Hmmm...
BBC link


(Wed 7th Jul 2004, 14:13, More)

It came out from behind the bulldozer so fast they didn't have a chance...


click for biggy.
(Tue 4th Mar 2003, 14:05, More)

Disney's latest attempt at gritty realism
did not go down well with test audiences.


(Thu 23rd Jan 2003, 16:26, More)

Someone had to do it...


*snap!* goes the bandwagon tether...

EDIT: [jonners]: "And what a way to bring up his 350 not out, 6 front pages in that innings, wonderful stuff, back to the chocolate cake " :[/jonners]
(Tue 14th Jan 2003, 14:44, More)

Touch my gnu

(Thu 19th Dec 2002, 14:50, More)

#125 in an infinite series...


someone had to do it.
(Tue 26th Nov 2002, 13:20, More)

for his next trick

shamelessely shoehorning memes together.
(Mon 27th May 2002, 11:50, More)

playtime

at the HoC

I go home now.
(Wed 17th Apr 2002, 16:09, More)

another
wasted



lunchtime
(Mon 15th Apr 2002, 12:58, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You

Coke
My dad said that to get Coke in cans, they froze it first then wrapped the cans around it.
(Wed 14th Jan 2004, 14:42, More)

» Impromptu Games You Play

0800 challenge
1. in evening, get pissed
2. get home after closing, make fried egg sandwich or simlah
3. all take turns dialling 0800 followed by a random 7 digit number
4. Points are scored for a 'hit' (i.e. guessing a real number with a live person - surprisingly easy) and a 'conversion' (actually engaging that usually bored and pissed up person in conversation, fooling them that you really are interested in Stannah Stairlifts/the Shingles helpline/chiropody/whatever).
5. Bonus points are scored by giving out absent mates addresses so they receive lots of lovely mail.

The best one we ever did was when Martin got through to Radio Rentals and asked to rent a radio "with FM, like, cos mine's only got MW and LW"; the bloke could not explain why this was not possible.

We were very broke as students. we didn't have a telly.
(Tue 30th Mar 2004, 14:38, More)

» Beautiful Moments

I was sat lost in contemplation.
It was a beautiful starlit evening, with the Croesian riches of the heavens displayed for all to see, like a handful of splinters of diamonds and silver strewn with abandon across a rich tapestry of deepest blue and darkest black velvet. The edges were tinged with the faintest ruby glow as the sun bade us goodmorrow, and as I consumed this ocular feast, a fleeting thought, tenuous as the softest lace and as swift as the swallow, flitted across by mind:


What *has* happened to the roof of my shithouse?

/coat.
(Fri 11th Mar 2005, 10:04, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

I thought that grumpy old men programme
was a lifestyle documentary. I was waiting for the address to send off for a factsheet...
(Thu 28th Oct 2004, 13:12, More)

» Dad Jokes

takes deep breath...
You "Catch it!"
Dad "I'll kill that bloody cat"

Any remark even vaguely double entendre followed by interjection "Said the bishop to the actress" e.g. gf says "You'll never get all that in there" Cue dad...

The eternal deafness gag

"Ask don't get, don't ask, don't want"

On hearing unfamiliar celebrity name "Who's he play for?" or variation on the theme:

You "have you heard of Ben Zephaniah?"
Dad "Didn't he play right back for Borrussia Munchengladbach in 1956?"

And endless rude alternatives to common nursery rhymes (v funny)

And yes, I now use all of these as often as possible in my current dad capacity.
(Fri 12th Dec 2003, 13:00, More)