» Secret Santa


I always get my loved ones petrol-soaked fake moustaches for Christmas.

It's such a joy to watch their faces light up.
(Sun 17th Dec 2006, 23:33, More)

» Ignoring Instructions

I once put my chemistry set inside a microwave and drank the melted chemicals down with some bleach and too many pills and set it alight and burned by eyebrows and rubbed chilli in my eyes with my cock.
While I was doing this, my dinner burnt so I ironed myself by mistake.

(Mon 8th May 2006, 16:15, More)

» Worst Band Ever

Coldplay
Bunch of fucking wankers. Can't abide the cunts.
(Thu 30th Dec 2010, 20:33, More)

» First World Problems

I just came here to read the popular answers
But the question hasn't closed yet, despite it being Thursday afternoon.

Not only that, but there's not enough time for this answer to gain enough votes before it does close.
(Thu 8th Mar 2012, 15:30, More)

» Workplace Boredom

In days of yore...
I used to be a freelance PC-fixer monkey.

And I made a point of having a wank in the bathroom of every house I was called out to.
(Sun 11th Jan 2009, 9:45, More)