» Dad Jokes

my hilarious father
used to stare into the resident bag of mushrooms in our fridge and say 'There's not much-room in here.' Every time without fail. Every time. It made me wish I was dead.
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 15:43, More)

» The last thing that made me cry

met my mate
in t'pub last week, she was all quiet and uptight. After two and a half pints we were in the toilets with her paused to reveal what she had, over a few days, convinced herself was genital herpes. Even though we've been mates for 15 years it took a lot for her to fess up and explain the cause of her unhappiness. Irrational fear of 'The Clinic' had led her to me for a second opinion. After we took a few deep breaths she whipped down her keks, only to reveal a rather angry spot on her thigh not even remotely anywhere near her lady-garden.

She wept with relief; I nearly died laughing.
(Fri 15th Apr 2005, 12:24, More)

» Worst Record Ever

james last
AND His Orchestra were responsible for a horrifying session in my house involving the wrong rpm and my mates who were indulging in mind boggling drugs at the time. I suggest 'tie a yellow ribbon (round the old oak tree)' at 45rpm if you want to come around in a newly redecorated flat with a few days of your life missing. Old Jamsey does it every time.
(Thu 4th Dec 2003, 1:27, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

when my housemates
piss me off I break/damage a replaceable item, and sit back and laugh as they blame it on the cat.
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 9:32, More)