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- a member for 19 years, 10 months and 7 days
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» Jobsworths
This still makes me laugh
On a bus down Camden Road in the morning rush hour. We crawl along and eventually the bus stop is in view. The Terminus. Cue jobsworth. A number of passengers ask him to open the door and he's having none of it because his bus isn't at the stop yet. More people join in and the atmosphere is getting tense. Jobsworth laps it up and the doors remain closed. We move a few more inches towards the stop and still we remain captive. I spot the emergency door release and make my bid for freedom. The doors open and the alarm sounds and there is a mass exodus. I can still see the driver's red face and hear his driver's muffled expletives as I walked by feeling like a hero.
(Fri 13th May 2005, 17:07, More)
This still makes me laugh
On a bus down Camden Road in the morning rush hour. We crawl along and eventually the bus stop is in view. The Terminus. Cue jobsworth. A number of passengers ask him to open the door and he's having none of it because his bus isn't at the stop yet. More people join in and the atmosphere is getting tense. Jobsworth laps it up and the doors remain closed. We move a few more inches towards the stop and still we remain captive. I spot the emergency door release and make my bid for freedom. The doors open and the alarm sounds and there is a mass exodus. I can still see the driver's red face and hear his driver's muffled expletives as I walked by feeling like a hero.
(Fri 13th May 2005, 17:07, More)
» Have you ever been dumped in a spectacular way?
Run, run like the wind!
OK. It was a safe number of years ago in a pub in Camden and I was approached at the bar by a very attractive young black girl whose birthday it was. She said that she had noticed that I was on my own and invited me to join her and girl friends at her table. Of course, I accepted and much alcohol was consumed and we flirted outrageously throughout the evening.
At the end of the night she asked me to go back with her to her flat and left her friends to take another cab. Of course, I accepted and the anticipation on the way there was almost unbearable. We got back to hers and undressed with total disregard for foreplay and then we got down to work. After hours of mutual pleasuring (modest, eh?) I pleaded for some kip before passing into a coma-like sleep. When I awoke, she was half dressed, running around the room frantically picking up the rest of her clothes, telling me to GET UP. It was a Saturday morning, I wasn’t working and I had, to quote Withnail, “A bastard behind the eyes”, with no Aspirin in sight. As the sunlight blazed through the window, I asked her what the problem was…
She said, “You have to leave. My husband is coming up the stairs with our kid.”
I hold the world record for the naked, back stairs hangover dash!
(Fri 18th Jun 2004, 13:18, More)
Run, run like the wind!
OK. It was a safe number of years ago in a pub in Camden and I was approached at the bar by a very attractive young black girl whose birthday it was. She said that she had noticed that I was on my own and invited me to join her and girl friends at her table. Of course, I accepted and much alcohol was consumed and we flirted outrageously throughout the evening.
At the end of the night she asked me to go back with her to her flat and left her friends to take another cab. Of course, I accepted and the anticipation on the way there was almost unbearable. We got back to hers and undressed with total disregard for foreplay and then we got down to work. After hours of mutual pleasuring (modest, eh?) I pleaded for some kip before passing into a coma-like sleep. When I awoke, she was half dressed, running around the room frantically picking up the rest of her clothes, telling me to GET UP. It was a Saturday morning, I wasn’t working and I had, to quote Withnail, “A bastard behind the eyes”, with no Aspirin in sight. As the sunlight blazed through the window, I asked her what the problem was…
She said, “You have to leave. My husband is coming up the stairs with our kid.”
I hold the world record for the naked, back stairs hangover dash!
(Fri 18th Jun 2004, 13:18, More)
» I was drunk when I bought this
£150 worth of nothing!
Suffering from a terrible hangover and barely able to keep my eyes open, I finished work one friday and needing cash withdrew 150 notes from a hole in the wall. Except I didn't wait for the cash. Walked off and realised too late what I had done. Legged it back to the cash point where some guy was lurking with a stupid grin on his face. A total waste of money.
(Wed 15th Jun 2005, 13:01, More)
£150 worth of nothing!
Suffering from a terrible hangover and barely able to keep my eyes open, I finished work one friday and needing cash withdrew 150 notes from a hole in the wall. Except I didn't wait for the cash. Walked off and realised too late what I had done. Legged it back to the cash point where some guy was lurking with a stupid grin on his face. A total waste of money.
(Wed 15th Jun 2005, 13:01, More)