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- a member for 19 years, 3 months and 10 days
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» Best Graffiti Ever
politest put down ever.
In the toilet of the Bodleian library in Oxford, there used to be a piece of graffiti that said "Arabs fuck off home", to which someone had replied:
"Dear boy, I think you'll find cubicle 2 is the venue for xenophia and racist bile. This cubicle is reserved for literary jokes and whimsical wordplay. Hope that helps."
Probably funnier when viewed through the lens of a 10 minute shit break three weeks into 12-hour a day finals revision, but what the hell.
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 17:53, More)
politest put down ever.
In the toilet of the Bodleian library in Oxford, there used to be a piece of graffiti that said "Arabs fuck off home", to which someone had replied:
"Dear boy, I think you'll find cubicle 2 is the venue for xenophia and racist bile. This cubicle is reserved for literary jokes and whimsical wordplay. Hope that helps."
Probably funnier when viewed through the lens of a 10 minute shit break three weeks into 12-hour a day finals revision, but what the hell.
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 17:53, More)
» When animals attack...
Dolpin Sex horror
A Devonite mate of mine tells the following story at the drop of a hat- usually when trying to justify his seething hatred of dolphins.
Apparently he and a group of his backward west-country chums were fooling around down the beach one day, when they spied one of those loveable marine scamps splashing and frollocking its way towards them through the surf. They all eagerly envisaged an enjoyable afternoon laughing and catching rides on its back, like in the stories they had all heard about other people reading.
Unfortunately, it appears that Flipper had other things on his mind. It turns out that one of the girls in the group was in that magical pre-menstrual state where she was leaking pheromones like a sex-crazed skunk, and this had frazzled his dolphin-senses. The clicking rape-fiend then proceeded to single out this girl from the group and attempt to stick his long, thin dolphin cock in any available orifice.
Cue much splashing and attempted get-away. Thanks to the thin layer of swimsuit she managed not to get fully violated, but by all accounts her thighs had been bruised black by the vigorous thrusting of the cetacean love-member.
Safe to say, she never went in the sea again and my mate now affects a chronic dislike of dolphins. Even though I reckon he knows that she was asking for it- slut.
Apologies for lent- blame Jesus. Arsehole.
(Thu 2nd Jun 2005, 11:54, More)
Dolpin Sex horror
A Devonite mate of mine tells the following story at the drop of a hat- usually when trying to justify his seething hatred of dolphins.
Apparently he and a group of his backward west-country chums were fooling around down the beach one day, when they spied one of those loveable marine scamps splashing and frollocking its way towards them through the surf. They all eagerly envisaged an enjoyable afternoon laughing and catching rides on its back, like in the stories they had all heard about other people reading.
Unfortunately, it appears that Flipper had other things on his mind. It turns out that one of the girls in the group was in that magical pre-menstrual state where she was leaking pheromones like a sex-crazed skunk, and this had frazzled his dolphin-senses. The clicking rape-fiend then proceeded to single out this girl from the group and attempt to stick his long, thin dolphin cock in any available orifice.
Cue much splashing and attempted get-away. Thanks to the thin layer of swimsuit she managed not to get fully violated, but by all accounts her thighs had been bruised black by the vigorous thrusting of the cetacean love-member.
Safe to say, she never went in the sea again and my mate now affects a chronic dislike of dolphins. Even though I reckon he knows that she was asking for it- slut.
Apologies for lent- blame Jesus. Arsehole.
(Thu 2nd Jun 2005, 11:54, More)
» I'm an expert
Getting home drunk
I have a phenomenal homing ability that allows me to return to the building i am supposed to inhabiting at that point in time even when so drunk i can't see, feel or form new memories.
I have done it at least 6 times in places that i would have difficulty finding my way home sober- although the length of time between leaving drinking hole and ETA at room can be anything up to 5 hours. (Turns out London is a big place.)
What can i say? It's a gift, and i choose to use it to change history for the better.
(Thu 23rd Jun 2005, 17:36, More)
Getting home drunk
I have a phenomenal homing ability that allows me to return to the building i am supposed to inhabiting at that point in time even when so drunk i can't see, feel or form new memories.
I have done it at least 6 times in places that i would have difficulty finding my way home sober- although the length of time between leaving drinking hole and ETA at room can be anything up to 5 hours. (Turns out London is a big place.)
What can i say? It's a gift, and i choose to use it to change history for the better.
(Thu 23rd Jun 2005, 17:36, More)