Profile for j3fus:
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- a member for 20 years, 5 months and 5 days
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- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
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- has posted 5 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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» Out of my depth
Just because your out of your depth don't mean you have to let them know
Bit of a long one, Football has always been a bit of a bugbear no matter how much i practice i still end being crap at it. One day on the way back into school after a crafty reefer break was called over by my form group because they were one kid down for some inter form football thing rather than concede they tell me to stand there and kick the ball to touch if it comes near me! So I stand there like a stoned cold teenager for 80min till my first touch the ball flies @ me I kick it in one direction it flies off my foot in a random direction and then straight into the goal (so random the keeper didn't see it coming!) might have been well out of my depth but still came out looking like David Beckham. Was a hero for weeks but SSHH don't tell any one what really happened!
(Mon 18th Oct 2004, 12:42, More)
Just because your out of your depth don't mean you have to let them know
Bit of a long one, Football has always been a bit of a bugbear no matter how much i practice i still end being crap at it. One day on the way back into school after a crafty reefer break was called over by my form group because they were one kid down for some inter form football thing rather than concede they tell me to stand there and kick the ball to touch if it comes near me! So I stand there like a stoned cold teenager for 80min till my first touch the ball flies @ me I kick it in one direction it flies off my foot in a random direction and then straight into the goal (so random the keeper didn't see it coming!) might have been well out of my depth but still came out looking like David Beckham. Was a hero for weeks but SSHH don't tell any one what really happened!
(Mon 18th Oct 2004, 12:42, More)
» Pet Names
look what the cat dragged in!!
one day i was awoken to my ex screaming her head off @ a goldfish my cat had brought home the fish had most of its side missing but we thought since it was still flipping a bit we would put it in a sink of water to see if it lived sure enough it did from that day forward the fish was known as "lucky Bastard"
(Thu 26th Feb 2004, 16:47, More)
look what the cat dragged in!!
one day i was awoken to my ex screaming her head off @ a goldfish my cat had brought home the fish had most of its side missing but we thought since it was still flipping a bit we would put it in a sink of water to see if it lived sure enough it did from that day forward the fish was known as "lucky Bastard"
(Thu 26th Feb 2004, 16:47, More)
» Strange things you've been paid to do
Strange job
once got paid for 11 hours work of sitting in a truck cab making sure nobody knicked it reading the viz Profanisaurus best of all it was a bank holiday so they paid me double time
also managed to work as a reworker for 4 months before sombody noticed all i did was make the chips to be soldered super cold with the cold spray and whack them wit a spanner and who said lying on ur CV is a bad thing
(Fri 1st Oct 2004, 14:14, More)
Strange job
once got paid for 11 hours work of sitting in a truck cab making sure nobody knicked it reading the viz Profanisaurus best of all it was a bank holiday so they paid me double time
also managed to work as a reworker for 4 months before sombody noticed all i did was make the chips to be soldered super cold with the cold spray and whack them wit a spanner and who said lying on ur CV is a bad thing
(Fri 1st Oct 2004, 14:14, More)
» Slang Survey
my offering
we all ways say this about a mate of mine when he goes to his room
Don't worry he's just playing a note on the spunk trumpet
i also like as pissed as ya nans Mattress also
gwank = girly wank
(Thu 5th Feb 2004, 9:01, More)
my offering
we all ways say this about a mate of mine when he goes to his room
Don't worry he's just playing a note on the spunk trumpet
i also like as pissed as ya nans Mattress also
gwank = girly wank
(Thu 5th Feb 2004, 9:01, More)
» Dad Jokes
my stepdad has no idea
The main problem with my step dad is not just his really bad jokes, but the fact he uses them again and again and again laughing manically each time he does for instance trying to order soup in a basket in every place that sells food I’ve ever been in with him (including once in MC Donalds) or stopping and shouting look at them there on the fiddle at every violinist ever! Also he on seeing a man in a cast in a pub in a cast he jokingly told him that it was a waste of tax payers money and they should jus cut it off “they are tomorrow” the man replied though his teeth DOH.
(Fri 12th Dec 2003, 12:39, More)
my stepdad has no idea
The main problem with my step dad is not just his really bad jokes, but the fact he uses them again and again and again laughing manically each time he does for instance trying to order soup in a basket in every place that sells food I’ve ever been in with him (including once in MC Donalds) or stopping and shouting look at them there on the fiddle at every violinist ever! Also he on seeing a man in a cast in a pub in a cast he jokingly told him that it was a waste of tax payers money and they should jus cut it off “they are tomorrow” the man replied though his teeth DOH.
(Fri 12th Dec 2003, 12:39, More)