» House Guests

small mammalian guest
I used to live on a houseboat. I have two kitties, both of whom spent their formative years onboard and bar the odd kittie overboard moment (QOTW – Near Death Experiences Involving Pets) , all was cosy.
One of these kitties – George – finally got round to doing some mousing. This was the derelict bit of Brentford by the canal, so there were plenty of mice to mouse.

Unfortunately his simple kittie brain managed to miss the concepts involved in pest control, eg, catch mice on boat, kill said mouse, present mouse corpse, mouse corpse burial at sea.

One evening he appeared with his first mouse in his mouth. I must say, i was rather pleased in a paternal way. He then placed the mouse at my feet as the mouse, sensing its opportunity had arrived, legged it.

This being a rather large dutch barge and having been brought onboard over a large watery gap in the mouth of a feline, he was stuck.

Every evening for the next two years, safe between the wood panelling and the foam insulation, Mickey lived a happy contented existence nibbiling through pretty much everything he could, dining off catfood and deftly evading capture.

I saw him once again before i moved out. He looked very well.
(Tue 11th Jan 2011, 15:25, More)

» Bastard Colleagues

at the moment
im the manager and the shop floor gimp and the gait analyser and the mechanic all rolled into one. i dont really have any colleagues

it can get a bit boring. but i dont hate myself

i do have to lock up the shop for five mins when i need a poo tho.
(Mon 28th Jan 2008, 15:51, More)

» Stalked

um... well. maybe.
I met my first girlfriend of my fresher year at college when I moved into a house I shared with her and another girl. They were both third years and inevitably the relationship went tits up after a couple of months. I then had to last the next 10 months with them till the contract ran out.
The relationship being short and pretty intense and me being a long way from home meant that I got a teeny bit upset at the time.
So.
to express the pain I felt inside, that my 18 year old self hadn't the emotional maturity to express, I wrote down some lyrics in a letter and left the missive on her pillow.

I am still not sure exactly what I thought sting was talking about in 'every breath you take', but it only clicked about 4 years after.

Hindsight is a cruel mistress.
(Thu 31st Jan 2008, 16:14, More)

» Overcoming adversity

My betrothed
Used to do a spot of rowing.
She was away on a training camp in france and had been put out in a single for that particular session (single scull = just you on your own).
During the session, some 5km from the club house, she came up to the catch - the start of the stroke... and dislocated her shoulder taking it.

A normal person would drift slowly to the bank in tears, allow her coach who was with her to call an ambubumbalumps and wait for the help and drugs to arrive without moving too much.

What she actually did was borrow the coaches bike so he could row the single back, ride to the club and finding no one around, put the arm back in herself lethal weapon style against a wall.

To her credit she admitted to me that she 'may have been a little bit sick' when i called her after getting a picture on my mobile of her playing ping pong with her right arm in a sling a few hours later.
When I met her at the airport and she told me it was still a bit sore (translated - effing painful), I took her to casualty where they finished the job she started. She had only managed to get her arm halfway back in 'by wall'.

6 weeks of rehab later, shes back and stronger than she was before the injury, racing in the Remenham Challenge at Henley on the saturday (which is a Big Deal for those who care and also farther than ive ever gotten,) finally getting turned over by the GB wimmins eight.

She is the hardest person I know.
(Thu 13th Dec 2012, 17:25, More)

» Pet Peeves

Espresso
is a coffee beverage so called because the boiling water is passed at pressure through pressed ground coffee.

Expresso is your ignorance.
(Fri 2nd May 2008, 13:21, More)