Profile for Svajoklis:
Hello,
I am Rosie's little brother. I am slightly concerned that some of you are composing poetry about her urethra, but against my better judgement I decided to join in the larks anyway.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
- a member for 19 years, 11 months and 18 days
- has posted 2 messages on the main board
- has posted 36 messages on the talk board
- has posted 0 messages on the links board
- has posted 2 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 11 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 0 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
Hello,
I am Rosie's little brother. I am slightly concerned that some of you are composing poetry about her urethra, but against my better judgement I decided to join in the larks anyway.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Shit Stories
Gravity defying poo
When my sister was about three I was getting her ready to have a bath. I left her alone for about two minutes and when I came back she'd pooed all over my room. My mum came down and we cleaned the floor up. But then I noticed something astounding, I shouted up to my Mum 'Mum, Grace has pooed on the wall'. She shouted back 'Well get some tissue to wipe it off then.' I replied 'No, you misunderstand me. She has actually done a poo on the wall'. It was quite a sight, god knows how she performed this gravity defying stunt, but we were so impressed at the turd, a foot from the ground and showing no signs of heading to earth, that we rang our neighbor up to come and have a look as well.
(Thu 6th May 2004, 17:41, More)
Gravity defying poo
When my sister was about three I was getting her ready to have a bath. I left her alone for about two minutes and when I came back she'd pooed all over my room. My mum came down and we cleaned the floor up. But then I noticed something astounding, I shouted up to my Mum 'Mum, Grace has pooed on the wall'. She shouted back 'Well get some tissue to wipe it off then.' I replied 'No, you misunderstand me. She has actually done a poo on the wall'. It was quite a sight, god knows how she performed this gravity defying stunt, but we were so impressed at the turd, a foot from the ground and showing no signs of heading to earth, that we rang our neighbor up to come and have a look as well.
(Thu 6th May 2004, 17:41, More)
» DIY fashion
Jacob the Egyptian
When I was in primary school, my eldest sister (a different one -- not that scrench who posts round these parts) had a boyfriend who clearly want to impress, so in the fortnight or so running up to the school summer fair he helped me make my costume for the summer fair fancy dress competition, to which, being a fan of Akhenaten et al, I had decided to go as an Egyptian Pharaoh. The costume required a lot of time, effort, white sheets and careful research to ensure historical accuracy. It was an impressive effort - complete with a calippo tube covered in foil for the artificial beard, and I headed to the summer fair like Thutmose III to the Battle of Megiddo, highly confident of victory. The only thing I hadn't figured in to the equation was my complete lack of self-esteem, and as soon as I arrived at the fair, Laura MacIntyre (who was wont to boast about eating her scabs)made a beeline for me, pointed and said "Jacob the Egyptian, Jacob the Egyptian!" This may not seem like very vicious insult (or indeed, any kind of insult), but I was the very self-conscious type and I looked around at all the ninjas and spidermans and felt (as I still do now) like a Sao Tome Lemon Dove amongst pigeons, and had to be taken home in floods of tears. Archie Johnston-Stewart won the competition as a chef, and my sister split up with her boyfriend a few days later. Last time I saw Laura she looked like a fat pikey slag.
(Fri 25th Aug 2006, 13:12, More)
Jacob the Egyptian
When I was in primary school, my eldest sister (a different one -- not that scrench who posts round these parts) had a boyfriend who clearly want to impress, so in the fortnight or so running up to the school summer fair he helped me make my costume for the summer fair fancy dress competition, to which, being a fan of Akhenaten et al, I had decided to go as an Egyptian Pharaoh. The costume required a lot of time, effort, white sheets and careful research to ensure historical accuracy. It was an impressive effort - complete with a calippo tube covered in foil for the artificial beard, and I headed to the summer fair like Thutmose III to the Battle of Megiddo, highly confident of victory. The only thing I hadn't figured in to the equation was my complete lack of self-esteem, and as soon as I arrived at the fair, Laura MacIntyre (who was wont to boast about eating her scabs)made a beeline for me, pointed and said "Jacob the Egyptian, Jacob the Egyptian!" This may not seem like very vicious insult (or indeed, any kind of insult), but I was the very self-conscious type and I looked around at all the ninjas and spidermans and felt (as I still do now) like a Sao Tome Lemon Dove amongst pigeons, and had to be taken home in floods of tears. Archie Johnston-Stewart won the competition as a chef, and my sister split up with her boyfriend a few days later. Last time I saw Laura she looked like a fat pikey slag.
(Fri 25th Aug 2006, 13:12, More)