» Fire!

Grilled cheese sammy-wich... OF DOOM!
Steps to cause extreme levels of Doom.

1. Turn on stove (high)
2. Place skillet on element
3. Apply a slice of buttered bread, then cheese, then a second slice of bread
4. Allow the cheese to melt sticking the two bread pieces to stick together
5. Attempt the "flip" trick with the skillet
6. Allow your creation to land on the now red hot element
7. Shout obscenities in amazement as the sandwich bursts into flames instantly
8. Beat the flamming mass with skillet
9. Realize your mistake of pounding the food into (and under) the element, making it impossible to smother or remove
10. Reach for baking soda, and extinguish flames
11. Cover up all evidence of occurence..
(Thu 3rd Nov 2005, 12:24, More)

» Booze Related Disasters

Well.
My worst booze related disaster was when I froze to a dumpster..

It was a loooong hard night of heavy liver ass-kicking. And we were walking some reasoablby hot-ass chicks home from the bar. It was about -25ºC. I was the one unlucky enough to not get in the action but my friend was telling a different story inside. So in my drunken stupidity, I waited outside on a dumpster, passing out. I awoke to find a nice layer of frost on my eyebrows and hat. I then proceeded to un-freeze myself and go inside. Once inside I was giving off that same strange fog that freezers do when you open them... So yea to conclude. Dont ever-ever drink and sit on dumpsters... ever.

On another totally related topic.

I was at a bush party, and my friend's girlfriend got mad at him. So, I tried to talk to her to fix things. But this chick was nagging me about everything so I told her to make like a tree and fuck off. this made my friend's old lady pretty pissed so she ran him over with a car.

I still feel like its my fault.
(Fri 19th Mar 2004, 7:05, More)