» Claims to Fame

Haven't washed since
I showed Felicity Kendall how to use my bank's new ATM. She was so excited she grabbed my arm. It just made her complete loveliness even more complete.(sigh)
(Thu 24th Feb 2005, 15:10, More)

» I just don't get it

I've never really understood...
1)why almost everything happens "at the end of the day"
2) the point of Mick Hucknell
3)where all the light in the room goes when you turn off the switch
(Tue 5th Apr 2005, 17:08, More)

» "You're doing it wrong"

Culinary Cnut
Being a bit of a gastro-snob I have maintained for years that black olives are superior in every way to those nasty bitter green ones and only a prat would ever grow the greenies. About two years ago I learned from Rick Stein's telly programme that the blacks are ripe green ones. My face? Red as a ripe anything else.
(Thu 15th Jul 2010, 18:12, More)

» Foot in Mouth Syndrome II

I blame the demon drink
The day before my leaving 'do' from the branch of Barclays, I had learned about proportional representation and immediately recognised it as the cure for all political ills.
Clearly I couldn't keep this discovery to myself so spent the evening of my 'do' explaining all about it, at considerable err...length, to a friend of a friend who had turned up. I enjoyed his company and suggested we could meet after work one evening to continue.
'Where do you work then?'
'I'm studying politics at the London School of Economics'.
Only really hit me the next morning but there has been plenty of blushage since.
(Tue 21st Aug 2012, 12:39, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

Financial Advisers
Let us suppose you want to put some money away for the future. Let us suppose it is £1,000. Your adviser will be paid ten times as much if he/she gets you to do it as 12 X £80 than as a one-off investment of a grand.
(Wed 3rd Oct 2007, 13:37, More)