» Cheating cheaty cheats

Lisa Warren
Lisa was my partner in crime when it came to the weekly spelling test. You had to swap your list with the person opposite, and mark each others spellings. We both got 20 out of 20...every week.....for the whole year.

It was only in the final year of middle school I began to fancy her like mad.
She pinched my bottom once - really made my day! We were only 11 so it seemed WELL SAUCY.
(Thu 17th Nov 2005, 13:52, More)

» Road Rage

Don't mess with a Tree Surgeon
A friend of mine, John, is a tree surgeon. One day he pulls out from his driveway, going a bit slowly as its a big van. Some guy bombing along swerves to avoid him, then stops suddenly, obviously to have a go at him.

John sees the guy then bend down to pick something off the floor of his car (baseball bat perchance?). So John reaches round and picks up a fairly large axe, to wave out of the window.

The half-open drivers door of the car ahead suddenly slams shut, and off the guy goes...
(Fri 13th Oct 2006, 13:23, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

Mr Obee, CDT
Popped out of the acrylic store cupboard one lesson, and sang "Animal crackers in my soup."

That was it, he did nothing else abnormal. Never worked out what the song/theme he mentioned was...
(Fri 11th Nov 2005, 11:09, More)

» On the stage

Old woman's stomach on show
My mum loves 'Am Dram' and persuaded me to watch one of her shows. If I had known she was playing a belly-dancing spice girl at the age of 55 I would not have attended. All I could do was remove my glasses, and wait for it to be over.
(Wed 7th Dec 2005, 14:09, More)

» My first love

I was a fool....just like everyone else
It took me until age 16 to ask a girl out. It must have taken over an hour to get over my nerves and dial the number that night. I must have rushed my prepared sentence, as she asked me to repeat it 3 times.

Decoding the reply still haunts me to this day - she said she couldn't go out this week as she had her GCSE 'mocks' on, but i should call again next week. We chatted for a bit so it seemed OK. But did "not this week" mean "yes" or "no" in reality?

So next week...What did I do? Agonised for hours, then finally admitted I didn't have the courage to call again as it got later and later. TWAT.
In my defence, a few days later I did manage to make myself dial the number...but it was engaged. And that was the end of it.
(Well, apart from mentally beating myself up over it every single day, and trying to avoid her gaze every Saturday at the sailing club.)

14 years later, happily married (to someone else) with 2 kids....I still want to kick myself. Philippa, I am REALLY sorry....whichever way round you meant it.

And no, I will not contact her on FriendsReunited. Even though I've seen her details on there.
(Thu 20th Oct 2005, 17:28, More)