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I found an old recording I made about 20 years ago!
It's 4 minutes of not-very-well-mixed acid-jazz (why we put the piano higher than the drums and horns is beyond me) but my bass work wasn't bad.

What have you rediscovered that you're strangely proud of?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:50, archived)
Pride is a sin, m8

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:52, archived)
Looks like we've sold the fridge, and one of the wardrobes
one more wardrobe to go. #Blog
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:54, archived)
set fire to it

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:59, archived)
Nah, it's Ikea
it'll stink
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:01, archived)

ikea been used for making cheese
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:09, archived)
No, it's a big gay festival with lots of lycra
and muscly boys and whistles
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:02, archived)
I thought that was a moustache parade?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:02, archived)
^here, queer and doesn't want anymore bears

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:05, archived)
let the bears pay the bear tax I pay the homer tax

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:05, archived)
that's the homeowner tax!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:09, archived)
Don't go down to the woods today, then
or Berlin. Berlin is probably more full of bears than the woods, even on the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:06, archived)
franz ferdinand are playing in berlin today

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:08, archived)
Is this the secret agent password?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:08, archived)
nope, i just happen to know

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:10, archived)
There were lots of posters of men in leather, holding hands
In an unrelated matter, I ate a tremendous amount of sausages while I was there
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:10, archived)
That must have been early
by the time I got there the bears on the posters had gone WAY past holding hands - very little left to the imagination.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:12, archived)

h gl

lol
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:23, archived)
haha!
something about the beatles touring germany in the early days
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:24, archived)
Count me in.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:53, archived)
i'd like to see you say that to a load of lions, ma8

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 16:38, archived)
This is a good story
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disappearance_of_Gary_Mathias
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:55, archived)
look at those glasses
maybe he went missing because he was such a fuckin' nerd
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:06, archived)
YEAH

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:08, archived)
YEAH, FUCKIN *NERD*

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:16, archived)
people like that make me sick

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:54, archived)
I've been there. Plumas and Yuba. It's pretty wild.
I love the phrase "when the snow melted in June..."
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:11, archived)
you really ought to volunteer this information to the police, m8
just to remove you from their enquiries
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:13, archived)
benny on the loose!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:15, archived)
Elton Johnzzzzzzz

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:17, archived)
my Jewish heritage

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:58, archived)
mazel tov!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:01, archived)
My grandad died at Auschwitz.
He fell off a gun turret!!

lol
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:11, archived)
That is actually true

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:18, archived)
Opa Spunkmayer.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:23, archived)
strikey-g gangnam style

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 16:02, archived)
sometimes people ask me a car question and I'm not sure of the answer
so I google it and top result is something I wrote on a car forum nearly a decade earlier, which turns out to be the right answer.

It's a fucking stupid niche to be an expert in, but at least its something.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:05, archived)
well, when you're write you're write
that's what i always say
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:07, archived)
I have already edited it because I am a ninja

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:07, archived)
I thought write looked good

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:08, archived)
That's because all the people who followed your advice are dead
and can't vote down your post or reply saying "ur wrong and i'm ded!"
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:07, archived)
I stand firm on my stance that milk is the best type of brake fluid to use on a track day event.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:14, archived)
I wouldn't say expert if you have to google it
or can't remember it
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:09, archived)
Expert with dementia

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:09, archived)
shh shh, let him have this
he's got nothing else
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:10, archived)
my car wiki is basically my research notes
ain't nobody gonna remember all that shit.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:14, archived)
you're right, it is fucking stupid

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:09, archived)
I learnt it from you m8

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:13, archived)
*BOOM*

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:14, archived)
touché

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:15, archived)
haha, you got him there!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:17, archived)
he won't step to me like that again for QUITE a while

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:28, archived)
I feel sheepish, I won't lie

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:32, archived)

ish tits
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:33, archived)
no ewe

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:41, archived)
I found a bottle of coke in my drawer.
Bit flat.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:18, archived)
you'll never see the likes of these days again.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:17, archived)
posting just to say I was here

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:18, archived)
my sweaty pelmit

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:22, archived)
jesus, how many times do we need to go through this
IT'S A VALANCE
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:24, archived)
#brianconley

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:28, archived)
The less successful shoegazzzz

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:10, archived)
I was stuck behind Kevin Shields at a very odd Death in Vegas show shot for live Japanese TV at 2 in the afternoon one Saturday
The phrase 'chronic BO' has never been so inadequate.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:21, archived)
me, I mean

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:22, archived)
a poem i got published years ago
it was utter shite, but it's the first piece of writing i was ever paid for
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:37, archived)
RIP NME

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:44, archived)
Find out what it means to me

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:45, archived)
:)

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:48, archived)
i used to be a subscriber when i was at uni
didn't even realise it had become a free publication
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:48, archived)
Really?
I didn't know that either
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:51, archived)
yeah, mainly given out in london and to students apparently

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:54, archived)
and what about the NME?
haha this is a joke at your expense
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:56, archived)
oh hahahaha

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:58, archived)
i know, great isn't it!?!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:04, archived)
i don't get it

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:05, archived)
yeah, that's what I heard!
man, I'm on fire today
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:05, archived)
POW!!!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:19, archived)
that's just confused things further, if anything

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 16:03, archived)
Sure...
That's what she said!
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 16:08, archived)
what? when?
why?!
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 16:39, archived)
I am laughing in a sneering, conspiratorial way!!!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:08, archived)
my mate used to read it
i always thought it was a bit shit
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:59, archived)
yeah, it was a bit shit

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:04, archived)
it's no 'people's friend'

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:05, archived)
I subscribe for the craft project of the week

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:08, archived)
Angela's lentil soup m8
www.thepeoplesfriend.co.uk/2018/03/05/angelas-lentil-soup/
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:09, archived)
angela's a fucking whore
there
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:10, archived)
she's as pure as the driven snow
driven right up your bumhole lol
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:12, archived)
lol

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:13, archived)
Look & Learn 4 lyf, m8

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:19, archived)
My feet

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:12, archived)
It's funny because I'm fat

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:12, archived)

My Sian Lloyd's
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:14, archived)
Paging banned poster

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:16, archived)
too busy wanking himself off thinking about it

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:16, archived)
Oh wrong sian

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:17, archived)
oh he really doesn't like it when people make that mistake

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:22, archived)
Damn it, you ALWAYS accidentally leave something behind when you move
www.portsmouth.co.uk/our-region/portsmouth/breaking-hilsea-road-sealed-off-after-suspected-bomb-is-found-1-8405927
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:18, archived)
seems a bit excessive, couldn't you have just left some fish in an airvent or sutin?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:43, archived)