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» Evil Pranks
Not entirely evil...
I'm in my first term of uni, and i have a big rugby playing second year on my corridoor in my halls.
He decided to initiate us with many pranks, including the general turning-upside-down of everything in your room, removal of furniture when you're pissed, etc...
Anyway, he went away for the weekend, we got a rather small friend to climb through his window, and we decided to cover his room in tin foil.
What started off as a small prank quickly escalated.
Within 2 hours we had over 20 people working in the room, including several parents who had come to see the hall play.
Over 1km of tin foil was used and everything from his ceiling, down to individual drawing pins on his poster board was covered. My favourite touch was a pencil case in which every pencil was individually wrapped. Like i said, it wasn't entirely evil, but reflection of heat and al that physics malarkey means that its either absolutely boiling, or arctic in there.
i82.photobucket.com/albums/j260/Luke2442/foil1.jpg
i82.photobucket.com/albums/j260/Luke2442/foil3.jpg
i82.photobucket.com/albums/j260/Luke2442/foil2.jpg
length? 20 people, 6 hours, and over 1 kilometer.
(Thu 13th Dec 2007, 20:27, More)
Not entirely evil...
I'm in my first term of uni, and i have a big rugby playing second year on my corridoor in my halls.
He decided to initiate us with many pranks, including the general turning-upside-down of everything in your room, removal of furniture when you're pissed, etc...
Anyway, he went away for the weekend, we got a rather small friend to climb through his window, and we decided to cover his room in tin foil.
What started off as a small prank quickly escalated.
Within 2 hours we had over 20 people working in the room, including several parents who had come to see the hall play.
Over 1km of tin foil was used and everything from his ceiling, down to individual drawing pins on his poster board was covered. My favourite touch was a pencil case in which every pencil was individually wrapped. Like i said, it wasn't entirely evil, but reflection of heat and al that physics malarkey means that its either absolutely boiling, or arctic in there.
i82.photobucket.com/albums/j260/Luke2442/foil1.jpg
i82.photobucket.com/albums/j260/Luke2442/foil3.jpg
i82.photobucket.com/albums/j260/Luke2442/foil2.jpg
length? 20 people, 6 hours, and over 1 kilometer.
(Thu 13th Dec 2007, 20:27, More)
» Crap meals out
COCKHOLSTER
A friend of mine once used to work in a greasy spoon in the city. Naturally he would come across many lovely folks, and several uptight businessmen.
One day, a particularly uptight businessman with severe penis compensation issues decided to have breakfast there, throughout the course of which he managed to be so howwible to his female waitress that she was found crying in the back room.
The cockwaggler then asked where the toilet was.
Revenge.
My friend coated the doorhandle to the toilet in chilli powder, before he arrived to it.
The man proceeds to open it, unzip his fly and cover his unprotected manhood in hot-as-fuck-turkish-owned-greasy-spoon-chilli-powder.
He sat back down again, uneasy in his seat, before letting out an almighty yelp, and running back to the toilet.
Brilliant!
Apologies for my small willy
(Tue 2nd May 2006, 21:39, More)
COCKHOLSTER
A friend of mine once used to work in a greasy spoon in the city. Naturally he would come across many lovely folks, and several uptight businessmen.
One day, a particularly uptight businessman with severe penis compensation issues decided to have breakfast there, throughout the course of which he managed to be so howwible to his female waitress that she was found crying in the back room.
The cockwaggler then asked where the toilet was.
Revenge.
My friend coated the doorhandle to the toilet in chilli powder, before he arrived to it.
The man proceeds to open it, unzip his fly and cover his unprotected manhood in hot-as-fuck-turkish-owned-greasy-spoon-chilli-powder.
He sat back down again, uneasy in his seat, before letting out an almighty yelp, and running back to the toilet.
Brilliant!
Apologies for my small willy
(Tue 2nd May 2006, 21:39, More)
» Stupid Dares
A friend of mine when we had finished our AS levels...
After a moderately heavy night in Sloane Square was dared to jump from a street sign to a lamp post. Being a keen rock-climber and extreme sports enthusiast he happily obliged, mounting the sign and promptly launching himself to the lamp post. It had been raining.
He caught the lamp post with his hands and as he attempted to plant his feet onto it, they slipped either side. His nether-regions took a fairly hefty blow on the post and he collapsed on the floor, rather white and promptly had a feel down below. Pulls his hand from his trousers to be confronted with blood.
Oh dear.
We take him to hospital and call his parents. 2 hours later at 1.30am a rather disgruntled father arrives. 6 hours later my friend is attended to by doctors. (At this point i am lying clutching my stomach outside due to drinking roughly 7 cans of budget tesco red bull. )
He is promptly told he has ruptured his urethra and must be admitted. Catheter and codeine follow.
Now, the funny thing about rupturing your urethra is that if you get an erection, you bleed to death.
Never would one have thought that having beautiful nurses tending to your nether-regions could ever be a bad thing, but luckily he kept it under control.
The tube healed up eventually, but due to overdeveloped scar-tissue, he was unable to piss without enduring agony.
The NHS suggested two methods of surgery to correct this:
i)they slice it all the way down the middle and fix the problem before sewing up either side.
Ii)they slice it off completely at the point of problem, remove the tissue and reattach.
7 months later, (and sooo many man points), he has surgery to finally correct the issue with a private surgeon (funnily enough) who suggested keyhole surgery.
Length? Pretty impressive considering...
(Wed 7th Nov 2007, 21:38, More)
A friend of mine when we had finished our AS levels...
After a moderately heavy night in Sloane Square was dared to jump from a street sign to a lamp post. Being a keen rock-climber and extreme sports enthusiast he happily obliged, mounting the sign and promptly launching himself to the lamp post. It had been raining.
He caught the lamp post with his hands and as he attempted to plant his feet onto it, they slipped either side. His nether-regions took a fairly hefty blow on the post and he collapsed on the floor, rather white and promptly had a feel down below. Pulls his hand from his trousers to be confronted with blood.
Oh dear.
We take him to hospital and call his parents. 2 hours later at 1.30am a rather disgruntled father arrives. 6 hours later my friend is attended to by doctors. (At this point i am lying clutching my stomach outside due to drinking roughly 7 cans of budget tesco red bull. )
He is promptly told he has ruptured his urethra and must be admitted. Catheter and codeine follow.
Now, the funny thing about rupturing your urethra is that if you get an erection, you bleed to death.
Never would one have thought that having beautiful nurses tending to your nether-regions could ever be a bad thing, but luckily he kept it under control.
The tube healed up eventually, but due to overdeveloped scar-tissue, he was unable to piss without enduring agony.
The NHS suggested two methods of surgery to correct this:
i)they slice it all the way down the middle and fix the problem before sewing up either side.
Ii)they slice it off completely at the point of problem, remove the tissue and reattach.
7 months later, (and sooo many man points), he has surgery to finally correct the issue with a private surgeon (funnily enough) who suggested keyhole surgery.
Length? Pretty impressive considering...
(Wed 7th Nov 2007, 21:38, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
Chyea, they exist...
What do you call a black man who flies an aeroplane?
A pilot you fucking racist.
(Sun 5th Mar 2006, 14:49, More)
Chyea, they exist...
What do you call a black man who flies an aeroplane?
A pilot you fucking racist.
(Sun 5th Mar 2006, 14:49, More)
» I Hurt My Rude Bits, Again
A friend of mine when we had finished our AS levels...
A quick pea from me...
After a moderately heavy night in Sloane Square was dared to jump from a street sign to a lamp post. Being a keen rock-climber and extreme sports enthusiast he happily obliged, mounting the sign and promptly launching himself to the lamp post. It had been raining.
He caught the lamp post with his hands and as he attempted to plant his feet onto it, they slipped either side. His nether-regions took a fairly hefty blow on the post and he collapsed on the floor, rather white and promptly had a feel down below. Pulls his hand from his trousers to be confronted with blood.
Oh dear.
We take him to hospital and call his parents. 2 hours later at 1.30am a rather disgruntled father arrives. 6 hours later my friend is attended to by doctors. (At this point i am lying clutching my stomach outside due to drinking roughly 7 cans of budget tesco red bull. )
He is promptly told he has ruptured his urethra and must be admitted. Catheter and codeine follow.
Now, the funny thing about rupturing your urethra is that if you get an erection, you bleed to death.
Never would one have thought that having beautiful nurses tending to your nether-regions could ever be a bad thing, but luckily he kept it under control.
The tube healed up eventually, but due to overdeveloped scar-tissue, he was unable to piss without enduring agony.
The NHS suggested two methods of surgery to correct this:
i)they slice it all the way down the middle and fix the problem before sewing up either side.
Ii)they slice it off completely at the point of problem, remove the tissue and reattach.
7 months later, (and sooo many man points), he has surgery to finally correct the issue with a private surgeon (funnily enough) who suggested keyhole surgery.
Length? Pretty impressive considering...
(Tue 12th Mar 2013, 17:34, More)
A friend of mine when we had finished our AS levels...
A quick pea from me...
After a moderately heavy night in Sloane Square was dared to jump from a street sign to a lamp post. Being a keen rock-climber and extreme sports enthusiast he happily obliged, mounting the sign and promptly launching himself to the lamp post. It had been raining.
He caught the lamp post with his hands and as he attempted to plant his feet onto it, they slipped either side. His nether-regions took a fairly hefty blow on the post and he collapsed on the floor, rather white and promptly had a feel down below. Pulls his hand from his trousers to be confronted with blood.
Oh dear.
We take him to hospital and call his parents. 2 hours later at 1.30am a rather disgruntled father arrives. 6 hours later my friend is attended to by doctors. (At this point i am lying clutching my stomach outside due to drinking roughly 7 cans of budget tesco red bull. )
He is promptly told he has ruptured his urethra and must be admitted. Catheter and codeine follow.
Now, the funny thing about rupturing your urethra is that if you get an erection, you bleed to death.
Never would one have thought that having beautiful nurses tending to your nether-regions could ever be a bad thing, but luckily he kept it under control.
The tube healed up eventually, but due to overdeveloped scar-tissue, he was unable to piss without enduring agony.
The NHS suggested two methods of surgery to correct this:
i)they slice it all the way down the middle and fix the problem before sewing up either side.
Ii)they slice it off completely at the point of problem, remove the tissue and reattach.
7 months later, (and sooo many man points), he has surgery to finally correct the issue with a private surgeon (funnily enough) who suggested keyhole surgery.
Length? Pretty impressive considering...
(Tue 12th Mar 2013, 17:34, More)