Profile for Nikfuf Eetr:
Sheffield. Boy in mans body. Size 11 shoe. Hats.
I do animation and illustration, but mainly I do being unemployed.
Have a drink on me!
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
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- a member for 20 years, 7 months and 4 days
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- has posted 11 stories and 10 replies on question of the week
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Sheffield. Boy in mans body. Size 11 shoe. Hats.
I do animation and illustration, but mainly I do being unemployed.
Have a drink on me!
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
» Foot in Mouth Syndrome
One time,
I had been commentating on a rather important football (soccer) match.
After the match, I was having a little drink with my fellow commentator type, and I called a black fella a "Fuckin* Lazy Nigge*", as you do.
Unfortunately, I still had the mic in my hand, pressed to my lips, with the red light still blazing away. I had broadcast to the whole of the Middle East! Whoopsie!
I always knew I had a wrick in me somewhere. I should get those kind of comments out early doors. No way I can lollipop myself out of this.
(Thu 22nd Apr 2004, 11:15, More)
One time,
I had been commentating on a rather important football (soccer) match.
After the match, I was having a little drink with my fellow commentator type, and I called a black fella a "Fuckin* Lazy Nigge*", as you do.
Unfortunately, I still had the mic in my hand, pressed to my lips, with the red light still blazing away. I had broadcast to the whole of the Middle East! Whoopsie!
I always knew I had a wrick in me somewhere. I should get those kind of comments out early doors. No way I can lollipop myself out of this.
(Thu 22nd Apr 2004, 11:15, More)
» How I Skive Off Work
Skiving
Boring job, scummy location, most of the staff out a lot of the day on site visits. Best way of skiving I found was to embark on a series of sympathy shags with some fat, hopeless cunt I work with.
Was awful. For almost a year he has spent all his time either groping me in desperately unsubtle ways in meetings or having awful, devaluing sex which barely lasts longer than 15 minutes.
I hate my life, but it beats doing my crap job.
(Fri 29th Apr 2005, 11:06, More)
Skiving
Boring job, scummy location, most of the staff out a lot of the day on site visits. Best way of skiving I found was to embark on a series of sympathy shags with some fat, hopeless cunt I work with.
Was awful. For almost a year he has spent all his time either groping me in desperately unsubtle ways in meetings or having awful, devaluing sex which barely lasts longer than 15 minutes.
I hate my life, but it beats doing my crap job.
(Fri 29th Apr 2005, 11:06, More)
» How I Skive Off Work
The Working Day of a Freelance Illustrator
8:30 - Alarm goes off. Press snooze to gain a few more minutes, as there's no point getting up yet, as housemates are using bathroom to prepare for their (proper) jobs.
8:35 - As above.
8:40 - As above, and repeat until approximately...
11:20 - Depending on time I climbed into bed/hangover, either a shower or read a bit in bed, then shower.
Midday - Late breakfast, fire up 'puter and check e-mails and various websites.
13:00 - Enough time has now passed since I first checked e-mails, so return to beginning of midday process. This continues at a quicker pace as I realise I have read the entire interweb at least twice already today.
14:30 - Boredom/hunger drive me from my room to the kitchen, where a lavish sandwich is prepared. This signals the start of my lunch 'hour'
16:30 - Lament the lack of new information on various websites. Lunch finishes. Feel guilty about low productivity, but this soon evaporates as Housemate #1 returns home from his job. X-box.
17:00 - Total up how much work I have to do tomorrow to catch up...vaguely panic. More X-box to ease the worries away.
17:30 - Decide to do a bit of work. But first must check e-mails for that important one that may be there.
17:45 - Housemate #2 has arrived home by now, signalling Beer o'clock.
18:00 - Working day ends.
All of this is accompanied by a soundtrack of various artists (the pain-staking selection process for which tracks to play can take up to 20 minutes) and frequent wank-breaks.
(Thu 28th Apr 2005, 15:08, More)
The Working Day of a Freelance Illustrator
8:30 - Alarm goes off. Press snooze to gain a few more minutes, as there's no point getting up yet, as housemates are using bathroom to prepare for their (proper) jobs.
8:35 - As above.
8:40 - As above, and repeat until approximately...
11:20 - Depending on time I climbed into bed/hangover, either a shower or read a bit in bed, then shower.
Midday - Late breakfast, fire up 'puter and check e-mails and various websites.
13:00 - Enough time has now passed since I first checked e-mails, so return to beginning of midday process. This continues at a quicker pace as I realise I have read the entire interweb at least twice already today.
14:30 - Boredom/hunger drive me from my room to the kitchen, where a lavish sandwich is prepared. This signals the start of my lunch 'hour'
16:30 - Lament the lack of new information on various websites. Lunch finishes. Feel guilty about low productivity, but this soon evaporates as Housemate #1 returns home from his job. X-box.
17:00 - Total up how much work I have to do tomorrow to catch up...vaguely panic. More X-box to ease the worries away.
17:30 - Decide to do a bit of work. But first must check e-mails for that important one that may be there.
17:45 - Housemate #2 has arrived home by now, signalling Beer o'clock.
18:00 - Working day ends.
All of this is accompanied by a soundtrack of various artists (the pain-staking selection process for which tracks to play can take up to 20 minutes) and frequent wank-breaks.
(Thu 28th Apr 2005, 15:08, More)
» I was drunk when I bought this
Shortly before Christmas
I became so inebriated at a party that I managed to get hit by a taxi on the way home. I twatted my face on the tarmac and blood issued forth rather juicily. At the hospital (approx. 3 in the morning) I awoke to find my housemate curled up in the chair next to my bed. Before waking her, I wandered the (deserted) corridors, and returned with a bounty of several pairs of latex gloves and some fairy light bulbs.
We then left, but not before I left a deposit for the goods. When I say 'deposit', I obviously mean 'pile of sick in corridor'.
(Thu 9th Jun 2005, 15:42, More)
Shortly before Christmas
I became so inebriated at a party that I managed to get hit by a taxi on the way home. I twatted my face on the tarmac and blood issued forth rather juicily. At the hospital (approx. 3 in the morning) I awoke to find my housemate curled up in the chair next to my bed. Before waking her, I wandered the (deserted) corridors, and returned with a bounty of several pairs of latex gloves and some fairy light bulbs.
We then left, but not before I left a deposit for the goods. When I say 'deposit', I obviously mean 'pile of sick in corridor'.
(Thu 9th Jun 2005, 15:42, More)
» Jobsworths
I always insist on fresh chillies,
not chilli powder, when rubbing chilli on my knob.
ho ho
(Thu 12th May 2005, 14:22, More)
I always insist on fresh chillies,
not chilli powder, when rubbing chilli on my knob.
ho ho
(Thu 12th May 2005, 14:22, More)