Sigh
After wading through countless horse sataue, banana, aglet posts, i believe I have 2 that actually haven't been posted yet:

The only animals to make love face to face are humans and the two toed sloth.

Shakespeare invented the words "assassinate" and "bump"

Huzzah.
(mrcheese989, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 17:37, Reply)

if you had an ocean big enough
saturn (the planet) would float on it.
ho hum. how droll.
(Mildred is a slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 17:26, Reply)

X-Rays in Shoe Shops
I remember having my feet x-rayed in a shoe shop, but that must have been in the 70s.

Obligitory fact: India will soon overtake China as the most populous nation in the world
( Silva, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 17:04, Reply)

Can Openers
The can opener was introduced 38 years after the invention of tinned food. -Fact-
(Intt, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 16:53, Reply)

origin of saying
the saying saved by the bell came from the fact in victorian times they often didnt diagnose people dead properly and actually got buried alive. because of this people were buried with a small bell.

this also coined the phrase graveyard shift, becuase somone has the task of sitting in a graveyard to listen for the bell some hours ofter the person was buried.
(davemate11, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 16:48, Reply)

Did you know
Roughly 10% of these posts rather annoyingly point out that the other 90% of the posts are not true and that they haven't been checked against urban legends etc...
(Biggsy, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 16:44, Reply)

Revenge Of the Nerds
I don't understand any of this.
Starzy sent me a link and now I'm caught up with a bunch of Cyber geeks. I want scrumpy not cyber.
Can anyone help this tofu munching mincer?
(Vegan Wurzel, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 16:37, Reply)

Predictive text
If you try and spell out "Smirnoff" using predictive text on your phone, it will instead spell "poisoned." Coincidence? I think not.
( Fictional Emma, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 16:32, Reply)

Czech Girls
are some of the wildest and hottest horny teens anywhere in the world, it's a fact.

(see for yourself)

tgp.adultplex.com/adultplex_galleries/_template_images/czect/czect_001_text02.gif
(you're all a bunch of twats anyway, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 15:59, Reply)

Robbie Williams
Is a complete and utter Jizz Duck
(you're all a bunch of twats anyway, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 15:55, Reply)

Shark!
More people are killed every year from falling coconuts than by shark attacks
(darkmavis86, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 15:45, Reply)

Paedos
Did you know that all good teachers or nursery nurses should be paedophiles?

The real meaning of the word paedophile is someone with a deep seeded (and all together non-sexual) love of children. Hence philosophy (love of wisdom). People who molest children should be described as paedorasts.

Sorry for length, first post woo!
(darkmavis86, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 15:44, Reply)

useless
16 people every year are killed by vending machines falling on them. The plastic bits on the end of your shoe laces are called aglets
(nick_olous, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 15:39, Reply)

The Gospel Truth
If you were to recite everything Jesus is recorded to have said, it would take less than two hours.
(diddums, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 15:26, Reply)

Mo Money Mo problems
Laila Morse, who plays Mo Slater (snr) in Eastenders is Gary Oldman's sister. And that's not her real name, but an anagram of the Italian for 'my sister' - 'mia sorella'
(diddums, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 15:22, Reply)

Orange does rhyme
Rhyme: (n) Correspondence of terminal sounds of words or of lines of verse

Terminal sound = last syllable. Orange, therefore, rhymes with syringe. That's assuming your regional accent pronounces orange "orinje" ranther than "oranje"
(Fat Bear is adjusting your breasts on, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 15:19, Reply)

Cottage PIe or Shepherd's Pie
The difference between cottage pie and shepherds pie is that cottage pie is made from beef (the cows being kept close to the cottage for milking) and home-grown vegetables, whereas shepherds pie is made from lamb & potatoes (the only things available for eating in the far-flung grazing pastures).
(diddums, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 15:19, Reply)

Stephen King
Stephen King makes a cameo appearence in every film remake of one of his books.

Look out for him. With a face like that he is hard to miss!
(Mogg Questioned her own sanity on, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 14:57, Reply)

Friendly Bacteria
I havent read all the pages so far, so if this has been said then i apologise!

The whole idea of bacteria to help your digestive tract is utter bollocks. The bacteria in question lives in the intestines. To take them orally is pointless, as the stomach acid and digestive juices kill the bacteria on contact.
(Mogg Questioned her own sanity on, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 14:47, Reply)

The Blorenge
The Blorenge is a hill near Abergavenny in Wales. It overlooks the River Usk. It is 480m (1,570ft) high. There is no word in the English language that rhymes with Blorenge.

Except "orange".
(McFlooble, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 14:36, Reply)

Paul from Wonder Years is NOT!!!!!! Marylin Manson
THey look alike, but that's it!
Paul was played by Josh Saviano

Manson's real name is Brian Warner!

Here is Saviano's entry on the Internet Movie Database:
Note the bit where it mentions this rumour . .
www.imdb.com/name/nm0767606/bio
(Barry Subchimp, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 14:31, Reply)

Snow White
Walt Disney's original draft of 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs' actually featured an extra dwarf, and was therefore called 'Snow White and the Eight Little Men'.

The extra dwarf, 'Tall', was removed on recommendation of the British Pantomime Association; after they explained to Walt that dwarfs will only ever be seen together in odd numbers.
(Raoul Moat's New Fishing Rod, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 14:31, Reply)

Make a Spazzy Face.........
......if the wind has just changed, your face will be stuck like that. FACT.


NB. this may not have an effect on you if you already have a spazzy face. Unless you where making a different spazzy face, in which case, your new spazzy face may make a welcome change.
(Jeeves, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 14:16, Reply)

Phrases
"Close but no cigar"
Apparantly originates from carnival games of skill where the prize was often a cigar. Hence if you missed you were the above phrase.
"Dead as a door nail"
Nails used to have to be hand made and therefore expensive so people would salvage them at a later date. Nails holding doors in place however were bent to hold them in place, thus rendering the nail dead.
And finally
"Jump on the bandwagon"
In old political campaigns candidates would literally have a wagon with a band on to draw up support for them, people who did support would often show this by jumping on said bandwagon.
Apologise for length got carried away, bored at work
(Alpen, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 14:14, Reply)

Paul from "The Wonder Years" IS Marilyn Manson
...which I only found out the other day - Am I the last person to work it out? Probably. Mmng.
(Rata-tat-atouille, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 14:11, Reply)

Charlie Chaplin
Came third in a left handed polar bear who can lick their elbow contest, sponsored by the "Duck Quack" Echo. Paul from "The Wonder Years" came second, dressed as Marilyn Manson wearing banana aglets, and a POSH dog (with a very clean anus)was looking up at them both at the time. The whole thing took half an hour, which left Isaac Newton the pig just enough time to finish ejaculating into a yellow NYLON cheese.

Or something like that anyway.
( BobbyParadise, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 13:57, Reply)

X-rays
I was told recently by my atomic physics lecturer that from just after their invention till the 1960s most shoe shops in America possessed an x-ray machine. People would try on shoes then have an x-ray taken and from that they would find a better shoe for them.
Got stopped due to irradiating customers feet i assume.
(Alpen, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 13:56, Reply)

Wearing out the b3ta website
Clicking the "I like this" link below ten times in a row makes the b3ta website show a secret message about wear and tear.......
( Fr_Jerry_McGwier looked over both shoulders at, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 13:48, Reply)

Crisps:
No type of crisps produced (to date) ever taste like the flavour as described on the packet.

'scampi & lemon' flavour Nik-Naks came close, and would have succeeded if they'd have named them 'whores fanny' flavour.
(nappy rash, Tue 22 Mar 2005, 13:31, Reply)

Land of the free... getting bored. prt 7
The USA was condemned in the World Court for funding and waging a horrific war in Nicaragua.

They are the only country to have ever been condemned for terrorism against Nicaragua, and the Court ordered the USA to pay Nicaragua about $9 billion in reparations. Of course, America never did. What they did do was step up their attacks and increase their already mad economic pressure.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Tue 22 Mar 2005, 13:26, Reply)