muscular, barrel-shaped little guy and she's afraid of any dog that is even vaguely fighty-looking.

Well, she didn't like it. Not at all. Because the dog went right up to her, stopped, lifted his leg and marked his territory. The sequence was smooth, the execution flawless. LIKE HE HAD IT ALL PLANNED OUT.

I look back on this as one of the happiest moments of my life so far due to the comedy value of the situation and the joy I knew it would bring to others. "Hey, Rainbow Meow's sister, what did you do in Spain? Oh yeah, you got urinated on by a dog even though there were plenty of other people and objects nearby. You were the chosen one!"
( Rainbow Meow, Thu 19 May 2011, 21:43, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
I like
when Doctor Who teams up with the Romulans to battle the Cylons on Hoth.
(StapMyVitals, Thu 19 May 2011, 21:36, Ignore, 1 reply, 37 minutes ago, I like this!)
I like JarJar.

( Dr. Shambolic "buh" for "Bette Midler", Thu 19 May 2011, 21:31, Ignore, 2 replies, latest was 18 minutes ago, I like this!)
"With great power comes great responsibility."
Best Batman line ever.
(Bourbon Fox What doesn't kill me, puts me in intensive care, Thu 19 May 2011, 21:18, Ignore, 2 replies, latest was 38 minutes ago, I like this!)
all good fun til somone loses an eye
its because of all the trollers getting in each others space that we had the cod wars and we’re still no clearer about whether or not she exists.
( uzzardC4H5As, Thu 19 May 2011, 21:10, Ignore, 2 replies, latest was 55 minutes ago, I like this!)
I Troll
Therefore, I am.
(Galahad last night, Thu 19 May 2011, 21:02, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
Sometimes when I feel mischievous
I like to place a link for someone to follow that doesn't lead where they think it will at all, but instead to a YouTube video of Rick Astley's hit "Never Gonna Give You Up". It's hilarious, and most invigorating when people get annoyed at it.
(StapMyVitals, Thu 19 May 2011, 20:57, Ignore, 2 replies, latest was 7 minutes ago, I like this!)
Atheism as a faith.
I just LOVE winding up atheists by pointing out that atheism is, in fact, a faith. The existence or non-existence of a god cannot be proven- if it could, the debate would have been over thousands of years ago- so firmly maintaining that God does not exist is an act of faith.

(Stating that you don't believe he exists is perfectly valid, of course.)

I just love watching their heads spin.
( The Resident Loon haulin' glass down the interstate, Thu 19 May 2011, 20:41, Ignore, 27 replies, latest was 24 minutes ago, I like this!)
Not mine
but perhaps one of the two greatest IRC quotes from bash.org (the other one, of course, being the bitchchecker h4xx0r episode).

*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
[Abstruse] !kjv numbers 22:21
[Word_of_God] Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. - (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)
[Abstruse] I know I'm never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that...

FWIW I'm a Christian (of the woolly liberal CofE variety) and this still makes me laugh every time.
(ChaRleyTroniC is invincible with his chips and cheese, Thu 19 May 2011, 20:33, Ignore, 1 reply, 1 hour ago, I like this!)
Ken Clarke
That is some serious trolling.
(Galahad last night, Thu 19 May 2011, 20:17, Ignore, 1 reply, 8 minutes ago, I like this!)
Or maybe -
'Facefuckers'? You know the sort.
(DeadEyeDick Now needs a 100% more accurate login, Thu 19 May 2011, 20:12, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
Once...
I went to the supermarket and as always happens I grabbed a push cart with a wobbly wheel. It was crap, you can't fly down the aisles on those with wobbly wheels as you just career off into people, the shelves, or large stacks of tins comically positioned at the end of the runway.

Anyway, thats my trolly story.


Hmmm....
(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Thu 19 May 2011, 20:09, Ignore, 3 replies, latest was 1 hour ago, I like this!)
If there's no prior..
I'd like to coin the term 'macwanker'
(DeadEyeDick Now needs a 100% more accurate login, Thu 19 May 2011, 20:00, Ignore, 1 reply, 2 hours ago, I like this!)
Litmus test for sad bastards
I'm a massive troll. Someone once got so angry at my being a stone-cold troll that they hit me, and in doing so wounded me.

Fortunately, I regenerated and took him out with my vomit attack.
(StapMyVitals, Thu 19 May 2011, 19:39, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
Remember Varitalk?
In 2005 when "Snakes On A Plane" was still buzzing on the web Varitalk came up with a viral marketing trick that was truly brilliant- you put some data in and someone's phone number and it would call that number with Samuel L. Mothafukkin Jackson's voice and tell them all about the movie.

I sent it to a rather lunatic friend of mine, and five minutes later he called me. "How the fuck did you do that?" he demanded, with an almost hysterical edge to his voice. I told him and he immediately hung up.

From what I hear, the phone lines in that part of the city lit up heavily as he did it to twenty friends, who did it to twenty friends, who did it to twenty friends...

It's a wonder any calls went through at all that night.
( The Resident Loon haulin' glass down the interstate, Thu 19 May 2011, 19:30, Ignore, 1 reply, 2 hours ago, I like this!)
B3ta should change its font to comic sans.

( Amorous Badger HOT ANAL DICKRIDE, Thu 19 May 2011, 19:29, Ignore, 1 reply, 1 hour ago, I like this!)
Top work here.
b3ta.com/questions/habits/post776625

Beautifully laid out for the internet psychologists to interpret.
( Amorous Badger HOT ANAL DICKRIDE, Thu 19 May 2011, 19:25, Ignore, 5 replies, latest was 3 hours ago, I like this!)
Not mine...
...for I wouldn't have the balls to write something like this, but here is a truly epic bit of trolling. That it actually made it into Psychology Today is mind-blowing.

Satoshi Kanazawa had better watch his back for a very long time after that.
( The Resident Loon haulin' glass down the interstate, Thu 19 May 2011, 19:12, Ignore, 4 replies, latest was 1 hour ago, I like this!)
I admit it, I do sometimes troll a bit.
When I see someone being particularly obnoxious online, I observe them for a bit and then start winding them up. Remember Flame Warriors? I use several of the personas on there to great effect. Loads of fun.

I have to say, though, that one of my better trolls can be found here.
( The Resident Loon haulin' glass down the interstate, Thu 19 May 2011, 18:21, Ignore, 8 replies, latest was 2 hours ago, I like this!)
I just saw a poster for the Green Lantern
bearing the image of a character in the film by the name of Kilowog.

I was disappointed to discover that the other characters are not Megapaki and Giganigga.
(f_rev, Thu 19 May 2011, 18:11, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
That thing you like is shit because it's shit.
And everything you believe is steewwwpid.
( A Vagabond so much to hate, so little time, Thu 19 May 2011, 17:59, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
I really wanted to avoid just linking to other stuff,
but this is a level and quality of trolling that deserves airtime. The ever famous, bloodninja.

people.ambrosiasw.com/~andrew/funny/bloodcyber.html
(sandettie light vessel automatic was being bummed in the face on, Thu 19 May 2011, 17:09, Ignore, 5 replies, latest was 3 hours ago, I like this!)
Moral relativism is perfectly valid.

( A Vagabond so much to hate, so little time, Thu 19 May 2011, 16:55, Ignore, 6 replies, latest was 2 hours ago, I like this!)
Group trolling.
My Chemistry teacher, no matter how much he would have denied it, had an uncanny resemblance to Postman Pat. My friends with elder siblings had been warned that on no account was this to be mentioned, the irrational explosion of terrifying anger that would ensue was not worth the risk. Obviously this was like a red rag flying cat to an autism bull, but being scared little first years none of us were brave enough to outright say anything. Instead, we embarked on what with hindsight I can now see as a monumental effort of group trolling. It started small, little snippets of conversation as he walked past desks. "Did you see Grange Hill last night?", "No, my little brother had his Postman Pat video on", then vague hummings of the theme tune or odd references to 'Have you seen Jess?', Questions - 'Sir, how does the sticky stuff on the back of a stamp work?'. You could almost see the paranoia and twitch in his eye develop as the lessons passed.

Waiting outside at the start of class "it's like pension day at the Post Office'. Bad jokes that didn't even make sense "Knock Knock, Who's There? The Postman? The Postman who? 'The Postman always knocks twice" (Not that any of us would have seen the film, I'm sure, but we'd heard of it).

And then someone turned up to class with a Postman Pat Pencil Box and a whole new level of warfare was opened, we spent our lunch money on Postman Pat rulers, Pens, Rubbers, Pencil Sharpeners, Lunch boxes, a couple of people started bringing in younger siblings Postman Pat satchel's with their books in. And then, finally, in a moment of genius that turned us from irritants to flat out bullies someone bought in about 50 sheets of Postman Pat wrapping paper and each and every one of us, bar a few of the hardy ne'er do wrongs, covered our homework books in them before we handed them in. One by one they piled up on his desk as the steam started to pour from his ears and his face turned red as...well...a post box.

Sadly there is no great pay off to this story. Next lesson we all got our books back, all of which had had the offending paper removed and an unspoken agreement seemed to settle upon us that we had taken this as far as we could. So I never did get to see the infamous temper and this story kinda just fades away, but having just spent 10 minutes writing it down, I'm quite proud of 11 year old me and my cohorts.
( scarpe is sober, Thu 19 May 2011, 16:43, Ignore, 2 replies, latest was 1 hour ago, I like this!)
Macs are shit
and so is Linux.

and Sylvester McCoy was the best Doctor Who.
(sandettie light vessel automatic was being bummed in the face on, Thu 19 May 2011, 16:41, Ignore, 13 replies, latest was 35 minutes ago, I like this!)
this guy must be up there with the best, surely.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-13451965
( janet aylia is being angry on the internet with sub-par wit, Thu 19 May 2011, 16:40, Ignore, 1 reply, 3 hours ago, I like this!)
I much prefer Motif to Qt.
What?
(uncle_bud is not the jelly roll king., Thu 19 May 2011, 16:39, Ignore, 1 reply, 1 hour ago, I like this!)
I occasionally get bored and email people:
I applied for a writers position, from a vague and unassuming advertisement I found. I was curious, maybe it was something I could juggle whilst at University and gain some experience, get paid and maybe even get published.... But then I got a reply.
--

“Hi Mr Lizard,

Thanks for your email. Currently we only have voluntary writing opportunities available. This would mean writing 3/4 articles per week on the website. Would you be interested in this? If so please could you forward me a piece of fashion/style writing you have done. If you don't have any then please could you write a piece and send it through to me?

Thanks, Sid*

--
Unfortunately I know sod all about the fashion industry. But that didn't stop me:
--
Dear Sid*

First of all, a hearty thanks in your direction. I have absolutely no problem writing three quarter articles. I am quite interested in this unusual request, i’ll admit, even though I have never trampled into the realms of the fashion industry before, I am now tempted beyond recourse. I now wish to dive headlong into uncertainty (and possible oblivion / enlightenment) and seek a new path.
So yes, my interest has hit new levels of unquenched desire to break away the crumbling shackles of an old me (i.e the boring unfashionable, dull me), and bravely stare into the vain colossus of the fashion industry. Stare the textile beast into its patchwork eye, punch it in the face and roar into its hypothetical mouth... ‘NO!’ (I shall roar)... ‘NO! Ye shall not conquer me, I am a MAN! ‘
So yes, hit me....
Oh wait, you want an article. Have some of this then (see below these words in brackets).

Article 1: (Gloves)
Gloves, gloves gloves.... Love with a ‘G’ at the beginning.
They cover your fingers, and you can get them for your toes (socks). They are simple devices, and are operated by inserting a finger into an individual sheath (five on each glove). The gloves do the rest.
Gloves are often worn on both hands (left and right) and are available in sizes ranging from microscopic (i.e anti-bacterial gloves) to Gargantuan (as worn by the Giant of Illinois – A Mr Robert Pershing Wadlow, who was over eight feet tall) – Imagine the size of his hands! I bet he could throw a man through the wall if he wanted to. A man you would never give lip to, that’s for sure. Although records do assure me his is quite dead and was actually a pacifist, so worry not.
For more information regarding the Giant of Illinois, please refer to the song ‘The Giant of Illinois’ by the band the Handsome family. It’s actually quite melancholic and best suited to a cold winter night, in which you can celebrate his life by wearing gloves and going for a nice walk under the gaze of a winter moon in stilts and squinting a bit so you trick your brain into thinking you are taller.
Anyhoo, Gloves. They are available in many materials, (including wool, leather and plate mail gauntlets with spikes on). They are used for a thousand different uses, and are quite adaptable. If forced to, you could quite easily wear the left glove on your right hand, or even on your head as some sort of impromptu comedy rooster (and strap one to your chin for added effect).
You can fill them with water. Assuming they are waterproof (the best way to test is to fill them with water) and they make handy water bottles if you happen to have lost your water bottle. Me and a friend once filled a laboratory gloved with a LOT of water inside and an egg and rolled it into a pub. It was amazing how strong those gloves were. We’ve been searching for those types ever since, but we can only find the powdery ones, that burst halfway down the stairs filling your shared house hallway with a lot of water and drenching you in the process. Having to explain that to your wildly humourless executive type housemate isn’t fun.

Gloves were probably invented to keep your hands warm, but are often used by golfers, in case all that strenuous golf hurts their hand. Others may tell you it’s to get a grip on the golf club, but don’t trust those people. They all work for.....

I would usually finish this article but i’m now 3/4 of the way through and i’m determined to stick to the plan.
If you would like more info regarding the last 1/4 of the article, or indeed any info about the Giant of Illinois, gloves, gauntlets, helmets, spears, pikes and maces, pauldrons, tabards, kerchiefs, coifs, headbands, and banners made from the scalps of a thousand dead warriors, then please contact me at this email address.

I hope together we can sail the woollen boat across the Velcro sea, together holding hands under the ominous shadow of a vain and burning sun (i.e the fashion industry).
I thank ye.
Mr L

--

Never got a reply.

*Name changed to protect Sid.
(mr-lizard Best fight scene ever!, Thu 19 May 2011, 16:36, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
Some real life friend trolling
I've got a mate who managed to make quite a bit of money when he sold his business. He took a portion of said money and invested in a lovely bit of period property in North London.

Lovely, except for this crappy old out house type building in the back garden, about 5 foot away from the back door. He decided he wanted to put funky glass conservatory on the back of the house. Now you don’t need planning permission from the council to put in a conservatory but you do need planning permission to alter the existing building in anyway. He was refused permission to pull down the crappy old our house standing in the way of his conservatory but though “piss off council minges” and decided to pull it down and go ahead anyway.

One day shortly after he’d moved in he was telling me all this while we were in the pub, before adding that the only way he thought he’d get caught is if the council had anyone drive by the house to check if building work was going on, following the planning permission refusal. He told how he had planned meticulously to make sure the window of getting caught (having a skip outside his house for the old rubble) was as short as possible, ½ a day and would make all the builders park two roads along at an all day carpark.

Realising how much effort he must have gone to and that he would undoubtedly be stressing out about being found out, I hatched a plan. Below is the outcome of said plan, which I mailed to him shortly after work commenced. To be fair I did include a few subtle references that it might not be quite what it appears on first glance.
( WhoresPower. tHEiNVISIBLEmAN, Thu 19 May 2011, 22:50, Delete, Edit, Reply, I like this!)
trol lol
Trolls

Are you a troll? Ever been trolled? Ever pwn3d a troll with your 1337 intarnet sk1llz? Or do you live under a bridge and eat goats? Tell us your trolly stories, both from the web and from real life

Thanks to The Hedgehog From Hell for the suggestion

( Scaryduck - twitter.com/scaryduck, Thu 19 May 2011, 11:49)
Pages: Latest, 3, 2, 1

Tell Us Your Story »

Railtrack
Nothing to do with me, but top trolling nonetheless. Apologies if you've seen it before

After the collapse of Railtrack plc, someone registered Railtrack Ltd in Scotland, and responded to all the misaddressed post intended for the rail company.

www.fitlads.net/tmp/railtrack.pdf

For example:

Dear Sirs [Southern Electric],

SUPPLY TO:
RAILTRACK XT METER CABINET, UXBRIDGE ROAD, SOUTHALL, MIDDLESEX.
CUSTOMER ACCOUNT NO: 71996 18016
REFERENCE: TARA/CM007D

Thank you for your recent letter and we note that you say that if we don’t pay for electricity used, you may have to cut off the supply.

We do not require this supply and, as far as we are concerned, you may disconnect it.
( le brian a regargé un avion dans la ciel, Thu 19 May 2011, 22:03, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
This post's link to trolling may be so tenuous as to count as trolling itself, but...
...one time my sister got trolled by a dog.

Back in '06 I was on holiday in Spain with my husband and sister. One day we hit a beach. My sister was sitting in one area of the beach and we were a little ways away. A dog was free-ranging around the place, doing dog things like running in one direction and then another. I watched as he approached my sister. "She's not gonna like that," I thought - the dog was a muscular, barrel-shaped little guy and she's afraid of any dog that is even vaguely fighty-looking.

Well, she didn't like it. Not at all. Because the dog went right up to her, stopped, lifted his leg and marked his territory. The sequence was smooth, the execution flawless. LIKE HE HAD IT ALL PLANNED OUT.

I look back on this as one of the happiest moments of my life so far due to the comedy value of the situation and the joy I knew it would bring to others. "Hey, Rainbow Meow's sister, what did you do in Spain? Oh yeah, you got urinated on by a dog even though there were plenty of other people and objects nearby. You were the chosen one!"
( Rainbow Meow, Thu 19 May 2011, 21:43, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
I like
when Doctor Who teams up with the Romulans to battle the Cylons on Hoth.
(StapMyVitals, Thu 19 May 2011, 21:36, Ignore, 1 reply, 37 minutes ago, I like this!)
I like JarJar.

( Dr. Shambolic "buh" for "Bette Midler", Thu 19 May 2011, 21:31, Ignore, 2 replies, latest was 18 minutes ago, I like this!)
"With great power comes great responsibility."
Best Batman line ever.
(Bourbon Fox What doesn't kill me, puts me in intensive care, Thu 19 May 2011, 21:18, Ignore, 2 replies, latest was 38 minutes ago, I like this!)
all good fun til somone loses an eye
its because of all the trollers getting in each others space that we had the cod wars and we’re still no clearer about whether or not she exists.
( uzzardC4H5As, Thu 19 May 2011, 21:10, Ignore, 2 replies, latest was 55 minutes ago, I like this!)
I Troll
Therefore, I am.
(Galahad last night, Thu 19 May 2011, 21:02, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
Sometimes when I feel mischievous
I like to place a link for someone to follow that doesn't lead where they think it will at all, but instead to a YouTube video of Rick Astley's hit "Never Gonna Give You Up". It's hilarious, and most invigorating when people get annoyed at it.
(StapMyVitals, Thu 19 May 2011, 20:57, Ignore, 2 replies, latest was 7 minutes ago, I like this!)
Atheism as a faith.
I just LOVE winding up atheists by pointing out that atheism is, in fact, a faith. The existence or non-existence of a god cannot be proven- if it could, the debate would have been over thousands of years ago- so firmly maintaining that God does not exist is an act of faith.

(Stating that you don't believe he exists is perfectly valid, of course.)

I just love watching their heads spin.
( The Resident Loon haulin' glass down the interstate, Thu 19 May 2011, 20:41, Ignore, 27 replies, latest was 24 minutes ago, I like this!)
Not mine
but perhaps one of the two greatest IRC quotes from bash.org (the other one, of course, being the bitchchecker h4xx0r episode).

*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
[Abstruse] !kjv numbers 22:21
[Word_of_God] Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. - (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)
[Abstruse] I know I'm never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that...

FWIW I'm a Christian (of the woolly liberal CofE variety) and this still makes me laugh every time.
(ChaRleyTroniC is invincible with his chips and cheese, Thu 19 May 2011, 20:33, Ignore, 1 reply, 1 hour ago, I like this!)
Ken Clarke
That is some serious trolling.
(Galahad last night, Thu 19 May 2011, 20:17, Ignore, 1 reply, 8 minutes ago, I like this!)
Or maybe -
'Facefuckers'? You know the sort.
(DeadEyeDick Now needs a 100% more accurate login, Thu 19 May 2011, 20:12, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
Once...
I went to the supermarket and as always happens I grabbed a push cart with a wobbly wheel. It was crap, you can't fly down the aisles on those with wobbly wheels as you just career off into people, the shelves, or large stacks of tins comically positioned at the end of the runway.

Anyway, thats my trolly story.


Hmmm....
(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Thu 19 May 2011, 20:09, Ignore, 3 replies, latest was 1 hour ago, I like this!)
If there's no prior..
I'd like to coin the term 'macwanker'
(DeadEyeDick Now needs a 100% more accurate login, Thu 19 May 2011, 20:00, Ignore, 1 reply, 2 hours ago, I like this!)
Litmus test for sad bastards
I'm a massive troll. Someone once got so angry at my being a stone-cold troll that they hit me, and in doing so wounded me.

Fortunately, I regenerated and took him out with my vomit attack.
(StapMyVitals, Thu 19 May 2011, 19:39, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
Remember Varitalk?
In 2005 when "Snakes On A Plane" was still buzzing on the web Varitalk came up with a viral marketing trick that was truly brilliant- you put some data in and someone's phone number and it would call that number with Samuel L. Mothafukkin Jackson's voice and tell them all about the movie.

I sent it to a rather lunatic friend of mine, and five minutes later he called me. "How the fuck did you do that?" he demanded, with an almost hysterical edge to his voice. I told him and he immediately hung up.

From what I hear, the phone lines in that part of the city lit up heavily as he did it to twenty friends, who did it to twenty friends, who did it to twenty friends...

It's a wonder any calls went through at all that night.
( The Resident Loon haulin' glass down the interstate, Thu 19 May 2011, 19:30, Ignore, 1 reply, 2 hours ago, I like this!)
B3ta should change its font to comic sans.

( Amorous Badger HOT ANAL DICKRIDE, Thu 19 May 2011, 19:29, Ignore, 1 reply, 1 hour ago, I like this!)
Top work here.
b3ta.com/questions/habits/post776625

Beautifully laid out for the internet psychologists to interpret.
( Amorous Badger HOT ANAL DICKRIDE, Thu 19 May 2011, 19:25, Ignore, 5 replies, latest was 3 hours ago, I like this!)
Not mine...
...for I wouldn't have the balls to write something like this, but here is a truly epic bit of trolling. That it actually made it into Psychology Today is mind-blowing.

Satoshi Kanazawa had better watch his back for a very long time after that.
( The Resident Loon haulin' glass down the interstate, Thu 19 May 2011, 19:12, Ignore, 4 replies, latest was 1 hour ago, I like this!)
I admit it, I do sometimes troll a bit.
When I see someone being particularly obnoxious online, I observe them for a bit and then start winding them up. Remember Flame Warriors? I use several of the personas on there to great effect. Loads of fun.

I have to say, though, that one of my better trolls can be found here.
( The Resident Loon haulin' glass down the interstate, Thu 19 May 2011, 18:21, Ignore, 8 replies, latest was 2 hours ago, I like this!)
I just saw a poster for the Green Lantern
bearing the image of a character in the film by the name of Kilowog.

I was disappointed to discover that the
(WhoresPower. tHEiNVISIBLEmAN, Thu 19 May 2011, 23:03, closed)