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- a member for 20 years, 3 months and 23 days
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» Have you ever started a fire?
...And she married me. Go figure.
So I invite this girl over to the apartment. I cook a pot of spaghetti and meatballs, everything from scratch. Got a nice bottle of red, got candles on the table. I'm like Mr. Romance this evening. I serve dinner, take a seat, and lean over the table to start the Sam Cooke CD.
So she's tucking in to the food, I'm admiring how beautiful she looks, and I notice something bright out on the periphery of my vision. I look down, and my chest is on fire. Seems while I was firing up the CD, I was leaning over the candle.
Did I say "Mr. Romance"? More like Mr. Don't Play With Matches...
(Tue 2nd Mar 2004, 20:41, More)
...And she married me. Go figure.
So I invite this girl over to the apartment. I cook a pot of spaghetti and meatballs, everything from scratch. Got a nice bottle of red, got candles on the table. I'm like Mr. Romance this evening. I serve dinner, take a seat, and lean over the table to start the Sam Cooke CD.
So she's tucking in to the food, I'm admiring how beautiful she looks, and I notice something bright out on the periphery of my vision. I look down, and my chest is on fire. Seems while I was firing up the CD, I was leaning over the candle.
Did I say "Mr. Romance"? More like Mr. Don't Play With Matches...
(Tue 2nd Mar 2004, 20:41, More)
» Clients Are Stupid
clients are stupid.
A two-fer.
In a previous life I worked for a PR/ad agency that catered to hi-tech companies. I wrote a release about one client's new product, noting that the product was software, and stating clearly what it did. The client asked for a re-write, demanding that I refer to the product as a "management solution." I protested. I don't know why, the fat lot of good it did me (fat lot of good it did the client, really).
My friend Sparky tells of how he was at work one day behind the counter at an electronics retailer, dealing with his habitual vicious hangover, when a man stormed in, his wife in tow and looking apologetic. The man launched into a tirade about the nefariousness of the retailer knowingly selling him a product he was quite certain was engineered to not work. He blustered on about enlisting the help of the Better Business Bureau, the state attorney general, and the Commerce Department to sue everyone involved. When the man paused for a breath, Sparky lifted the item from the man's grasp, opened the battery case, removed the batteries and replaced them -- this time in their proper orientation, closed the case, turned the item on (demonstrating perfect functionality), and returned the item to the man, all wordlessly. The man retreated, accompanied by his wife, now wearing a smug look.
(Tue 30th Dec 2003, 20:01, More)
clients are stupid.
A two-fer.
In a previous life I worked for a PR/ad agency that catered to hi-tech companies. I wrote a release about one client's new product, noting that the product was software, and stating clearly what it did. The client asked for a re-write, demanding that I refer to the product as a "management solution." I protested. I don't know why, the fat lot of good it did me (fat lot of good it did the client, really).
My friend Sparky tells of how he was at work one day behind the counter at an electronics retailer, dealing with his habitual vicious hangover, when a man stormed in, his wife in tow and looking apologetic. The man launched into a tirade about the nefariousness of the retailer knowingly selling him a product he was quite certain was engineered to not work. He blustered on about enlisting the help of the Better Business Bureau, the state attorney general, and the Commerce Department to sue everyone involved. When the man paused for a breath, Sparky lifted the item from the man's grasp, opened the battery case, removed the batteries and replaced them -- this time in their proper orientation, closed the case, turned the item on (demonstrating perfect functionality), and returned the item to the man, all wordlessly. The man retreated, accompanied by his wife, now wearing a smug look.
(Tue 30th Dec 2003, 20:01, More)
» Amazing displays of ignorance
amazing displays of ignorance
I'm from this relatively isolated country called the United States, and we pretty recently had this President, name of George W. Bush, don't know if you'd have heard of him or not? Can't think of any specific instances of the top of my head, but pretty ignorant all around.
(Fri 19th Mar 2010, 21:11, More)
amazing displays of ignorance
I'm from this relatively isolated country called the United States, and we pretty recently had this President, name of George W. Bush, don't know if you'd have heard of him or not? Can't think of any specific instances of the top of my head, but pretty ignorant all around.
(Fri 19th Mar 2010, 21:11, More)
» People with Stupid Names
People w/stupid names
Hymen Bender. He was 20 or so when I met him in college, and already he'd clearly had the name too long, poor fellow.
(Tue 31st Aug 2004, 22:12, More)
People w/stupid names
Hymen Bender. He was 20 or so when I met him in college, and already he'd clearly had the name too long, poor fellow.
(Tue 31st Aug 2004, 22:12, More)