Profile for Lambswax:
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- a member for 20 years, 1 month and 21 days
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» Foot in Mouth Syndrome
Stinky
At school, when I was about 12, we had a maths teacher called Mr Smith. Now the poor man had a bit of a B.O problem, strong enough to bring tears to your eyes. One warm summers day, after enduring half an hour in a stuffy classroom with him, he left the room. I stood up and went "Pwoooor, stinky-stinky pits-pits'over and over, whilst jumping up & down, flapping my arms like a chicken.(Yes, very mature, I know..) A hushed silence - I turn around & there is Mr Smith in the doorway, just staring at me. My chant petered out as the floor opened up & engulfed me....
(Wed 21st Apr 2004, 7:23, More)
Stinky
At school, when I was about 12, we had a maths teacher called Mr Smith. Now the poor man had a bit of a B.O problem, strong enough to bring tears to your eyes. One warm summers day, after enduring half an hour in a stuffy classroom with him, he left the room. I stood up and went "Pwoooor, stinky-stinky pits-pits'over and over, whilst jumping up & down, flapping my arms like a chicken.(Yes, very mature, I know..) A hushed silence - I turn around & there is Mr Smith in the doorway, just staring at me. My chant petered out as the floor opened up & engulfed me....
(Wed 21st Apr 2004, 7:23, More)
» My Worst Vomit
Buses
My mate Jo did some beauties back in our teenage drinking days, after purging on cider, lager & Thunderbird wine. Most memorable ones were on long bus journeys home. Upstairs on the bus, there was a lot of water collected on the floor (no idea how) - how we laughed at the sight of Jo's regurgitated cheese on toast floating back & forth across the bus at every bend. But her most wondrous vomit of all had to be the almost perfectly formed solid pyramid of peas she brought up onto the bus seat one night. Quite astounding.
(Fri 20th Aug 2004, 0:09, More)
Buses
My mate Jo did some beauties back in our teenage drinking days, after purging on cider, lager & Thunderbird wine. Most memorable ones were on long bus journeys home. Upstairs on the bus, there was a lot of water collected on the floor (no idea how) - how we laughed at the sight of Jo's regurgitated cheese on toast floating back & forth across the bus at every bend. But her most wondrous vomit of all had to be the almost perfectly formed solid pyramid of peas she brought up onto the bus seat one night. Quite astounding.
(Fri 20th Aug 2004, 0:09, More)
» People with Stupid Names
Dick Face
Richard Face Minister for Gaming and Racing New South Wales 1995 - 2003
Why the hell would you call your child Richard??? Like Dick Pound the olympics guy & Dick Spring, former deputy prime minister for Ireland (a personal favourite name of mine) :o)
(Fri 27th Aug 2004, 10:40, More)
Dick Face
Richard Face Minister for Gaming and Racing New South Wales 1995 - 2003
Why the hell would you call your child Richard??? Like Dick Pound the olympics guy & Dick Spring, former deputy prime minister for Ireland (a personal favourite name of mine) :o)
(Fri 27th Aug 2004, 10:40, More)
» My Worst Vomit
Young love
My first proper snog.... Party, darkened nightclub, aged 14, many pints of cider & black. I hurled up a whole pint full back into an empty glass, boy comes to see if I'm ok, puts arm round my shoulder as I chunder, I wipe my mouth, then we snog for a good hour or so before I dash off to chunder again. Ah, young love.... (Some scanky kid almost drank the pint I left on the shelf, now THAT would have been funny...)
(Fri 20th Aug 2004, 0:13, More)
Young love
My first proper snog.... Party, darkened nightclub, aged 14, many pints of cider & black. I hurled up a whole pint full back into an empty glass, boy comes to see if I'm ok, puts arm round my shoulder as I chunder, I wipe my mouth, then we snog for a good hour or so before I dash off to chunder again. Ah, young love.... (Some scanky kid almost drank the pint I left on the shelf, now THAT would have been funny...)
(Fri 20th Aug 2004, 0:13, More)
» Mini Cabs From Hell
Booger Man
Hubby and I went to Bali for a few days, caught a cab from the airport with the grossest little cabbie ever - all the way to the hotel, he picked his nose & stacked them up in an extrordinarily high little mound on the dashboard. Being 3 months pregnant at the time, it was all I could do to stop myself from vomitting all over him.
(Thu 27th May 2004, 4:55, More)
Booger Man
Hubby and I went to Bali for a few days, caught a cab from the airport with the grossest little cabbie ever - all the way to the hotel, he picked his nose & stacked them up in an extrordinarily high little mound on the dashboard. Being 3 months pregnant at the time, it was all I could do to stop myself from vomitting all over him.
(Thu 27th May 2004, 4:55, More)