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Profile for PhoenixBlend:
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phoenix blend

e-mail - [email protected]

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Recent front page messages:

The worse song in the world?

..Baha humbug.
(Fri 30th May 2003, 15:38, More)

Best answers to questions:

» The Onosecond

A while ago.. I'm meeting up with a girl that I met in the local club while quite drunk. The only way that I knew who it was I was ment to say 'Hello again!' was to go to the bar and not look at anyone till I had a tap on the shoulder.

I get a tap and spin round to come to face with a stunning girl with a body to die for - not believing my luck we retire to table and spend hours in great convo.

Later she goes to the bar and I use the opportunity to start bragging to my mates - being very expressive about both her looks and how it is now my lifes mission to sleep with her. I press send just as she returns and look at the message 'Sent to Hannah (fit girl)'.
I have no choice but to wait till she receives it and snatch it before she does. Some how I manage this and blag a cover.

She accepted my half baked story and we went on long enough for me to find out that she is a crazy ego mad bitch - she's still my fuk buddy now! yay!
apologies for lent and birth
(Thu 26th May 2005, 16:26, More)

» Jobsworths

I was doing some shopping for dinner at my local co-op.

After my chicken, veg, etc. had been bleeped through I asked for some rizlas.
'Have you any ID?' asks the spotty twunt opposite.
'no' says I.
I didn't realise you needed Id to buy rizzlas but apparently so.
Anyway, I paid with my CREDIT CARD and DROVE to the PUB to have a pint and buy some over priced B&H!
(Sun 15th May 2005, 22:11, More)

» Slang Survey

My boss
My boss is very exuberant (spelling?) and comes out with amusing turns off phrases.
Here are a few I can remember:

Beef curtains - Female sexual organs
Fanny flaps - ditto
Noards - Breasts
Double bagger - some one so ugly you would have to where a bag your self incase hers fell off
Faff - Fit-as-Fuck female - also faffy

Also my PA came out with a good one about our clients in general - unfortantly just as a customer answered the phone to me:
"Customers are amoeba brained results of animal buggery"

oh and orals sex - biting the monkey
(Tue 3rd Feb 2004, 20:09, More)