Profile for Mr. Roboto:
I was once Mr. B3ta Potato.
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- a member for 20 years, 5 months and 21 days
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I was once Mr. B3ta Potato.
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
» My Wanking Disasters
The Wanking Game
A friend of mine actually invented a sort of 'wanking game'. First he would be upstairs in his room whilst his mum was downstairs watching TV or whatever. With his hand in position he would cry 'MUM!' at the top of his voice and commence masturbation. His mum would then go upstairs to see what was wrong. The object of the game was to see if he could produce love fluid before his mother came upstrairs into his room, however when he tried this he was caught and had one hell of a time explaining this to her. Probably scarred her for life.
(Thu 3rd Jun 2004, 1:08, More)
The Wanking Game
A friend of mine actually invented a sort of 'wanking game'. First he would be upstairs in his room whilst his mum was downstairs watching TV or whatever. With his hand in position he would cry 'MUM!' at the top of his voice and commence masturbation. His mum would then go upstairs to see what was wrong. The object of the game was to see if he could produce love fluid before his mother came upstrairs into his room, however when he tried this he was caught and had one hell of a time explaining this to her. Probably scarred her for life.
(Thu 3rd Jun 2004, 1:08, More)
» Lies Your Parents Told You
I remember
when I was very young (and still at primary school) my friends and I overheard the word "Condom" being spread about the school, as an older kid had recently found one, lying about the school grounds. At the time I had no idea what a condom was (I was only 8 and innocent although I did swear a lot back then). I then decided to ask my parents "What's a 'condom'?". My parents looked at each other for quite a while, wondering what to say to me. My dad replied (after a five minute pause)"A Condom is the full name of a Condo, which is like a big house." Well, being very young I decided to tell all my friends this and pretty soon we were each calling our houses "condoms". Conversations then became things like "Hey, can I come over to your condom tonight?" "No sorry, I've been grounded and my mum tells me I have to stay in my condom and tidy my room." All because we thought the word 'Condom' basically meant 'house'. This all went well for a few days until one of my friends parents heard him saying this and they explained what it REALLY was. Soon after my freinds all hated me for saying this and after this I never trusted my parents again. The bastards...
(Fri 16th Jan 2004, 23:57, More)
I remember
when I was very young (and still at primary school) my friends and I overheard the word "Condom" being spread about the school, as an older kid had recently found one, lying about the school grounds. At the time I had no idea what a condom was (I was only 8 and innocent although I did swear a lot back then). I then decided to ask my parents "What's a 'condom'?". My parents looked at each other for quite a while, wondering what to say to me. My dad replied (after a five minute pause)"A Condom is the full name of a Condo, which is like a big house." Well, being very young I decided to tell all my friends this and pretty soon we were each calling our houses "condoms". Conversations then became things like "Hey, can I come over to your condom tonight?" "No sorry, I've been grounded and my mum tells me I have to stay in my condom and tidy my room." All because we thought the word 'Condom' basically meant 'house'. This all went well for a few days until one of my friends parents heard him saying this and they explained what it REALLY was. Soon after my freinds all hated me for saying this and after this I never trusted my parents again. The bastards...
(Fri 16th Jan 2004, 23:57, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
Christ, I have a few...
1)Q.What has four legs and goes "WUFF!"
A. Piper Alpha.
2)Q. Whats worse than having Michael Jackson looking after your kids?
A. Ian Huntly giving them a bath.
3)Q. What do blind, deaf and dumb people get for Christmas?
A. Cancer
4)Q Whats 13 inches long and is guaranteed to keep a woman screaming all through the night?
A. Cot-death
Well... I have booked my oneway ticket to hell
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 18:03, More)
Christ, I have a few...
1)Q.What has four legs and goes "WUFF!"
A. Piper Alpha.
2)Q. Whats worse than having Michael Jackson looking after your kids?
A. Ian Huntly giving them a bath.
3)Q. What do blind, deaf and dumb people get for Christmas?
A. Cancer
4)Q Whats 13 inches long and is guaranteed to keep a woman screaming all through the night?
A. Cot-death
Well... I have booked my oneway ticket to hell
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 18:03, More)
» Irrational Fears
Ack!
The Headcrabs from half-life scared me so much I couldn't look at them. I mean you went in a vent then they just popped out from no-where and randomly bite you. Bloody freaky gits I tell thee. At times when I went to bed I swear I could hear one of them and would have constant nightmares of them chasing me.
(Fri 30th Jan 2004, 0:19, More)
Ack!
The Headcrabs from half-life scared me so much I couldn't look at them. I mean you went in a vent then they just popped out from no-where and randomly bite you. Bloody freaky gits I tell thee. At times when I went to bed I swear I could hear one of them and would have constant nightmares of them chasing me.
(Fri 30th Jan 2004, 0:19, More)
» Breakin' The Law
One time I was driving my car...
It was late at night, about 10:30-ish. Whilst I was driving I saw one of my mates driving coming from the opposite direction, so I just flashed my lights as if I was saying "Hello" and they flashed back. Well, little did I realise that just behind them at a junction was none other than the police and they saw me doing this. So because I did they they pulled me over and they began to question me and asking if there was anything wrong with my car. Having said no he then asked If i was under the influence of alcohol or drugs and I said no but they insisted I must be breathalised. Thankfully I was clear of that stage and then one of the police men asked, "Why did your lights just flash before we seen you?" I then explained that I had seen one of my mates and I flashed the lights to get their attention and he said that Doing this is very serious for dazling other drivers (considering that there was only me and my mate driving on the road at the time) and he went through all this other rubbish and said that I would have been fined for doing this but he just let me off with a warning. I mean like for god's sake It was just a split second and It wasn't as If I blinded my mate or forced him to plough through 40 pedestrians. Utter Nonsense.
(Thu 8th Jan 2004, 0:23, More)
One time I was driving my car...
It was late at night, about 10:30-ish. Whilst I was driving I saw one of my mates driving coming from the opposite direction, so I just flashed my lights as if I was saying "Hello" and they flashed back. Well, little did I realise that just behind them at a junction was none other than the police and they saw me doing this. So because I did they they pulled me over and they began to question me and asking if there was anything wrong with my car. Having said no he then asked If i was under the influence of alcohol or drugs and I said no but they insisted I must be breathalised. Thankfully I was clear of that stage and then one of the police men asked, "Why did your lights just flash before we seen you?" I then explained that I had seen one of my mates and I flashed the lights to get their attention and he said that Doing this is very serious for dazling other drivers (considering that there was only me and my mate driving on the road at the time) and he went through all this other rubbish and said that I would have been fined for doing this but he just let me off with a warning. I mean like for god's sake It was just a split second and It wasn't as If I blinded my mate or forced him to plough through 40 pedestrians. Utter Nonsense.
(Thu 8th Jan 2004, 0:23, More)