» Shame

I thought I was right at the time
I used to drive a cab and this is MY biggest shame

I pick up this guy and take him a short distance...the fare is only $2.05...he gives me $3 and I give him his 95 cents in change...half an hour later I get called to pick him up and take him home...$2.05...he gives me $3 and I give him 95 cents in change

Once again I get called to pick him up and to take him to the same place...$2.05...he gives me $3 and I give him 95 cents in change...now I'm getting pissed off...I can hear all my change jingling in his pocket and he keeps taking all my change...soon I'll have to go make a special trip to get more

An hour later I get called to get him yet again...$2.05...he gives me $3 and I hand him $1 bill back and tell him it's bad enough you aren't tipping but taking all my change is too much...this one time I'm eating the nickel take this dollar back and um...sit on it(I might of been more explicit)

BTW You have to understand this is one of the biggest pet peeves of a cabby...a fare who keeps taking all your change...some people do it to you as sport...sometimes it's 3am and you have to drive MILES to get more change

Five minutes later I get a call on my radio from my dispatcher asking what the hell did I do to that GIRL?(WTF!!! OH GOD NO!!!)...SHE called in crying saying I was mean to HER!

To make things worse(and yes they get way worse)...not only was she a young girl but she was mentally challenged...she was not trying to jerk me around with the change thing...she had been given a handfull of dollar bills and told to give the cabby three of them and he'd give you change...she had not the slightest idea how to make change

Wait it's even worse...the place I had been taking her to was a center where she could go to be with others like herself and socialize without people making fun of her or picking on her and now she was afraid to go anymore because the cabby might yell at her

I have never in my life felt more like shit than I did after he explained all this to me...years later I still feel badly about it
(Fri 25th Nov 2005, 16:02, More)

» Running away

It was an honest misunderstanding
When I was three years old I lived on a farm with my Grandparents

My Grandpa was milking the cows and I was "helping"...too much so and he tells me to "get lost"....after about ten minutes of peace and quiet he gets worried and decided to check on me...he gets to the end of the barn and off in the distance about a quarter of a mile was me walking off into the woods

He quickly removed the milkers off the cows and went after me...once there he's all ready to have a conniption fit and he asks me why I was going into the woods and I tell him..."You told me to get lost!"

That got him laughing so I thought I wasn't in any trouble but once we got back to the barn he picks me up and sticks me on a hook on a door...he hung me from the back of my coat two feet off the ground so I couldn't pester him or run off again while he finished milking
(Sat 12th Aug 2006, 3:26, More)

» Shame

The scent of lust
First semester of college...I'm living in a co-ed dorm and on my own for the first time

There is this girl in the same dorm I have had some very explicit fantasies about...we have a dorm dance and despite my being so very shy at the time and practically hiding against the wall most of the evening during the song where the girls ask the guys to dance she picks ME!

A long slow dance...couldn't of been more perfect!

The next night about 3am...I can't sleep so I decide to go down to the lounge in just my robe to watch some TV...I'm on the second floor and as I'm going down the stairway...I have to let go a massive fart...I figure most everyone else is sleeping at this hour so I don't hold back

By the time I'm done the sound is still echoing up and down the stairway and dogs blocks away are howling from the noise...I take about two more steps when who should be coming UP the same stairs but my fantasy lady

There's no lying about what I had just done...in fact in a few more steps she would be enveloped in the noxious cloud still floating around me and know I did it

So I did the only thing a rational male of that age could do...I fled like the I was being chased by a madman with a chainsaw past her with my robe flapping behind me and for the next semester hid from her until I could move off campus
(Fri 25th Nov 2005, 16:46, More)

» Shame

Oh the shame of it all
A friend and I were barhopping one night and we decided to get some food so we stopped at a Greek restaurant...there was no one there but us so the waitress came and sat with us while we ate and we flirted with her

Come time for the bill she brings my friend HIS bill but on MY bill is just her name and phone number(while we had been eating she had told us she was off work in just a few minutes)...he goes to pay and I immediately bolt out of the restaurant and am thinking "Oh wow she forgot to charge me!"

It wasn't until we had walked about three blocks away when my alcohol fogged brain realized what that note meant...by then of course it was impossible for me to come up with a good enough excuse why I left so suddenly that she'd of accepted

BTW My friend almost died laughing when I showed him the note...which of course made me feel sooooo much better

Damn it she was cute too!
(Fri 25th Nov 2005, 16:27, More)

» School Trips

When I was in grade school...about 10 years old
I joined the Safety Patrol...the idea was they'd give some of the kids a neon orange sash and have us stand at intersections by the school and make sure the smaller kids crossed the street safely

I got drafted into doing it as I had a rep back then as a trouble maker and it was thought some responsibility would be good for me but what they never considered was giving me some power was a mistake(think what happens to normal people with absolute power then think what a kid who suddenly gets even a little power...a kid who had no business with any power at all)

I would stop trucks and make them sit while there were kids a hundred feet away who might or might not decide to cross at my intersection but I felt it was better to be safe than sorry...anyway this part of the story doesn't really concern the QOTW

As a reward for "volunteering" to be in the Safety Patrol all of us got to go to a tourist town an hour away where we would get to spend the day riding roller coasters and having fun

But first the teacher who was watching over us all wanted to ride the "Ducks"...this was a waterproof bus that could also run in the water as a boat...it took us on all the sights and then into the river where we looked at tons of rocks...needless to say by the time we came to the end all the kids were bored out of our minds

To get out though we had to pass through a souvenir shop where most of the kids bought candy and picture cards but I was entranced with a six foot rubber snake that was selling for only $2...without anyone noticing I made my purchase but I didn't know right then what I was going to do with it until later when we were forced into a "House of Horrors"...yeah the teacher thought it would be fun but it was just a dark couple of rooms with fake scenes set up supposedly to frighten us

It worked better than she hoped because while in there I had an idea to spice things up...I took my rubber snake(it was formed into a coil like it was about to strike) and I unwound it and placed it around this girl's neck

She began to scream because once I let go it coiled back up and she thought it was alive...her screaming got the other kids all scared and running into walls...everyone was looking for the exit in the dark and bouncing off each other yelling...the commotion finally got the attention of the guy running this particular attraction and he opened the door and when everyone saw the light from the door they rushed over knocking him down and getting him trampled by about 30 kids(and two teachers)

Since I was the only one laughing hysterically I was quickly pronounced the guilty party and my poor snake was confiscated

I was punished in the worst possible way...from somewhere the teacher found a thick cord and tied us together by our wrists for the rest of the day so no roller coaster for me since she didn't like them..no go carts because they were one person vehicles and tied together we didn't fit

Actually it didn't turn out all that bad since she wasn't that bad of a person and we ended up getting along pretty well but she still didn't untie us until we were getting on the bus to go home
(Fri 8th Dec 2006, 19:34, More)