» Urban Legends

Fairy Queen vs County Council
I have convinced my 5 year old daughter that when the tooth fairy swaps a tooth for money. the tooth does not go to making the fairy queens castle. What really happens is the fairy sells the teeth to the local county council, the white teeth are then crunched up and used to make the white lines on the road, any bad teeth are crunched up to make the yellow lines on the road... what am i talking about this IS what happens...
(Fri 6th Jan 2006, 10:26, More)

» On the stage

well it's not quite a story...
My 5 year old daughter has her nativity soon.

I keep asking her to tell me about "the little baby cheeses" in the hope that when she does her speaking part cheeses are mentioned... Am I cruel... [email protected]
(Fri 2nd Dec 2005, 12:07, More)

» Out of my depth

Bsc Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence at Sussex University
I think it was the Algorithmics exam - I sat for 45 minutes doing nothing, opened the answer booklet drew a small circle, two dots for eyes and a downturned mouth, then got up and left.
(Fri 15th Oct 2004, 12:03, More)

» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

Coned as a stunt
many friends all together.
much fun.
much drinking.
much smoking.
many games of Grass.

the munchies set in....

Like the muppet I am I offered to go the local pub to get crisps...

Jump into little white mini, speed up road, stop outside pub. Go in...

Crisps please mr barman..
Yes sir what would you like

10 salt and vinegar
10 ready salted
5 cheese and onion
have you got any bacon? no
chicken? yes
10 please

can't recall quite how much it all cost, can recall the offer of a carrier bag and going back out to find the car 'parked' some 4 foot from the curb.
(Thu 15th Dec 2005, 12:15, More)

» Inappropriate crushes

shame
Pam Ferris - as Ma Larkin in the darling buds of may...

coat
(Wed 4th Oct 2006, 22:36, More)