At my cousin's wedding, my uncle put a largish amount of money behind the bar so that everyone could have a good time
A couple of lads chanced across the reception at the local golf club (where, being pissed, I'd already taken one of the stupid little electric carts for a joyride around the course) and had noticed that no-one appeared to be paying for their drinks, so they thought they'd have a bit of that.

Now, there are ways and means of doing this. If you happen to crash a wedding's free bar, you probably won't trip anyone's radar by ordering a couple of pints of lager and a packet of crisps. Hell, the proud father would probably be happy to buy a couple of beers as long as you toast the bride with them. Not these chancers. They ordered a couple of quadruple vodkas with coke each, plus a selection of alcopops, not realising that the man standing next to them at the bar was the man who was paying.

All it took was a tiny shake of his head to the barman and our intrepid heroes found themselves being charged about £90 for the round. "But we thought it was a free bar!" one of them protested. "It is for the wedding guests," replied the barman. "Don't want them now," they said and started to back away from the bar, only to bump into my uncle and my other cousin, the bride's brother. At this point, the smarter of the two produced a debit card.

However, the bar was cash only so while one of them stayed behind under the watchful eye of my extended family, the other had to get a taxi back into town so he could go to a cashpoint and withdraw the money and then pay for the taxi back to the golf club where his mate and their now flat and warm drinks were waiting.

I don't think they tasted quite as good after all that.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 9:42, 34 replies)

This is incredibly dull.
You should have added something about your uncle knowing Karate and beheading one of the 'lads' with a roundhouse kick.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 10:06, closed)

I like this, I can imagine that taxi ride of shame

(Porcupine, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 10:15, closed)

I don't think you'll be the first to 'imagine' it.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 10:16, closed)

I like this.
But I believe it's illegal to sell quadruples.
(McChinaman banned, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 11:25, closed)

the signs clearly state, or in multiples thereof. it is illegal to serve obviously intoxicated people but no legislation exists to stop you getting drunk.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 11:46, closed)

I don't think so - this was a few years ago in any case
forgetoday.com/news/prices-up-and-measures-down-no-more-quad-vods-at-corporation/

Corporation manager Mark Hobson said: “We’ve had some of the local authorities say they don’t like it. It’s not illegal to sell four shots in one drink, but stopping that means customers may spend more time buying smaller drinks.”
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 11:52, closed)

It was illegal prior to the licensing changes in late 2005, and now isn't.
(cs1ca, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 21:17, closed)

bollocks

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 22:23, closed)

2003 according to this
www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/public-safety-bosses-hit-out-3418067

"Selling spirit measures in more than a treble was illegal under previous licensing laws.

But when the 2003 Licensing Act came into force, that was scrapped."
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 9:54, closed)

The 2003 licencing act came into force in 2005. It was the reform that permitted '24 hour drinking'.
(cs1ca, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 14:46, closed)

Aha

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 14:47, closed)

Taaaaaaaaake Oooooooooon Meeeeeeeeee Take On Me!

(Dr Doctor Can't you see I'm burning burning?, Tue 11 Nov 2014, 9:07, closed)

bollocks. you could sell bottles of spirits if you wanted, although at pub gross percentage margins those sales were rare.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 15:46, closed)