no I'm not
on this wall here tinyurl.com/22sea3e there used to be a bit of graffiti that read Daz is gay (might not have been Daz... but y'know) and when Daz (or whoever, it's not important) saw it, he immediately got his tippex out of his bag and tippexed out the permanent marker.

on a wall

(you could still see it underneath too)
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Victoria Line
Someone had gone to great effort to produce stickers which looked authentic:

"Please be advised that at busy times it may be necessary for other passengers to sit on your lap"
( Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Nottingham, Exchange Arcade (The shitty overpriced place under the Council House)
Until all manner of various overpriced clothing and jewellery shops opened there, there was a small barber shop, quite simply called "Public Hairdresser".

The "L" was always removed within a few days of the sign being repaired.
( Muns, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Where I live there's this rubbish vandalism of this wall.
And a thalidomide victim eats out of rubbish bags. Yemen is so lovely.


(pissflaps. FSPW, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

On the bus to work one morning
I passed a bus stop with some freshly scrawled graffiti in a pink marker pen declaring "Samantha loves Darren". Nothing too unusual.

However the following morning, passing the same bus stop, the original message had been scored through and a new declaration, in the same pen and same handwriting, read "Darren has AIDS."

It is the one and only time I have burst into uncontrollable laughter on a bus.

Poor Darren.
( greg_evigan is possibly deceased on, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

TOX '08

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 10:33, 4 replies)

Didn't see it myself
but I've been told about it by a realiable source. A group of vandals grouped together and went on a spree of what can only be classed as carnage. They went on to sack Rome, targetting the Catholics in particular and generally pissed off the locals.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 9:08, Reply)

Standard
post about M25 bridge



Always raises a smile after six miles of roadworks
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 8:55, 4 replies)

That building at the back
Was Cornmill Hotel. It eventually went bust about 4 years ago and some travelling folk decided to move in (and probably systematically stripped the place of any copper wiring/pipes and other scrap metal.

However, back in 1998, my mate got married there. That small wall at the front with the blue sign wasn't there back then and in its place was a different small wall upon which someone had sprayed in large black letters:
"FUCK OFF!"
After the ceremony, the groom, best man, myself and a few other blokes posed in front of that wall and the groom's mother took a picture, completely oblivious to the sweariness that we were proudly framing.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 8:53, Reply)

Vandal at its worst.
A long time ago I learnt how to scuba dive. One night as my mate and I were ready to leave the classroom we spied across the road a pub. This pub hadn't existed the week before and so curiosity piqued, we went across to check it out.

I understand the scenes in movies where lights shine and angelic music is played whence opening the door. In we strolled to an empty pub - it had only opened that night.

It was better than any Xmas. The chalk for the pool cues had not been used, so we defiled that with the brand new cues, leaving our grimy paw prints all over those slender pale wooded rods. The carpet still had that new smell to it and so we trod all over like a romp in a flower garden. The toilets were cleaner than in a show room, not one comment upon the walls and toilet paper still all gummed up on the first leaf. I left water drops all over the sink from where I shook my hands like a dog coming out of the ocean. My mate left a drop of pee on the toilet seat. In the utter and absolute vandalous nature of this outing, I threw my ice cubes under the pool table - take that, you brand new carpet and shiny pool table legs.

Ah, seeing the white ball with blue chalk on it - that was me popping your cherry. No one else will ever do such a heinous thing first on that lush and shiny green felt. The juke box trembled in anticipation as we lit upon it with an evil giggle. What song will we celebrate its birth? Primal Scream - Rocks - was the first in line that night to be karoaked in our sour, drunken tones.

A free drink for being the first customer - a vodka shot we asked for - with us laughing to hear the agonising scream of the bottle being wrenched asunder with the seal being broken. The first coaster was brainlessly flung against the far wall.

A shiver of beastly sexuality shot through me that night. Sex and violence - I now understand it.
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 8:43, Reply)

Bang
On a school trip to France in the 80s it was obligatory to stock up on red bangers which came in various sizes, a bit like dynamite, you lit one end and, well, BANG!

A trip to St.Omer in the last days of term before the summer holidays enabled much stocking up and we were quite creative in there deployment.

One night we thought it would be a great idea to strap four of the biggest ones together, quietly burrow a shaft just wide enough to accomodate said bangers in our Headmaster's front lawn, then light them.

Poor bastard, he never did come back in the Autumn.
(Croque Monsieur, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Way back when beer was less than £1 a pint (74p for a pint of Red Stripe as I recall)...
I had the nickname 'Frogger'

In my local (The Globe*, St Neots) at the time, I'd scrawled this above the urinals in the toilets. New landlords came in and painted over this (remarking to me in the bar that it had taken several coats to prevent the wording coming through, and did I know who did it?) Heh.

Then, one drunk night, after shaking and putting the little chap away, I looked at the (now pristine) wall, took out my keys and carved a HUGE 'F' dead centre. This remained there for some 10 years or more, numerous coats of paint failing to obliterate it.

The pub shut some time ago now, but everytime I go past, I smile inside.

*When they first got a pool table, I was seeing (to) the landlord's daughter at the time and was first to christen the pool table - I stole the cue ball as a memento.
( snee held his breath since, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 8:37, 2 replies)

This is more vandalism theory than actual vandalism
I have an idea to get lot of different sized question marks in sticker form printed off and stick them on signs that dont need/warrent them.
Keep off the grass, Danger high voltage etc.

Just because
( jakedamusss I understand, and dont care., Thu 14 Oct 2010, 4:03, Reply)

Pea...
One from here not so long ago and one I now do when I am staying in a hotel or motel that has been invaded by cultists:
Frontispiece of a bible: "All the best. - Jesus."

Not nearly as witty but from Auckland in the 80's:
- Be alert. Your country needs lerts.
- Bob Marley LIVES! (The day after he died). So some genius crossed out LIVES and wrote IS DEAD. meh.
(wino.NZ The Ayatollah of rock n' rolla..., Thu 14 Oct 2010, 4:00, Reply)

y'all do realise that this has already been done?
check out wins.failblog.org. all pics of awesome vandalism.
(fai is rocking khaz modan server as of, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 0:10, 1 reply)

Shoot the Moon
Was a tag seen on every available surface near where I lived in the 90's


PC Moon was a local Police Officer
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 23:58, Reply)

The public hair salon is Scunthorpe....
Has for as long as I can remember, has always read pubic hair salon. Strangely nobody bothers changing the welcome to Scunthorpe signs!
(burkyman, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 23:14, Reply)

OOOoooo last minute
The children I work with have a game (juiced 2) that got laser burn. They were fierce disappointed and feeling sorry for them I remembered that my brother has the same game and doesn't play it. I asked him today could they borrow it and he said yes so long as it isn't damaged.

Kid's were naturally delighted when suddenly I hatched an evil plan. This evening I took the burnt game and with aid of kids have scratched hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha all over the disk. I plan to hand it back to my brother tomorrow and say that the kids said it wasn't working.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 23:06, 1 reply)

I like the scrawl on one of the pedestrian crossing buttons near me
DO NOT PRESS
WILL DESTROY
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:44, Reply)

Posh graffiti
In one of the cubicles of the toilets near Waitrose in Bath, someone's written "PAT" on the wall. Someone else has put an R between the P and the A. It's inane but I always have a little giggle.
( krang, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 22:13, Reply)

not-quite-subliminal messages
several years ago, i was in the habit of having friends around to get wasted and watch films. we would often taunt newcomers to our circle and play pranks on them.
christophe got the worst.
knowing he wasn't very good at handling weed-induced paranoia, i hatched a devious and somewhat evil plan. i nabbed a luminous pen from my mate and set to work on the bathroom tiles. in huge letters, all over the bathroom, i wrote "KILL THEM, KILL THEM ALL, THEY MUST ALL DIE!"
of course, as the pen was luminous, the words didn't show up while the light was on. i left the light on and continued with the night's preparations.
scroll forward 4 hours and christophe is now very stoned, highly paranoid and bursting for a wee. as soon as he shut the bathroom door, i crept down the hall and turned the light off. the homicidal messsages were now glowing brightly over the walls of my smallest room.
the screams, oh, the screams. they totally made the 3 hours of scrubbing that crap off my tiles worth it. christophe shot out of the bathroom, white and shaking, with a decent-sized wet patch on the front of his jeans. seems he hadn't waited to finish his pee.
he never came back again.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:27, 1 reply)

Lancaster University.....
Circa 2001.

Daubed around the Student Union near Furness College....

"GOING TO WAR FOR PEACE IS LIKE SHAGGING FOR VIRGINITY"

Student politics, eh?
(jdharding, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:12, Reply)

Swansea was littered with these for a while, thanks to two of my friends

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 20:58, 1 reply)

Saw this the other day

(Flap Burger hasn't really got a burger made of flaps, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:54, Reply)

In 1973 ...
I was working for a cardboard mill - lots of lovely dyes....

By a strange coincidence the fountains at Trafalgar Square were dyed red on New Year's Eve that same year!
( Vambo, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:40, Reply)

Invisible graffiti
Working on a building site you see the usual dull racist homophobic graffiti, but it was the plasterers that were subtle.
As they would graffiti on the plaster board wall a few their names for prosperity, but others would draw tits or 'you cunts/wankers etc' knowing that whoever worked or lived in the building would be there and not realise what is actually surrounding them, which was mildly amusing for a short time.

Decorators would also leave their mark, I was refurbishing my first house about 20 years ago, it hadn't been redecorated since the 50’s or 60’s judging by the top layer of orange flowery wall paper, so it all had to be removed.
I was stripping back the multiple layers of wall paper, having to do it very carefully as it was on the original lath and plaster walls, I stripped it back on the main wall and gradually revealed written in pencil in large letters, 'you bloddy queer' (sic) tastefully illustrated with a picture of a large hairy cock and balls. It made me laugh that some 50 years after it was done it did its job.

Nice to know some traditions in building are consistent
(nimrodihnio making gravy for one., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:35, 3 replies)

Pure class
Whoever did this was either a student, or had too much time on their hands. Seen on the U1 bus in Southampton. I never saw any disabled people on that bus... but there were quite a few wheelchairs in the luggage area... :|


(JezB, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:05, 2 replies)

Anyone else remember.....
The return to Gillingham Grammar School after the Summer holidays in (about)1974 to find daubed in three foot white letters across the front wall "HICKS WANKS CAMELS"....?

Mr John Hicks MSc, MA Cantab(for the Headmaster was he) never mentioned it funnily enough....

Love to know who did it, and whether Mr Hicks did actually perform manual relief upon frustrated bactrians.
(Colonel Blink is now officially a pretentious prick, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:58, 3 replies)

I just found this...
on the floor outside my office


(JezB, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:58, 1 reply)

I have seen this image posted on 4chan a few times. Not mine obv.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:39, 4 replies)