» Intense Friendships

My friend...
Andy became best friends with this guy from school, lets call him S. S was a little weird, but Andy didn't seem to notice (or care).
So S and Andy are hanging out at Andy's house, when S suddenly suggests naked wrestling. Now, Andy was 14/15 at the time, so immediately realised this was the gayest thing he'd ever heard. He declined, but said they could play normal wrestling. S wants to turn the light out, and Andy is willing to compromise on this occasion.
Out goes the light, and wrestling ensues. Andy's arm starts to hurt so he turns on the light, turns around and is met with the sight of S lying stark bollock naked on the carpet.

Thus ended the friendship of Andy and S.
(Fri 28th Jul 2006, 13:28, More)

» Crappy Prizes

Let me see
Well, how about the time I spent 20p on a raffle ticket and won...

*drumroll*

A can of lager and a bottle of shaving foam. Just what every six year old girl wants.
(Thu 4th Aug 2005, 22:30, More)

» Scary Neighbours

My neighbour was lovingly dubbed...
Nutty Noel by the streets residents. He used to live with his mother, but after her death he decided to not take the tablets that helped him to not be, well, a complete crettin.
His overgrown front garden was decorated with various childrens toys, including a Mickey Mouse sellotaped to his doorstep.
His windows were always covered with newspaper articles and clippings, particularly when something big happened in the news.
We particularly enjoyed his coverage of the death of Princess Diana, where the centrepiece of his efforts was a large piece of paper, saying clearly in big, bold letters:

DIANA=DEAD

Don't remember what happened to him, but his house is now three bloody council houses.
(Thu 25th Aug 2005, 16:22, More)

» Black Sheep

my mums ex husband...
lets call him Nigel(because thats his name)... well he was a particularly evil bastard, he'd constantly punish/smack about my three older siblings for literally no reason when they were young and managed to have one of them (and my mum) still talking to him until last year, when he said to them that our mum was a crap parent, and no ones spoken to him since.

when my gran first met my mums next husband (my dad) she said to him "how do i know you're going to a better husband to her than Nigel?" to which my dad replied "well, i have a massive cock"
luckily my mums very forgiving....
(Fri 14th Jan 2005, 18:59, More)

» Teenage Poetry

I wrote this 3 days ago about me and my mate Jin...
Im 16 so it counts.

Why hello there,
flat-chested friend,
to me a padded bra
you lend.
and you know,
that it will fit,
cos both of us,
ain't got no tits.

But it don't matter,
cos you see,
we're boobless buds,
yeah you and me.

Don't stuff our bra's,
with no kleenex,
cos we don't use
no false effects.
We got nothing,
to get off our chests,
cos both of us,
ain't got no breasts.

But very soon,
our bra's will fill,
because we're going
on the pill.
(Fri 12th Aug 2005, 12:06, More)