Profile for DiamonKn:
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- a member for 19 years, 3 months and 7 days
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- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
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- has posted 10 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 65 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 24 qotw answers.
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» My computer gave away my secrets
Caught!
About 2 years ago now, I'd been chatting to this dirty old mint for a few months on MSN.
Nice enough gal, but fucking hanging, however one hell of a filthy mind! if I remember right she was about 49 at the time, however she loved to go on webcam and ping one out in full view.
More comic value than erotic.
So move on a bit and I'm at home one afternoon watching the footy with friend and messing about on the PC, when she pops up with Hi on MSN, we get chatting and she inevitably suggests her going on webcam and giving me a show! I try to say it's ok, however my friend notices and say go on let's have a look.
So banter insues and we are treated to a 49 year old whale pleasuring herself with a large blue dildo.
At the time my connection was not very good and the FPS was terrible, after a few minutes watching I suddenly see her legs close in a jerky slow fashion considering the connection speed, as she moved in a sidewards fashion out of shot and the connection is lost.
Fair enough, 20 minutes later she is back and I asked what happened? It turns out that whilst she was thrashing one out for all to see on her webcam, her 19 year old daughter walked in the room!
God I would have loved to hear that conversation! "Muummm!, what are you doing?"
Don't speak to her anymore
(Fri 10th Feb 2006, 15:24, More)
Caught!
About 2 years ago now, I'd been chatting to this dirty old mint for a few months on MSN.
Nice enough gal, but fucking hanging, however one hell of a filthy mind! if I remember right she was about 49 at the time, however she loved to go on webcam and ping one out in full view.
More comic value than erotic.
So move on a bit and I'm at home one afternoon watching the footy with friend and messing about on the PC, when she pops up with Hi on MSN, we get chatting and she inevitably suggests her going on webcam and giving me a show! I try to say it's ok, however my friend notices and say go on let's have a look.
So banter insues and we are treated to a 49 year old whale pleasuring herself with a large blue dildo.
At the time my connection was not very good and the FPS was terrible, after a few minutes watching I suddenly see her legs close in a jerky slow fashion considering the connection speed, as she moved in a sidewards fashion out of shot and the connection is lost.
Fair enough, 20 minutes later she is back and I asked what happened? It turns out that whilst she was thrashing one out for all to see on her webcam, her 19 year old daughter walked in the room!
God I would have loved to hear that conversation! "Muummm!, what are you doing?"
Don't speak to her anymore
(Fri 10th Feb 2006, 15:24, More)
» Other people's diaries
Not something for 10am on a Wednesday morning
I sort of do a touch of semi helpdesk support for people in my office, a few weeks ago one girl called Anne was having a few troubles with her e-mail, so I duly went over to investigate.
1st you need to picture Anne, mid 30's about 5 2" quite overweight, corn beef legs with no calves, severely thick glasses and she is still dressed by her mum in cardigans and the like with a reminiscent of Noel's house party to boot!
Anyways I digress, I sat at her machine and her inbox had auto preview enabled on trying to locate the problem I could not help but notice the conversation that was going on with her and I can only assume some guy she was seeing, only caught a slight glimpse, however that was enough and I had to severely bite my tongue, fix the problem and run away. It was along these lines
Anne: It's really hot and uncomfortable in the office at the moment, especially with this annoying itchy thrush I have xx
BF: It's ok babe, just imagine me blowing cool air over your itchy cunt right now, which should make you feel better xx
I nearly died!
(Fri 2nd Feb 2007, 16:43, More)
Not something for 10am on a Wednesday morning
I sort of do a touch of semi helpdesk support for people in my office, a few weeks ago one girl called Anne was having a few troubles with her e-mail, so I duly went over to investigate.
1st you need to picture Anne, mid 30's about 5 2" quite overweight, corn beef legs with no calves, severely thick glasses and she is still dressed by her mum in cardigans and the like with a reminiscent of Noel's house party to boot!
Anyways I digress, I sat at her machine and her inbox had auto preview enabled on trying to locate the problem I could not help but notice the conversation that was going on with her and I can only assume some guy she was seeing, only caught a slight glimpse, however that was enough and I had to severely bite my tongue, fix the problem and run away. It was along these lines
Anne: It's really hot and uncomfortable in the office at the moment, especially with this annoying itchy thrush I have xx
BF: It's ok babe, just imagine me blowing cool air over your itchy cunt right now, which should make you feel better xx
I nearly died!
(Fri 2nd Feb 2007, 16:43, More)
» Awesome Sickies
Only a few
Was off work for 5 days without notifying anyone, got called into the office on my return and said I had been to France the previous weekend and been arrested for mistaken identity! They bought it mind.
Had 2 weeks off, said I was coughing up blood, and advised work that it was due to a crap saucepan where the Teflon was peeling away it mixed with my food and had cut me internally!
Worked on a cruise liner in Germany, had deliveries one day and was so hung-over, got a call after a few hours from one of my bosses, and told him I was in my cabin being sick and felt really unwell. Very understanding and he gave me the day off, however unbeknownst to him, 6 hours earlier I had walked off ship in Cologne and was on a train back to England as couldn't be arsed anymore and when I spoke to him I was in Belgium.
Oh the shame!
(Mon 12th Jun 2006, 12:17, More)
Only a few
Was off work for 5 days without notifying anyone, got called into the office on my return and said I had been to France the previous weekend and been arrested for mistaken identity! They bought it mind.
Had 2 weeks off, said I was coughing up blood, and advised work that it was due to a crap saucepan where the Teflon was peeling away it mixed with my food and had cut me internally!
Worked on a cruise liner in Germany, had deliveries one day and was so hung-over, got a call after a few hours from one of my bosses, and told him I was in my cabin being sick and felt really unwell. Very understanding and he gave me the day off, however unbeknownst to him, 6 hours earlier I had walked off ship in Cologne and was on a train back to England as couldn't be arsed anymore and when I spoke to him I was in Belgium.
Oh the shame!
(Mon 12th Jun 2006, 12:17, More)
» Child Labour
Ashamed
I was made to get a job at Quick Save by my mother when I was 16!
Shity bloody work in a smelly shop stacking shelves with this moron called Malcolm!
3 days I lasted before I told them to stick it!
Did not want to upset my mum though, so I used to take my uniform out with me everyday and stand on it making it dirty before bringing it home for her to wash for the next day!
Cuntish I know, however what's worse I done that for 4 months!
(Tue 21st Feb 2006, 12:52, More)
Ashamed
I was made to get a job at Quick Save by my mother when I was 16!
Shity bloody work in a smelly shop stacking shelves with this moron called Malcolm!
3 days I lasted before I told them to stick it!
Did not want to upset my mum though, so I used to take my uniform out with me everyday and stand on it making it dirty before bringing it home for her to wash for the next day!
Cuntish I know, however what's worse I done that for 4 months!
(Tue 21st Feb 2006, 12:52, More)
» Never Meet Your Heroes
Don't let status go to your head!
Don't let status go to your head!
Got dragged to some chavtastic Max Power event in Birmingham a few years back.
Was incredibly pissed and waiting to buy some drinks to top up the alcohol level, when some woman barges past saying "MOVE" and stands in front of me in the queue, much to my annoyance I asked who the fuck she thought she was, only to be told "Jackie Degg, SWEETHEART, That's who"
"Good for you love, I'm in need of a pint, back of the line you rude cunt!"
Bar full of chavs looking gob smacked that I had said this to some model, and her face was a picture, to the fact that I hadn't dropped to my knees and let her through.
Spent the rest of the day twatted, arguing with chavs who had spent a fortune doing up 106's and Ford Escorts, saying they could have bought a better car for the money they had spent polishing a turd!
Oh happy days!
(Fri 26th May 2006, 14:50, More)
Don't let status go to your head!
Don't let status go to your head!
Got dragged to some chavtastic Max Power event in Birmingham a few years back.
Was incredibly pissed and waiting to buy some drinks to top up the alcohol level, when some woman barges past saying "MOVE" and stands in front of me in the queue, much to my annoyance I asked who the fuck she thought she was, only to be told "Jackie Degg, SWEETHEART, That's who"
"Good for you love, I'm in need of a pint, back of the line you rude cunt!"
Bar full of chavs looking gob smacked that I had said this to some model, and her face was a picture, to the fact that I hadn't dropped to my knees and let her through.
Spent the rest of the day twatted, arguing with chavs who had spent a fortune doing up 106's and Ford Escorts, saying they could have bought a better car for the money they had spent polishing a turd!
Oh happy days!
(Fri 26th May 2006, 14:50, More)