» Losing Your Virginity

it sounds made up but
when I was 16 I holdidayed on the small scottish island of mull with my family, whilst there I was seduced by a 35 year old primary school teacher. When I look back on it it is a bit weird, she used to teach primary 7's (12 year olds) and said she'd wanted to do 'this' for a while. Having just split up with ehr husband it seemed now was the time.
So.... after making her intentions clear to my 20 year old sister and my dad who unanimously agreed that I should 'go for it', she waited outside the barndance (small scottish island remember), took me to the abbey graveyard and made me a man on the gravestones of 16th century kings.
this was in april and was freezing, so it wasn't the best experience of my life, but noone ever believes me anyway.
oh...and she looked like steph scully. yay me.
btw - this is the abbey www.iona.org.uk/abbey/main.htm
aicmfp
(Thu 3rd Mar 2005, 21:57, More)

» When animals attack...

wasps
are merciless killers. just ask an 8 year old me with 20 of the bastards stuck in my hair just for throwing a rock *near* a nest. my hero grandad went and poured petrol down there and blew their bloody doors off though. ha.
malicious little buggers.
(Mon 6th Jun 2005, 17:51, More)

» Mugged

The Disappointed
i got mugged for a tin of curry and they didn't even take it.
Imagine the scene - Harold Road in Hyde Park, Leeds, on my doorstep and some scallies approach

"ey mate, give us your stuff"

"well... i don't have anything" ( I really didn't, the shop is 100 yards away)

"what's that in your pocket then?"

"it's a tin of curry.."

"don't fuck about mate"

"well... i have nothing to give you"

at which point the friendly neighbourhood crack dealers come out from across the road having heard the altercation... Scally panics, breaks my nose and runs off with his gang.

On a positive note however I did make the WPC's day as up until then it had been - and i quote - "really boring".

No problem.. glad to be of service.

Anyway, to anyone that is thinking of moving to the Hyde Park area, it is really lovely, just don't go too far down the Harold/Thornville way, the 7/7 bombers lived a couple of streets away, and it is a -and i quote again - "crime hotspot"..
Moving to the Hessles in 2 weeks though, woo yay.

edit: I've just noticed a few other stories about Hyde Park on here, I'd just like to repeat what I was saying, it is a lovely place, just avoid Burley Park, Harolds/Thornville area, in fact anywehere past Queen's Road, the park at night is actually quite nice albeit for some harmless vagrants that come and talk to you, and avoid woodhouse, that gets reaaaallly sketchy.
That is all.
(Sat 17th Jun 2006, 4:12, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
so you can come on its screaming face
(Wed 7th Dec 2005, 13:25, More)

» I was drunk when I bought this

another crappy student story
I don't know how many people know this but newsagents return the papers and magazines they don't sell to the publishers, they get picked up at around 5am every morning. but between the hours of closing and 5am they are kept in an (in a Leeds Co-Op's) unlocked box. a gold mine for drunk students, it was on the way home so we'd ritually wake up in the morning to find our lounge filled with a selection of papers and magazines. thing is, it was a different one gettign returned each day so one week we might have 50 copies (literally) of Uncut, the next week 50 copies of Angling Weekly.
they lock the box now in case you're wondering all of you LS6 folks.

traffic cones... psh
(Mon 13th Jun 2005, 19:35, More)