» Ignoring Instructions

Harpoon guns
Me & my still best friend Jeremy were playing in our other friend Sean's garden one day. After looking in the shed we found a fully functional harpoon gun (Seans dad was in the navyu for years & had many toy's). Once found we lined up the garden Gnomes & shot them, after each shot one of us would have to run up the garden & retrieve the harpoon & then stand the Gnomes back up.

After standing the Gnomes up for the last time i turn around to see Jeremy with insane glee etched on his face as he points the reloaded spear gun at me. He made me open my legs up & then shot the harpoon between them missing my nut sack by about an inch.

Jeremy does not have a warning sign, but most likely should.
(Mon 8th May 2006, 14:15, More)

» Ignoring Instructions

Electricution Memory Loss
After having a harpoon shot at me by Jeremy 2 weeks earlier i was looking for revenge. While fixing his computer one day the oppertunity arose.

The computer would not switch on, i said to Jeremy "there are 2 bits in the power supply that arent connecting, if you connect them we can see if they are the problem & then fix them properly."

Jeremy says "What should i connect them with?"

I Say "Just do it with your fingers, but Jump as i switch it on, that way you wont be earthed & will not get shocked. All we need is to see if it will power on with them connected"

To my delight he went for it, on three, 1, 2, 3. Jeremy jumps, i switch it on, jeremy flys out of room, i laugh so hard i wet myself.

An interesting side note to this is, Jeremy then lost his short term memory for 2 weeks.
(Mon 8th May 2006, 14:21, More)

» Ignoring Instructions

Molten plastic garden furniture.
One day while Garden hopping in our local village, Jeremy & I spot the horrible white molded plastic garden furniture that everyone had in the 80's. Getting the table on my back & Jeremy with all 4 chairs on his we make it over the rest of the fences and retreat to Sean's garden.

At the bottom of Sean's garden there is an air raid shelter built in the 40's we put the furniture in there & head off to the supermarket. Buy a lighter & can of hairspray each (With no questions asked we reguarly did this at age 12) we go back to the shelter & burn the fuck out of the furniture.

Back acrid smoke billowing off the furniture it starts to fill the confined shelter quickly. With molten spittig plastic comming closer to us we both realise that we have put the furniture between us & the door.

There is an escape hatch on the top but 40 years of rust have sealed it pretty tight. Jeremy gets on my sholders & we try ramming it open with his head. on about the 10th go we get it open about an inch & then the fire backdrafts causing Jeremy to loose his eyebrows.

So the only way out is over the fire, taking a run up we both jump the blaze and dont quite make it landing in the hot hot plastic we run outside & start to strip off & rub outselfs down with grass to get the worst of it off.

This is when Seans mum comes outside demanding to know what is gong on, Sean was at boarding school & his 2 best friends are in his garden stripped to the pants rubbing themselfs with mud, black smoke billowing out of the door behind them.

We denied knowing anything about it.
(Mon 8th May 2006, 14:31, More)

» Childhood bad taste

i cant think of much that wasnt bad
Shell suits
luminous boxer shorts
loads'a'money tshirts
dungeons & dragons
Timmy Mallet

My favorite tho is my best mate used to record the music from computer games like Street Fighter 2 so he could listen to it on his walkman.

Edit- almost forgot novelty ties.
(Fri 10th Dec 2004, 14:01, More)

» Eccentrics

Brightons Best
After living in Brighton for years you meet some of the best people. I cant possibly explain all the strangeness here but just list my favorites.

Atters: a genuine bounder, dresses like its 1940 and he is in a terry tomas film down to the sock suspenders. Hes a paranormal investigator. head of the handlebar society. editor of the chap magazine etc, etc. he is genuinely one of the nicest people i have ever met. link

Draco: A friend of Dali that modeled for him in Christ of St. John of the Cross .Hes about 70, i first met at a club werating nothing but boots, a top hat & a chain linking his nose ring to his genital peircings. On speaking to him i found he has no memory, on mild investigation it turns out he was in a major car crash in the 80s and has lost all his memory. His house is now a load of photos & notes on clips & string all over the house. Its like walking through his memory.

And a little known fellow that i dont know the name of myself. He stands on western road and claps at busses with suck glee, its awesome. I have never seen a man as happy as him, when he was getting onto a bus. I love him.

I may remember more later.
(Tue 4th Nov 2008, 17:31, More)