b3ta.com user bigquack
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Hello. Only me.

If you are looking for something else to do to occupy your time, may I be so bold as to point you in the direction of the Kingdom of Loathing - an adventure game very much in the olden style.

Alternatively, there is always Urban Dead, an online zombiefest!

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Best answers to questions:

» Best Graffiti Ever

Terror-ible
In the lifts of the MoD headquarters in London (before they moved to their swanky new offices off Whitehall) there was a sign, in star wars intro style, listing all the prominent terror groups round the world in a 'be vigilant' sort of way.

Some wag only added "The People's Front of Judea" to the top of the list...
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 21:05, More)

» School Sports Day

For the high jump.
Not being particularly athletically inclined at school I was, for some reason, put into the high-jump competition.

All well and good thinks I - some minor humiliation as I exit the competition early on. I was rather worried though about the school equipment though - the high-jump bar was of a rather solid steel construction and looked a lot like scaffolding.

I run up. I attempt the 'scissors' technique that pre-dates the fosbury flop. I cock up and execute a rather fine flying kick.

Bruce Lee himself would have been proud as I made contact with the bar, kicking it sideways into the side of one of the guys standing beside it (waiting to reset the jump for the next person). He screams in pain. And then screams some more as the support pole for the high-jump falls onto his head.

Oh well. Never got made to do that again.
(Mon 3rd Apr 2006, 11:28, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

One of my favourites...
Never ceases to amuse me for some reason.


(Thu 3rd May 2007, 21:26, More)

» Accidental innuendo

My mother...
...has recently discovered the joys of cocktail mixing. Her particular favourite is a margarita which, to do it 'right' needs the edge of the glass to be coated in sugar.

This, however, does not excuse her from proudly stating to a room of family members "when I first started doing it there were big clumps, but now I'm an expert rimmer".
(Thu 12th Jun 2008, 21:27, More)

» Jobsworths

I was a bit of a jobsworth the other day...
...friend of mine wanted a cup of tea but I wouldn't get him one as he didn't have his headphones on whilst masturbating furiously.
(Fri 13th May 2005, 15:30, More)
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