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» Personal Hygiene
Fingers In Food
I work at late-night store in a train station where shifts are long and most probably illegal.
Tensions and stress levels are always high because so many customers are so fucking self-important and usually in a rush to catch trains.
I recall the end of a particularly stressful day, where I'd managed to slice my fingers on plastic sandwich packaging, and had lots of filthy plasters all over my grubby hands which were black with filth from handling cash and products all day.
On this occasion a woman wanted to pay for a pasta salad, which is sold in a sealed plastic container, and she asked if she could have a plastic fork with it.
I helpfully told her that there was one in the box with the pasta - the forks are in a seperate compartment hidden under the sticky label. She rudely and abruptly replied "No there isn't a bloody fork in there don't you think I've already looked."
To correct her I calmly and politely poked the sticky label, revealing the fork in the seperate compartment (the food was still hygienically sealed in the box).
Then she blurted out "Er, I could have done without you sticking your fingers in my food you idiot", and I absolutely lost it.
I ripped open the pasta, delved my filthy hands into it and mixed up the pasta and lettuce leaves, said "I'll just mix it for you a little shall I", threw some down on the counter and walked off.
And I didn't even get into trouble. My manager is very understanding.
(Fri 23rd Mar 2007, 1:25, More)
Fingers In Food
I work at late-night store in a train station where shifts are long and most probably illegal.
Tensions and stress levels are always high because so many customers are so fucking self-important and usually in a rush to catch trains.
I recall the end of a particularly stressful day, where I'd managed to slice my fingers on plastic sandwich packaging, and had lots of filthy plasters all over my grubby hands which were black with filth from handling cash and products all day.
On this occasion a woman wanted to pay for a pasta salad, which is sold in a sealed plastic container, and she asked if she could have a plastic fork with it.
I helpfully told her that there was one in the box with the pasta - the forks are in a seperate compartment hidden under the sticky label. She rudely and abruptly replied "No there isn't a bloody fork in there don't you think I've already looked."
To correct her I calmly and politely poked the sticky label, revealing the fork in the seperate compartment (the food was still hygienically sealed in the box).
Then she blurted out "Er, I could have done without you sticking your fingers in my food you idiot", and I absolutely lost it.
I ripped open the pasta, delved my filthy hands into it and mixed up the pasta and lettuce leaves, said "I'll just mix it for you a little shall I", threw some down on the counter and walked off.
And I didn't even get into trouble. My manager is very understanding.
(Fri 23rd Mar 2007, 1:25, More)
» Dad Jokes
Dads...
My Dad has an awful habit of embarrassing the whole family in restaurants, usually by speaking loudly about coupons that would get us a free meal in the same restaurant.
I remember one time when we were in a Chinese restaurant and the lady offered him a hot lemon towel, to which he replied "No thank you, I'm full". That same day was my birthday, so all the waitresses were being very nice to me. Once the nice Chinese girl had gone, my Dad managed to blurt out in a very loud voice "I think she fancies you!" ... she was stood right behind him, and said "No! Noooo!"
I almost died that time.
... and my Dad's favourite joke: How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You Poke-him-on.
Oh the hilarity.
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 22:58, More)
Dads...
My Dad has an awful habit of embarrassing the whole family in restaurants, usually by speaking loudly about coupons that would get us a free meal in the same restaurant.
I remember one time when we were in a Chinese restaurant and the lady offered him a hot lemon towel, to which he replied "No thank you, I'm full". That same day was my birthday, so all the waitresses were being very nice to me. Once the nice Chinese girl had gone, my Dad managed to blurt out in a very loud voice "I think she fancies you!" ... she was stood right behind him, and said "No! Noooo!"
I almost died that time.
... and my Dad's favourite joke: How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You Poke-him-on.
Oh the hilarity.
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 22:58, More)
» People with Stupid Names
A Levels
On this years German A Level examinations (AQA) there was a character in the listening exercise called 'Willi Putz' which basically translates as "the act of wiping ones cock".
(Thu 26th Aug 2004, 23:32, More)
A Levels
On this years German A Level examinations (AQA) there was a character in the listening exercise called 'Willi Putz' which basically translates as "the act of wiping ones cock".
(Thu 26th Aug 2004, 23:32, More)