Profile for tree hugger:
30-something manager with a predilection for creating bizzare acronyms:
Training Will Always Triumph
Always Reward Staff Excellence
Better Under Managers Focus Upon Collecting Knowledge
Edit/ I was discussing these over dinner just after Xmas and came up with a great one for the Marketing profession:
Consumers Understand New Trends
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Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
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30-something manager with a predilection for creating bizzare acronyms:
Training Will Always Triumph
Always Reward Staff Excellence
Better Under Managers Focus Upon Collecting Knowledge
Edit/ I was discussing these over dinner just after Xmas and came up with a great one for the Marketing profession:
Consumers Understand New Trends
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Job Interviews
Que?
I once interviewed a young Spanish girl for a customer service position:
Q: I'm going to ask you a few questions from this sheet, OK?
A: Yes
Q: Tell me what experience you have had (etc)
A: Yes
Q: Do you understand a word I'm saying?
A: Yes
Q: You don't do you?
A: Yes
Q: Have you ever smuggled cocaine through customs?
A: Yes
Q: I really don't think you're suitable for this position and I resent you for wasting my time
A: Yes
And the shortest one ever: A candidate arrived THREE HOURS LATE, and when asked why she hadn't phoned she said she hadn't thought of that. I sent her home.
Size doesn't matter....
(Sun 23rd Jan 2005, 23:47, More)
Que?
I once interviewed a young Spanish girl for a customer service position:
Q: I'm going to ask you a few questions from this sheet, OK?
A: Yes
Q: Tell me what experience you have had (etc)
A: Yes
Q: Do you understand a word I'm saying?
A: Yes
Q: You don't do you?
A: Yes
Q: Have you ever smuggled cocaine through customs?
A: Yes
Q: I really don't think you're suitable for this position and I resent you for wasting my time
A: Yes
And the shortest one ever: A candidate arrived THREE HOURS LATE, and when asked why she hadn't phoned she said she hadn't thought of that. I sent her home.
Size doesn't matter....
(Sun 23rd Jan 2005, 23:47, More)
» Job Interviews
And your name is..?
A mate of mine was interviewing this bloke for a job in his book shop. The candidate's name was Mohammed Mohammed Mohammed.
Q: So what do you like to be called then?
A: Mohammed
(Thu 20th Jan 2005, 21:50, More)
And your name is..?
A mate of mine was interviewing this bloke for a job in his book shop. The candidate's name was Mohammed Mohammed Mohammed.
Q: So what do you like to be called then?
A: Mohammed
(Thu 20th Jan 2005, 21:50, More)
» The Police II
A roasted pea...
A few years back, a bunch of us from work had taken over a couple of pub benches one evening and were enjoying a pre-party appertif. Out of the blue about a dozen plain clothes police raided our tables; seems they had witnessed one of our number - who we shall call Mr X - purchasing what they like to call "certain substances" earlier that day.
Mr X, who had indeed scored (and had been banging on about it all afternoon at work), held up one hand, put the other into the small pocket that's above the normal pocket on his jeans (a tad off topic, but if anyone knows what that stupid little pocket is for I'd love to know), and said something like:
"It's me, I've got an eighth in my pocket..."
A panic stricken look crossed his face and he started patting his pockets frantically, in the manner of someone who has lost their car keys.
"...er...", he continued
A couple of officers took him to one side, and the rest insisted on searching everyone else present. For some reason the quite nice-looking WPC wouldn't pat me down, no matter how nicely I asked her...
Since we were all clean, we were allowed to go. Mr X, on the other hand, was taken to the station and searched again. Thoroughly.
About four hours later, Mr X finally found his way to the party to which we had all been headed. It turns out, of course, that he had lost his gear earlier in the day, making him the only person I know to be arrested for NOT HAVING ANY DRUGS.
(Tue 10th May 2011, 13:47, More)
A roasted pea...
A few years back, a bunch of us from work had taken over a couple of pub benches one evening and were enjoying a pre-party appertif. Out of the blue about a dozen plain clothes police raided our tables; seems they had witnessed one of our number - who we shall call Mr X - purchasing what they like to call "certain substances" earlier that day.
Mr X, who had indeed scored (and had been banging on about it all afternoon at work), held up one hand, put the other into the small pocket that's above the normal pocket on his jeans (a tad off topic, but if anyone knows what that stupid little pocket is for I'd love to know), and said something like:
"It's me, I've got an eighth in my pocket..."
A panic stricken look crossed his face and he started patting his pockets frantically, in the manner of someone who has lost their car keys.
"...er...", he continued
A couple of officers took him to one side, and the rest insisted on searching everyone else present. For some reason the quite nice-looking WPC wouldn't pat me down, no matter how nicely I asked her...
Since we were all clean, we were allowed to go. Mr X, on the other hand, was taken to the station and searched again. Thoroughly.
About four hours later, Mr X finally found his way to the party to which we had all been headed. It turns out, of course, that he had lost his gear earlier in the day, making him the only person I know to be arrested for NOT HAVING ANY DRUGS.
(Tue 10th May 2011, 13:47, More)
» The Police
I usually favour brevity, however....
A few years back, a bunch of us from work had taken over a couple of pub benches one evening and were enjoying a pre-party appertif. Out of the blue about a dozen plain clothes police raided our tables; seems they had witnessed one of our number - who we shall call Mr X - purchasing what they like to call "certain substances" earlier that day.
Mr X, who had indeed scored (and had been banging on about it all afternoon at work), held up one hand, put the other into the small pocket that's above the normal pocket on his jeans (a tad off topic, but if anyone knows what that stupid little pocket is for I'd love to know), and said something like:
"It's me, I've got an eighth in my pocket..."
A panic stricken look crossed his face and he started patting his pockets frantically, in the manner of someone who has lost their car keys.
"...er...", he continued
A couple of officers took him to one side, and the rest insisted on searching everyone else present. For some reason the quite nice-looking WPC wouldn't pat me down, no matter how nicely I asked her...
Since we were all clean, we were allowed to go. Mr X, on the other hand, was taken to the station and searched again. Thoroughly.
About four hours later, Mr X finally found his way to the party to which we had all been headed. It turns out, of course, that he had lost his gear earlier in the day, making him the only person I know to be arrested for NOT HAVING ANY DRUGS.
(Fri 23rd Sep 2005, 22:19, More)
I usually favour brevity, however....
A few years back, a bunch of us from work had taken over a couple of pub benches one evening and were enjoying a pre-party appertif. Out of the blue about a dozen plain clothes police raided our tables; seems they had witnessed one of our number - who we shall call Mr X - purchasing what they like to call "certain substances" earlier that day.
Mr X, who had indeed scored (and had been banging on about it all afternoon at work), held up one hand, put the other into the small pocket that's above the normal pocket on his jeans (a tad off topic, but if anyone knows what that stupid little pocket is for I'd love to know), and said something like:
"It's me, I've got an eighth in my pocket..."
A panic stricken look crossed his face and he started patting his pockets frantically, in the manner of someone who has lost their car keys.
"...er...", he continued
A couple of officers took him to one side, and the rest insisted on searching everyone else present. For some reason the quite nice-looking WPC wouldn't pat me down, no matter how nicely I asked her...
Since we were all clean, we were allowed to go. Mr X, on the other hand, was taken to the station and searched again. Thoroughly.
About four hours later, Mr X finally found his way to the party to which we had all been headed. It turns out, of course, that he had lost his gear earlier in the day, making him the only person I know to be arrested for NOT HAVING ANY DRUGS.
(Fri 23rd Sep 2005, 22:19, More)
» Losing Your Virginity
On a farm in South Wales
There was no-one about, only me and ewe
(Fri 4th Mar 2005, 17:24, More)
On a farm in South Wales
There was no-one about, only me and ewe
(Fri 4th Mar 2005, 17:24, More)