» Stupid Tourists

So
I'm standing in RIGHT IN front of Edinburgh castle.

English (not American) people drive up in a car. One of them leans out and shouts to me.

'EEYA, WHEYARS EMBRA CARSOL?'

It's right there, I say

'OH' they say

'ISABITSMALLINNIT?'

*blank look*

It's all there is, I'm afraid

And then they drove off. Delightful.
(Tue 12th Jul 2005, 17:18, More)

» Have you ever been dumped in a spectacular way?

I lost her. But I found Kenny Rogers
I was on the phone to her. And then for some reason, my granny comes to the door. I decided to put it on loudspeaker so I can still hear her. Granny comes in the door:

'Ian, let's not go out anymore'

Awkward silences all round.
(Thu 17th Jun 2004, 18:56, More)

» Have you ever been rude to a celebrity?

Me and some friends noticed that crap 'band' Speedway
at the Snow Patrol gig in the QMU. So we waved at them and shouted as if to get their attention. They saw us and looked down smiling and giving us the thumbs up (super cool).

Us: Not you, behind you!

Them: Oh

You see, Eugene Kelly was standing behind them .

And that's the end of that.
(Thu 15th Apr 2004, 16:45, More)

» Irrational Fears

My dad
is completely terrified of loose buttons. They make him sick, like, actually sick.

Its fine if they're sewn onto a shirt or a coat or something like that, but show him a loose one, especially with threads coming out and its Vomitville, USA.

Why the hell would you be scared of buttons?
(Tue 27th Jan 2004, 21:35, More)