Profile for winestain:
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- a member for 19 years, 6 months and 7 days
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- has posted 15 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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» Crap meals out
We've all had a dodgy kebab...
...but this really takes the cake.
So we were all pissed & wandering around town at god knows what hour when the inevitable cravings begin and we all headed to the nearest kebab joint.
I decide to get the kebab on rice - just chicken on rice with tomato sauce thankyouverymuch.
Get outside and are about to tuck into it when - horror of horrors - I spy an enormous, curly black pube peeking out of the chicken at me.
I reeled back into the kebab joint loudly proclaiming that I'd found a pube in my food (at which point half the people queing walked out). The guy serving looked at me and said "well, it can't be from anyone who works here" (eh?!?!)
The evening then culminated in me pulling my pants down to reveal my freshly waxed nethers and yelling "well it sure as fuck didn't come from me"
I even got a round of applause. Woo.
(Fri 28th Apr 2006, 4:01, More)
We've all had a dodgy kebab...
...but this really takes the cake.
So we were all pissed & wandering around town at god knows what hour when the inevitable cravings begin and we all headed to the nearest kebab joint.
I decide to get the kebab on rice - just chicken on rice with tomato sauce thankyouverymuch.
Get outside and are about to tuck into it when - horror of horrors - I spy an enormous, curly black pube peeking out of the chicken at me.
I reeled back into the kebab joint loudly proclaiming that I'd found a pube in my food (at which point half the people queing walked out). The guy serving looked at me and said "well, it can't be from anyone who works here" (eh?!?!)
The evening then culminated in me pulling my pants down to reveal my freshly waxed nethers and yelling "well it sure as fuck didn't come from me"
I even got a round of applause. Woo.
(Fri 28th Apr 2006, 4:01, More)
» Best Graffiti Ever
This one always cracks me up...
tinyurl.com/2yg8p8
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 21:56, More)
This one always cracks me up...
tinyurl.com/2yg8p8
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 21:56, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
Can't be bothered to check if it's been posted...
This gay guy named Nigel is totally in love with his doctor. Much to the doctor's chagrin he makes an appointment at least three times a week with imagined illnesses and the doctor sends him away telling him not to come back unless he's really sick.
So one day Nigel goes to the doctor and when the doctor sees him he says,
"Oh God no, what is it this time Nigel?"
Nigel replies in a very mincing tone, "I seem to have gotten something stuck up my back door"
Doctor: "Oh Jesus, why me? Alright pull down your pants and bend over."
Nigel obliges and the doctor has a look, "Oh shit, there's definitely something up there, it looks like a stick..........a stick with thorns on it...........there's more than one, oh this is disgust.......there's heaps of them!"
The doctor grabs some forceps and finally gets hold of everything stuck in there and, shocked, pulls a dozen roses out of Nigel's arsehole.
Nigel, still bending over, looks back at the doctor and squeals "Go on, read the card, READ THE CARD!"
(Tue 13th Dec 2005, 23:14, More)
Can't be bothered to check if it's been posted...
This gay guy named Nigel is totally in love with his doctor. Much to the doctor's chagrin he makes an appointment at least three times a week with imagined illnesses and the doctor sends him away telling him not to come back unless he's really sick.
So one day Nigel goes to the doctor and when the doctor sees him he says,
"Oh God no, what is it this time Nigel?"
Nigel replies in a very mincing tone, "I seem to have gotten something stuck up my back door"
Doctor: "Oh Jesus, why me? Alright pull down your pants and bend over."
Nigel obliges and the doctor has a look, "Oh shit, there's definitely something up there, it looks like a stick..........a stick with thorns on it...........there's more than one, oh this is disgust.......there's heaps of them!"
The doctor grabs some forceps and finally gets hold of everything stuck in there and, shocked, pulls a dozen roses out of Nigel's arsehole.
Nigel, still bending over, looks back at the doctor and squeals "Go on, read the card, READ THE CARD!"
(Tue 13th Dec 2005, 23:14, More)
» Pet Stories
I can't verify if this is true or not...
... but my boyfriend told me this story:
A friend of his, stumbling home pissed, came across his beloved dog on the road. Dead. Presumably run over.
Vision blurred with tears, he picks it up, takes it to the back garden and buries it - crying the whole time.
The next morning he wakes up and is confronted not only by a massive hangover, but his very much alive dog licking his hand.
That's right - he had buried someone else's dog...
(Tue 12th Jun 2007, 7:09, More)
I can't verify if this is true or not...
... but my boyfriend told me this story:
A friend of his, stumbling home pissed, came across his beloved dog on the road. Dead. Presumably run over.
Vision blurred with tears, he picks it up, takes it to the back garden and buries it - crying the whole time.
The next morning he wakes up and is confronted not only by a massive hangover, but his very much alive dog licking his hand.
That's right - he had buried someone else's dog...
(Tue 12th Jun 2007, 7:09, More)