» Family Holidays

Travel Sickness.
I've got a cast iron stomach, unless it involves boats or cars.

One trip when I was 8, involved a long car journey. About half way there, I told my Dad I felt sick. My Dad told me "You'll be OK in a minute", somehow thinking that would ease any problems I had.
30 seconds later, I was sick. A direct hit on our poor spaniels head. The dog looked quite put out by this, with sick dripping off of it's head, but managed to grab some dignity by slowly licking it's mouth as the sick ran down.

This immediately caused another wretch. This caused a loop until my Dad pulled over and he was spot on. I was alright then!
(Thu 2nd Aug 2007, 17:50, More)

» Have you ever been rude to a celebrity?

Some bint from Hollyoaks
Was at a club and saw some blonde bit from Hollyoaks. I have no idea who she was but apparantely she was a bit rude to people.
Anyway it was Christmas time, I was very drunk indeed and I got some measuring spoons in my cracker, so I became very threatening with them shouting menacingly "Spoons! SPOOOONS!! YOU CAN'T HAVE MY SPOOOOONS!!!" I think I scared her. I enjoyed that night.
Wish I could remember who she was though. They all look the same.
(Wed 14th Apr 2004, 19:28, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You

Had to visit Granny..aged 8
Who lived 200 miles away, near Stafford.
Now in the town I lived in at the time, there was a Stafford Road. I asked why we couldn't just go down that road as it would clearly be quicker. I was told that we had to go the scenic route and tell Granny about it.
Fair enough, until I went to visit Granny on my BMX, down Stafford Road, only to end up near a dual carriageway with no signs for Stafford (obviously). And I got told off for going near the dual carriageway!!

Edit : I was aged 8...not granny ;)
(Wed 14th Jan 2004, 23:34, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

Friday nights are now
a chance to catch up on some sleep.
(Thu 28th Oct 2004, 13:18, More)

» Mini Cabs From Hell

Conspiracy!!
A few months ago my mate and I hailed down a cab in Birmingham. We got in and drunkenly talked about crap as you do. Then all of a sudden the taxi driver (who looked like Bin-Laden - not a general sweeping statement, he REALLY did) piped up and said menacingly "It's all the Jews fault"
My mate and I stared blankly at him as he went on to tell us about how the Jews funded Hitler and that WW2 was started by them on purpose. Oh and that Jews are dirty etc..
I thought it would be a good idea to make sure he didn't think I was Jewish so told him I was a Christian, thinking at least we have Jesus in common somewhere. Bad idea. He ranted on about how his God was true and that we would burn in hell (or wherever).
I was truly scared.
(Thu 27th May 2004, 18:12, More)