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Last Jedi
Sack of purest Bantha poodoo, worse than Phantom Menace.

I rest my case.
(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 14:58, archived)

b3ta.com/search/talk?q=%22you+fucking+stupid+fucking+cunt%22
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 14:59, archived)
just sayin' like

(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:06, archived)
Who fucking asked you?
Jesus. These cunts make me fucking sick to my fucking stomach.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:00, archived)
It's all go, today!

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:02, archived)
k

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:03, archived)
Which paedo are you again?

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:04, archived)
I haven't seen it, but I do have some tasty spoilers

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:04, archived)
braw! have chips with that

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:05, archived)
No. U r.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:08, archived)
huh?

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:05, archived)
Cheers

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:08, archived)
Cheers

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:08, archived)
Cheers

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:09, archived)
What did Mark Kermode think, I only watch stuff he tells me is good and then I regurgitate most of his review verbatim to the people I work with
They don't know.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:13, archived)
he thinks Hummel is a stupid fucking stupid cunt

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:14, archived)
You fucking stupid fucking nerd cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:15, archived)
No.
Wrong.
Next.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:37, archived)
Best of the best thread.
Chris Penn, huh? He was fat.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 14:38, archived)
chris penne arrabiata

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 14:40, archived)
A life as a C-list name, then death by fatness.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 14:40, archived)
the original jonah hill

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 14:41, archived)
Deep and chris penn even

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 14:44, archived)
Not only a quality pun, but a quality seasonal pun.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 14:47, archived)
I'm so ready for christmas it hurts sometimes

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 14:49, archived)
Father knew Lloyd George

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 14:55, archived)
It were a different time then
when people knew people
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 14:56, archived)
Valium, morphine, marijuana and an elevated level of codeine
I suppose there are worse ways to go
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 14:58, archived)
There's some upset because a few empty shops in town that have put anti-homeless boards in the closed shop fronts.
Apparently it's heartless at this difficult cold time. If they were on fire they'd be warmer?

What could we set on fire to improve your life? What are you upset about?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:23, archived)
The roof

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:28, archived)
Let the mothefuckers burn

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:35, archived)
my christmas pudding

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:31, archived)
Figgi puddi

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:36, archived)
9/11

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:33, archived)
Bloody england.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:36, archived)
My heart

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:34, archived)
Gaviscon

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:36, archived)
I'm upset because being righteous is so draining
I dunno how Corbyn followers do it.
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:34, archived)
I think you've muddled up being righteous and being a prick
an easy mistake to make, but there are subtle differences
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:37, archived)
^ She's looked at life, from both sides now.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:12, archived)
Look, most homeless are lost causes.
Better we lose a few with potential to save us the hassle of the scum. The sooner you see that the better.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:37, archived)
it's a numbers game, really

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:50, archived)
same goes for old people.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:39, archived)
I have to have my photograph taken at work today
I don't want to have my photograph taken at work today
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:35, archived)
Cut your own head off.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:37, archived)
If she wanted to shout Allahu Akbar too, probably best to do it beforehand

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:57, archived)
Tasteful nudes or filth?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:41, archived)
I have met the photographer before so who knows what he might be able to talk me into

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:46, archived)
Is it Robert Mapplethorpe?

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:49, archived)
We were told to put photo avatars onto our internal IM system
So I made one in Paint. I have never been questioned about this.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:04, archived)
it's because that is exactly what you look like to everyone

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:17, archived)

i.imgur.com/cMoCaXz.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:20, archived)
that's his orgasm face

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:22, archived)
You're probably right
i.imgur.com/2FpRRMq.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:24, archived)
Onion with a beard

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:31, archived)
rude

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:41, archived)
i no i no it's serious

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:47, archived)
shallot power

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:49, archived)
should have stuck your orgasm face on it

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:19, archived)
I did

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:25, archived)
+Cos if you liked it then you

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:28, archived)
They snapped mine the second I got in the building for my new job.
A mixture of hat hair and disorientation makes me look like a pissed tramp.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 12:01, archived)
Ed Sheeran

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:38, archived)
My sex

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:41, archived)
Brexit

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:42, archived)
Muhammad

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:46, archived)
the bridges on which I walk on

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:48, archived)
Teh Quo!!!

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:58, archived)
Mushrooms

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:50, archived)
Is that an answer to both questions?

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:24, archived)
y

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:25, archived)
This is a fucking shit thread

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:46, archived)
hey, at least you tried, buddy

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:47, archived)
set fire to it

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 11:50, archived)
I'm hoping someone asks if we're ready for xmas, I need to update my spreadsheet

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 12:13, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 6:43, archived)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 6:50, archived)
cheers

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 7:03, archived)
Cheers

(Tha D O Z, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 7:07, archived)
cheers

(I helped save b3ta! H.B.Mupps, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 7:44, archived)
cheers

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 9:01, archived)
cheers

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 9:38, archived)
Alright

(Tha D O Z, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 7:07, archived)
alright

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 7:24, archived)
m'alright

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 9:01, archived)
Morning Grrrmachine
Knocking off for Christmas today.
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 7:22, archived)
knocking one out, I hope

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 7:25, archived)
Certainly wouldn't recommend knocking up

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 8:37, archived)
is your wife really suffering this time around?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 8:47, archived)
She's been off work since about the 10th week due to vomiting.
Are you going to have any more?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 8:52, archived)
No chance. One's fun but we're barely coping as it is.
Doubling all that would bring death on us all.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 9:12, archived)
Morning grrry

(I helped save b3ta! H.B.Mupps, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 7:44, archived)
alright mupps

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 7:48, archived)
Yeah, what of it?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 7:44, archived)
this morning looked at you funny

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 7:48, archived)
I'll take this morning out in the car park and give it a damn good thrashing.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 7:51, archived)
Feels more like an extension of last night, really.
I seem to be missing a crucial "night's sleep" stage today.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 8:07, archived)
same here
I've been completely drained for over two weeks now. Existence no longer has any meaning.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 8:11, archived)
Hi

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 8:45, archived)
hail and well met

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 8:47, archived)
The mood is right, the spirit's up
We're here this morning and that's enough
Simply having a wonderful christmastime
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 8:53, archived)
show me your clopper, plz

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 8:55, archived)
like what you see?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 9:03, archived)
It's okay, nothing special

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 9:07, archived)
moooooooooorning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 9:38, archived)
broadie

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 9:52, archived)
Morning Grr
Isn't great to see people being wankers about the Big Issue.

Punching down is not witty or clever, especially half the way you pricks do it.
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 9:51, archived)
^homeless and upset

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:03, archived)
go on punch him

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:04, archived)
Give it a go
I collect teeth in my hobo sack from pricks like you
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:05, archived)
ok

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:15, archived)
He's an internet hardman

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:21, archived)
^ looks for hard men on the internet

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:24, archived)
No, but it's so EASY

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:04, archived)
You're right, people have been making fun of the disadvantaged for too long here.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:31, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpR1yNytFn0&
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:08, archived)
That's art

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:10, archived)
I love it

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 10:24, archived)
Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:59, archived)

machine gun +an intelligent sex doll
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:00, archived)
it won't be after I've finished with it!

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:12, archived)
Your sperm lowers IQ?
I ain't swallowing that
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:31, archived)
disgusting

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:38, archived)
Your sperm level 42?
*lindups*
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 16:21, archived)
*bowers*

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 16:31, archived)
i have that on a jumper

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:01, archived)
knitted?

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:13, archived)
no, i never made it

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:34, archived)
hold tight, asznee (my brudda) he's got the pumpy (big ting)

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:03, archived)
^ducking

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:13, archived)
I have to threaten my son to stop singing that, he was on a 28 kill streak on cod and all I could hear was man's not hot as he ran around gunning, lols really

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:19, archived)
heh!

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:21, archived)
The apprentice loves that song,
And he's been teaching me the backpack kid dance.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:33, archived)
It's on the jukebox in my local

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:38, archived)
That backpack thing is a taunt now in the game fortnite

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:47, archived)
What is this gibberish?

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 16:23, archived)
Yeah, skidika-pap-pap

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 16:38, archived)
Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale.

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:04, archived)
that's lunch sorted

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:09, archived)
amen

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:13, archived)
You can shoot up me any time eh phwooar

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:12, archived)
cor!

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:14, archived)
Machine gunt, more like.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:15, archived)
I wish

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:17, archived)
Machine gun jubblies?

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:22, archived)
maybe

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:36, archived)
right

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:28, archived)
+ side of Jesus Christ

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:36, archived)
backside more like
lol
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:38, archived)
lol
he loves it
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:39, archived)
Take this....this is my body
Man, that's so hot
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 16:06, archived)
Hi mate.
Can i borrow it.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:33, archived)
sure

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:36, archived)
You love introducing blond Germans to your shaft?

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:40, archived)
shaft is a bit generous
more a stub
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:42, archived)
Still no idea what "I'll kiss your fucking dalmatian" means

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:45, archived)
old reference to the fire service

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:48, archived)
I guess

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:48, archived)
maybe he just wanted to kiss a dog

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 16:21, archived)
fire stations would traditionally have a dalmatian
they were carriage dogs, trained to run alongside the horse-drawn fire carts
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 15:59, archived)
Fire carts sound wholly redundant and dangerous, tbh

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 16:47, archived)
they are redundant now
as most vehicles have engines
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 17:00, archived)
and aren't on fire...

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 17:16, archived)
Cor blimey
thanks
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 17:03, archived)
Come on now... Let's get some momentum going!
How is your workplace trying to squeeze out some festive cheer, this last working week?
Are they Christmas ready?

I watched a show on All4 last night about artificially intelligent sex dolls.
She had a Scottish accent. It was very weird.
What's the last weird thing you watched?
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 13:47, archived)
I can't go to my kid's christmas performance tonight because my manager booked meetings for the team all afternoon
because HE'S not free later because he's fucking off skiing in Austria tomorrow.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 13:49, archived)
My music teacher once tried to wheedle sympathy out of the class
by going on about how cold he was without his jacket, which he'd lost during a weekend skiing jag to Austria.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 13:51, archived)
What are they performing?
Have you seen any rehearsals?
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:05, archived)
they're barely 2, I doubt it's anything too complex
she can barely managed the Hokey Cokey
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:08, archived)
thats ok then. They won't know either way...

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:16, archived)
Is this a thinly disguised way of asking whether we're ready for Christmas?
I saw the trailer for that progamme about the sex dolls. You'd think that, with all the special effects puppetry they can do these days, they'd be able to make a fully human-looking face.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 13:49, archived)
I read a reddit thread about sex dolls
and one enthusiast was saying that it doesn't really matter how lifelike they look or feel; they're still a cold hunk of rubber and you have to warm them up first, and that's the part that ultimately leaves you unsatisfied cos they're no fun to spoon.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 13:52, archived)
Yes, reproducing orifices is easy but reproducing the feel of a living human body is infinitely harder.
I saw a TV documentary about sex dolls a while ago that talked about male sex dolls for women, which you were supposed to warm up in the bath but that apparently weighed so much that the average woman would be unable to lift one by herself.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 13:54, archived)
skiers can buy those little heat sticks that you snap like glowsticks
that you bung in your gloves to keep your appendages warm. Maybe they should offer those to the sexdoll community?

Snap a stick, shove it up a hole, then wait 3mins. Voila, your synthetic cunt is as toasty as as freshly baked muffin, tuck in.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 13:58, archived)
I'm not convinced.
The chuff would be nice and warm but the rest of her body would still be cold and rubbery. Maybe market it to necrophiliacs.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:06, archived)
the chuffs were removable and washable... They looked like pink Alien mouths

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:07, archived)
Kind of like Fleshlights, I imagine.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:09, archived)
can you slot them back in at 90 degrees
so that it feels like you're fucking a chink?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:15, archived)
They look VERY young.
This old man was sitting in some woods with one and stroking her (head) hair.
He has a wife... She hates the dolls inside.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:06, archived)
summat to do with the uncanny valley innit

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:28, archived)
your valley is uncanny

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:53, archived)
dunno

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 13:50, archived)
Scottish accents are well sexy.

(Tha D O Z, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 13:58, archived)
^ wanks himself to the Krankies

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 13:59, archived)
We all get to fuck the week before christmas, it's quite good fun but I think things might feel a bit awkward when we come back to work in the new year

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:00, archived)
especially when you're self-employed

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:02, archived)
I'm self employing as I type this

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:08, archived)
^ Santa Claus
Comes once a year.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:09, archived)
but that's the good thing about working in an animal shelter
they'll either be adopted or destroyed by the time things get awkward
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:09, archived)
I don't watch a lot of television.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:11, archived)
Then what do you point your dick at??

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:27, archived)
me

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:30, archived)
+cca

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:41, archived)
M E C C A
E
C
C
A
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:44, archived)
mecca

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:38, archived)
You don't want Momentum mate
They'll come to your party, call everyone who was there before arseholes, force people out who they don't want to be there, and endlessly bang on about their leader like he is the second coming.
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 14:59, archived)
Stick a scale model of the Eiffel Tower down your japseye, it's 12:03!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 12:03, archived)
k done, now what?

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 12:05, archived)
zut alors!

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 12:05, archived)
Don't remember this on Taskmaster
Maybe next series
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 12:09, archived)
But why scale models?

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 12:27, archived)
Scaled *up*, if that wasn't clear.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 12:43, archived)
He loves reptiles
I mean he really loves reptiles
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 12:50, archived)
yep

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 12:42, archived)
We're all grumpy old men trapped in the past
What do you do to stay fresh? Are you up to date on modern culture? Or is it all a load of toss compared to back in the day?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:19, archived)
Alright

(Tha D O Z, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:22, archived)
you're old hat m8

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:46, archived)
Some things are better
some things are worse
but bumholes stay the same
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:26, archived)
I dunno, old bumholes were au naturel, with all the hairs and that
whereas new bumholes get bleached and waxed until they look like kenneth william's mouth
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:31, archived)
It's a fair point, I've not thought this through

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:33, archived)
I'd say Twitter...
Seems to keep up with what's FRESH and HIP and TRENDING
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:27, archived)
^hashfag

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:46, archived)
Mostly just hang around school gates and follow the girls as they walk out
so I can hear the way young people talk and what they're interested in and stuff, y'know.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:28, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyN_d28-sfw&feature=youtu.be&t=32s
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:49, archived)
I'm more of a trendsetter than a follower

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:33, archived)
Irish setter more like, bollock-sniffer

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:49, archived)
I just live vicariously through my offspring.
Gonna spend Christmas day watching unboxing videos on YouTube, instead of opening any actual presents.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:34, archived)
youtube has replaced family values

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:50, archived)
not sure

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:34, archived)
just go with the flow

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:50, archived)
I listen to Pato's Banter and study the Blade.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:44, archived)
Phillips Ladyshave

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:44, archived)
^Wesley Snipes apologist

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:53, archived)
#noir

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:44, archived)
+idea

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:46, archived)
+wich

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:46, archived)
+other noir based puns

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:46, archived)
I like a lot of new music.
I like a lot of young girls
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:48, archived)
they told me you smell

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:52, archived)
alright Jimmy Page

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 11:59, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 7:28, archived)
Carol Vorderman's Magnificent Arse

(Tha D O Z, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 7:38, archived)
^up at the crack of dawn french

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 7:41, archived)
Do how

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Dec 2017, 7:41, archived)
*smokum peace pipe*

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 7:42, archived)
What's the news?
Bought a 600 bandit. Wheelie city.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:00, archived)
took me two hours to swap the spark plugs on the jag this weekend
two fucking hours. Had to remove the intake manifold and the throttle body.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:03, archived)
Ha. Ladypigs dad was a drivetrain engineer for JLR back in the TWR days.
Packaging was always the bane of their lives. The styling boys got more of a say than anyone.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:08, archived)
yer, it's mental
in the old V12s you had to drop the engine to get the rear sparks out.

Still, how's the bandit? rusty pile of shit, as usual?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:12, archived)
No mate, in surprisingly good condition.
I'll do the brakes and suspension just for peace of mind. But it's been kept well. Someone has even welded up the collector on the exhaust thst normally rusts through.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:16, archived)
nice one
decent price?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:35, archived)
850

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:48, archived)
dunno if that's good or not, but it's not a huge amount to throw at a toy
got big plans for it?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 9:22, archived)
Nah, it looks good enough stock.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Dec 2017, 9:33, archived)
Could have got a nice Seiko for that

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 9:31, archived)
U r a bandit m8 lol

(Tha D O Z, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:10, archived)
Ho dow

(I helped save b3ta! H.B.Mupps, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:00, archived)
I had their Zen Arcade album, but never really got into them

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:03, archived)
I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:14, archived)
I never really got that.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:19, archived)
I thought it would annoy someone , we'll see how it goes

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:22, archived)
You've managed to get grr

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:28, archived)
He's always annoyed

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:30, archived)
I'm just baiting mcbeef
but it's a bit too easy tbh. What's the easiest fish to catch, mongy?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:42, archived)
Bream, but they put up no right at all

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:45, archived)

ey put up no right at all ings can only get better
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 9:22, archived)
She was a couple of years below me at school, fact fans!

(Tha D O Z, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:19, archived)
people who get nostalgic about the '60s need the shit kicked out of them

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:22, archived)
Intubate me with a pufferfish, it's Tuesday.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:14, archived)
I bet at least one jap fellow has tried sounding with a pufferfish

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:23, archived)
The Romans used to stuff pufferfishes up people's bums as punishment for adultery.
So there's that.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:25, archived)
pooferfish, more like!

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:36, archived)
weeeeeeeeeee

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:51, archived)
agreed

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:53, archived)
^ Irishman jumping off the cliff of wishes

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 9:20, archived)
I think my cold has come back

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 8:53, archived)
this time, it's personal

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 9:04, archived)
2 cold 2 furious

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 9:11, archived)
+ hearted lover
+ on my
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 9:08, archived)
it's not like it hasn't happened before

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 9:11, archived)
you thought it was a gonner but the cold came back
it just wouldn't stay awaaaaay
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 9:23, archived)
Morning morning Tuesday yeah?

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 9:09, archived)
sounds oasis-y
I'm out
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 9:24, archived)
willy willy

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 9:12, archived)
It is only by following your deepest instinct that you can lead a rich life, and if you let your fear of consequence prevent you from following your deepest instinct, then your life will be safe, expedient and thin.

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 9:47, archived)
fuck me, it's chilly today
More laundry based optimism, today
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 9:57, archived)
getting your tighty whities a little more brighties?

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 10:04, archived)
you know it

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 10:08, archived)
add a pinch of cinnamon to give it that Christmas smell

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 10:10, archived)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 10:12, archived)
Let not the cares of the world you deter, gents.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 10:26, archived)
Blumpkin spice.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 10:29, archived)
Are we all watching Royston Vasey then?

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 22:10, archived)
No soz

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 22:36, archived)
Shit no.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Dec 2017, 22:58, archived)
Yes m8

(Tha D O Z, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 23:08, archived)
Inside no 9
Are you special?
(SgtNobbleSocks, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 23:50, archived)
not seen

(I helped save b3ta! brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 1:29, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 19 Dec 2017, 6:08, archived)
Yo

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Dec 2017, 20:45, archived)
windy
I saw a good film last night. It was called Buzzard, it's what napoleon dynamite would've been if it wasn't intentionally lolwakki and shit and the main character was an apathetic waster.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 20:45, archived)
Have you seen 'Beyond the Black Rainbow'?
It might be up your street, or it might not.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 20:55, archived)
Sounds ok.
You might like Safety Not Guaranteed.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 21:04, archived)
*scribbles furiously*
*downloads*
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 21:09, archived)
It's got 'the moody one' from Parks and Rec in it.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 21:27, archived)
Ron Swanson? I've never watched Parks and Rec except for brief excerpts on YouTube but he seems like a good candidate for the moody one.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 21:44, archived)
Bumrush the show

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 21:05, archived) 


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| $$/   \  $$| $$  | $$| $$  | $$| $$  | $$| $$  | $$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$      | $$$$$$$/|  $$$$$$/|  $$$$$$$|  $$$$$$$| $$    |  $$$$$$/|  $$$$$$/|  $$$$$$/|  $$$$$$/| $$  | $$|  $$$$$$/|  $$$$$$/| $$      | $$ | $$ | $$
|__/     \__/|__/  |__/|__/  |__/|__/  |__/|__/  |__/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/      |_______/  \______/  \_______/ \____  $$|__/     \______/  \______/  \______/  \______/ |__/  |__/ \______/  \______/ |__/      |__/ |__/ |__/
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      /$$  | $$                                                                                                      
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      \______/

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 21:36, archived)
hwey

(SgtNobbleSocks, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 21:40, archived)
hey girls

(SgtNobbleSocks, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 21:40, archived)
Watching the league of gentlemen

(Tha D O Z, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 22:08, archived)
one week to go
how do you celebrate Rod Serling's birthday?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 15:46, archived)
wanking

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:01, archived)
isn't that how you celebrate every day?

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:05, archived)
No.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:06, archived)
Shoving my arm up an Emu's arsehole

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:07, archived)
is that this year's turducken?

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:09, archived)
Sounds forrin.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:24, archived)
chicken inside a duck inside a turkey

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:27, archived)
now it's a party!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:33, archived)
a medieval party

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:45, archived)
Mmm, turd...

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 17:37, archived)
quarter circle forward + punch

(I helped save b3ta! brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 18:57, archived)
Watch videos of people riding the Tower of Terror
Possibly the best theme park ride there is.
Edit: I ripped off a story from the Twilight Zone for my GCSE Eng Lag. Got a B. Thanks Rod!
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:08, archived)
i like the dragon khan in fort aventura myself
i ripped off a horror story, but i can't for the life of me remember who wrote it
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:16, archived)
Just watched the video of that
Nice corkscrew action!
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:20, archived)
i managed to go there the week after the park opened
cost £25 back then, dread to think what they'll be charging these days
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:21, archived)
€47
So doubled.
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:24, archived)
bloody hell!

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:28, archived)
farting in a hooker's mouth

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 17:58, archived)
What rugby team does he play for....oh hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 18:31, archived)
alright chuck berry

(I helped save b3ta! brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 18:58, archived)
alright

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 19:31, archived)
fuck Rod Serling

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 19:32, archived)
I think we've established that he's thoroughly dead.
Don't see why you feel the need to desecrate his remains.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 19:46, archived)
+ in the cunt piece

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 19:47, archived)
Right in the fucken pouch, m8

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 20:44, archived)
I like the episode about the avid bookworm who survives the nuclear holocaust.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 20:09, archived)
Baby if you've got to go away
I don't think I can take the pain
Won't you stay another day?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:49, archived)
Yeah k

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:52, archived)
Oh don't leave me alone like this
Don't say it's the final kiss
Won't you stay another day?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:05, archived)
Disgusting

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:06, archived)
I'm not buying Mortimer's story that it's about his dead brother

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:09, archived)
It's about a man he raped and murdered

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:10, archived)
well that makes this verse make a lot more sense:
I touch your face while you are sleeping
And hold your hand
Don't understand what's going on
Good times we had return
To haunt me
Though it's for you
All that I do seem to be wrong
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:17, archived)
Go maim yourself with a potato

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:22, archived)
is this official nhs advice for those suffering from mental illness?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:26, archived)
If we get through one more night
If we get through one more night
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:53, archived)
I'm appalled that Xmas time is taken as carte blanche to broadcast the word "faggot" on the radio.
And not in the context of a nice meal or a bundle of sticks.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:54, archived)
What other way is there?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:56, archived)
Search me, but it must be rude, as my son was telling me last night that he'd learnt a new swear word,
an F word, not f-u-c-k, but f-a-g-g-o-t. Must be something filthy.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:59, archived)
Did he already know slut? I had to tell my boy what junk was

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:04, archived)
No one cleans behind our fridge, so he must know what a slut is.
Not sure I'm comfortable discussing promiscuity with him, he's still of the opinion that sex is something gross that he wants nothing to do with.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:08, archived)
I've heard a version say blaggard, and any version without Shane is rubbish

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:58, archived)
I do hope that a lo-fi, whimsical cover version is used for next year's John Lewis advert.
Suitably bowdlerised, of course.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:01, archived)
Have you been listening to Radio 3?
'Fagott' is German for 'bassoon'.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:59, archived)
+Shatner's

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:00, archived)
Eberhard Jessop-Jessop's Concerto in Bb major for Shatner's Bassoon.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:04, archived)
I'll bet mcbeef has some Cake stories to tell.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:09, archived)
He's the kind of guy who has no time to have qualms about saying 'faggot' on the radio.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:11, archived)
He's a good looking rebel who doesn't play by the rules.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:26, archived)
He's a flebel without a cause.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:27, archived)
+ On the bozboz

(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:12, archived)
^ upset faggot

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:00, archived)
maybe
show me something first ;) x
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:00, archived)
Nah, gonna be an hero

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:01, archived)
alright wanna-be-Terence-Trent-D'Arby

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:13, archived)
Cock shit wank fart poo

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:27, archived)
Knob plop bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:32, archived)
Mornington Crescent!

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:32, archived)
nitty gritty

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:36, archived)
^ listening to the boy from the big bad shitty

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:47, archived)
jam plops.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 15:04, archived)
yes it does

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 15:29, archived)
come on m8 I'm trying to get a serious discussion going here

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:38, archived)
Shit bollocks wank fart

(Tha D O Z, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:48, archived)
i only just got here

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 15:00, archived)
Alright slashtalk how's it going lol

(Tha D O Z, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 12:57, archived)
trying to work out what the best christmas sweets are
so I can gorge myself senseless next week
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:00, archived)
Toffee Poppets

(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:01, archived)
Turkish delight.
Poss. GS
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:06, archived)
After Eights obvs

(Tha D O Z, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:11, archived)
hot buttered bum

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:15, archived)
lol, bum

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:19, archived)
wanna cyber?

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:27, archived)
Y

(Tha D O Z, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:30, archived)
Bags of poo

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:31, archived)
Sugared almonds

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:34, archived)
Tits

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:36, archived)
Sugared Tits
Almonds
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:42, archived)
a big sweaty cock

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:45, archived)
giant fizzy cola bottles

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:55, archived)
I am bored at work.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:32, archived)
What happened to the 18th edition being released? Has it been pushed back

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:33, archived)
I thought it was January 2018 for review and then July 2018 for introduction.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:43, archived)
Ah ok , I've not been keeping up on the news

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:45, archived)
Yeah, so it'll be Jan 2019 when we'll all have to have got it,
Gives sparks 6 months. Depending on how long ago you did 17th will mean whether you do it all again or just a short course on the new stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:50, archived)
morning
how does it feel, to treat me like you do?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 7:42, archived)
New Order?
Poo Ordure more like!!!!
(Tha D O Z, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 7:45, archived)
Joy Division's originally planned debut album was to be named "Warsaw", fact fans

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:23, archived)
Well, they were called Warsaw at that point but changed their name because there was a local band called Warsaw Pakt

(Tha D O Z, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:30, archived)
but everyone knows THAT, pakt fans

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:49, archived)
Get your first 70 minute album of Pakt Order sent to home or work for just £1 when you use code 'b3ta' here

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:37, archived)
Gives me a stonk-on every time.
Last night I watched Beyond the Black Rainbow. Hands-down the trippiest damn film I've seen in my whole life.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:07, archived)
sounds like the care bears grew into an emo phase

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:24, archived)
Wife and daughter have gone off on holiday with her mum leaving me alone for a week.
I feel like Macaulay Culkin in that film - Richie Rich.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:14, archived)
they haven't gone TO a destination, they've gone AWAY
from you.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:24, archived)
failed marriage lols

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:26, archived)
I've never really thought about it

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:54, archived)
thinkings not your strong point

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:54, archived)
Shit

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:58, archived)
+on a dog's tits, it's 8:58!

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:03, archived)
You're not still hungover, are you?

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:11, archived)
I am
But I got pissed again last night. Turns out it's the 4th beer that cured the hangover and probably number 7 that got me the new one.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:42, archived)
i feel nothing

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:05, archived)
welcome to my world

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:07, archived)
and how does nothing feel about that?
hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:13, archived)
oh!

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:24, archived)
yes, I'm afraid we had to amputate both your arms

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:15, archived)
How's your third party wank machine business coming along?

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:17, archived)
I did my best,
I just couldn't get past all the hair.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:44, archived)
feels like heaven

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:05, archived)
he' ven

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:08, archived)
peter hook is 61 now, blows my mind

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:11, archived)
no need m8

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:15, archived)
Caroline Aherne isn't

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:19, archived)
Ooh, you edgemeister, you.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:26, archived)
people being dead is well lol

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:28, archived)
Well, harold ramis did write a couple of comedies about it

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:31, archived)
yeah but he's dead too, lol

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:51, archived)
serves him right

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:58, archived)
That's where writing comedies about the dead'll get you.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:59, archived)
dunno, Peter Jackson had his hand in horror comedy "The Frighteners"
and he ain't dead yet
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:31, archived)
Yeah, but he had to stick around for long enough to do 'Lord of the Rings'.
He could have carked it before doing 'The Hobbit', though; that wouldn't have been a massive tragedy.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:35, archived)
I treat everyone with the same level of contempt.
You are not special.
(SgtNobbleSocks, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:15, archived)
gunnery sergeant fartman more like!!

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:28, archived)
Stupid cricket cunts ffs

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:30, archived)
What happened?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:41, archived)
If there are a lot of them, they can be really noisy at night

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:43, archived)
Britain's sports team performed just like they always do, and Brits are understandably shocked and upset

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:43, archived)
Lost by an innings , that's the ashes over

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:48, archived)
It was pretty much over after the first test.
We're shit abroad because we can't tweak the wicket to favour us.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:03, archived)
Oh yeah, everyone will forget about it when we are at trent bridge in the summer and the balls swinging

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:09, archived)
lol, "balls swinging"

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:11, archived)

trent biffin's
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:19, archived)
Filthy
But in a good way.
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:59, archived)
"spank me daddy" filthy, or covered in mud filthy?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:27, archived)
Soul tainted filthy

(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:36, archived)
How does it make YOU feel?
morning
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:22, archived)
no-one's ever asked me how I feel about it

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:28, archived)
Was/Am meant to be going to a wedding in January
At Cameron House.

Given there are currently 45 fire fighters trying to put the flames out, not sure that'll be happening now.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:24, archived)

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