b3ta.com user HectorProtector
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» School Sports Day

So I was only about 8
And was at a new school, had only been there for a few months, and sports day rolls around. And naturally I didn't know many people, so I was wandering around by myself, and I see my mum and my sister across this field eating ice-cream. So I decide to join them, taking the shortest possible route, not noticing the fact that this included the main race track. And so I nearly get trampled by some large chaps in singlets and shorts, and the headmaster, through loudspeaker and tannoy, bawls "YOU BOY! YES, YOU WHO JUST RAN ACROSS THE TRACK! COME OVER HERE RIGHT AWAY!"

Cue everyone looking at me and little tears starting to appear in the corner of my eyes.
(Thu 30th Mar 2006, 14:11, More)

» Black Sheep

Bloody hell...
...this is depressing, ain't it?

My extended family is great, thanks. We all get on really well, have family get-togethers whenever we can, love each other to bits (despite having 28 first cousins and assorted aunts, uncles and grandparents). The closest we came to a major argument was when one aunt and uncle outstayed their welcome on holiday with my grandparents, but it all blew over in the end.

Just thought you all needed a bit of cheering up.

Edit: to make this a valid compo entry, I don't talk to my gran very often, being as she's dead and all. She had an illegitimate child to a WWII sailor. But nobody minded.
(Sat 15th Jan 2005, 1:11, More)

» Accidentally Erotic

Situations in life I have found inappropriately erotic?
reading all these lully stories.
(Thu 2nd Feb 2006, 13:58, More)

» Terrible food

Stew in Tenerife
My wife and I stayed a night in a little village in Tenerife, sampling dinner at a local beachfront cafe, the kind quoted in the Rough Guide as "a truly local experience, sample local delicacies, eat with local people". So we order the conejo (rabbit) stew along with some veggie stuff, it was all going splendidly till wifey picks out a spikey bit and starts examining it from all angles.

Her: "what do you think this bit is?"

Me: "I think you'll find that's the rabbit's face"

I kindly illustrated my point by demonstrating the rabbit's teeth, eye socket and jaw.

Stew was delicious.
(Fri 18th May 2007, 17:04, More)

» Weird Traditions

my own tradition involves
never ever being early for a train, necessitating running with luggage and rarely getting a seat. I don't know why I always do this but it would feel treacherous if I was to forsake the tradition now.

Oh and whenever anyone says "Keep your hair on!" I always add "...Moses".

And whenever I hear a wolf-whistle in a public place, I bow and say "thank you".
(Wed 3rd Aug 2005, 15:55, More)
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