» Siblings

I almost feel sorry for my little brother...
He was used as the test dummy for whatever stupid idea me and my older brother had come up with. A few examples...

We had a cardboard box, which we decided was a car. We placed it between two sofas, designated him the mechanic and told him to get underneath and fix it. I got into the box, the bottom fell off and I landed on him.

We decided to try wrestling, as many young boys did. We came up with a move where, essentially, I would hold my little brother over my shoulder, then my older brother would pull him down, ensure a soft landing and try to make it look good. In a slight mistake, I pushed him over my shoulder slightly too soon, and he landed on his head (fortunately on grass).

When I had just learned to swing from the loft hatch, I decided to show him. I used my feet to knock on his door, started swinging, but it got a bit out of control. When he opened the door, I kicked him in the face.

Our mum told me and my older brother to get him out of bed, when he slept on the top bunk of a bunk bed. He was sleeping on top of his duvet at the foot of the bed for some reason, so we gave it a tug. We pulled a bit hard though, and he fell straight off the bed, falling about 5 feet.

And finally, we were playing rugby once, and he refused to give me the ball to start the game. I promptly picked him up by the waist and swung him round... Right into a tree. That one needed stitches.

We were little bastards.
(Thu 25th Dec 2008, 19:18, More)

» Crappy relationships

I dated a coprophiliac
That was a shitty relationship.
(Thu 21st Oct 2010, 12:37, More)

» Public Sex

It was to be our first time...
In a car, in an undisclosed area of the British Isles. We'd managed to find a deserted country road, pulled in to the side and decided to get down to the long awaited business of dispensing of our virginities.

Now, the back seat of a 1998 Ford Fiesta isn't the most capacious area. Even with the front seats pushed as far forward as possible, we had to attempt some weird contortions to get into position. At one point, I accidentally kneed myself in the face, just fairly gently. No problem, giggled a bit and carried on.

A few minutes later, and I'm nestled happily between her legs. She has her eyes closed as I tease her nipples with my tongue. Suddenly, it starts to taste a bit odd... A strangely familiar metallic taste.

I open my eyes, and there's blood EVERYWHERE. I've covered the poor girl's chest in it, it's started to drip down onto the seat. Turns out the knee to the face did a bit more damage than I thought, and my nose is pissing blood at a terrific rate. I was unable to stop myself pissing myself laughing. This caused her to open her eyes, and witness the carnage.

The sight of her stood next to the car, desperately trying to wash her tits with a small bottle of water is stuck with me forever. I was still too busy laughing to help. Needless to say, there was no sex that day.
(Fri 24th Apr 2009, 18:03, More)

» Bullies

A bully made me fear myself...
There is nothing funny here.

I was bullied all the way through school. I'm told it started when I was at a playgroup, aged about 2, none of the other kids would let me play with them for some reason. It got gradually worse through primary school and secondary school.

One of the worst offenders, we'll call M. He moved into my primary school in around year 4, went to the same secondary school as me and spent much of his time trying to make me miserable. I would be punched, insulted, laughed at, I had my friends turned against me.

One day, I snapped. At the morning break time, he came up and punched me on the arm without provocation. Until that day, I'd just accepted it all and ignored it. I don't know what changed then, but the next thing I knew, I'd shoved him into a wall and I was gripping his windpipe with my right hand, squeezing hard.

I didn't say anything, I just stared into his eyes with a face full of hatred, watching him attempt to breathe and fail (I'd entirely closed his windpipe). His eyes were filled with fear. I know I held on a long time as he started to go purple. I have no idea how long it actually was, it felt like forever.

Eventually, I was pulled off him, and he dropped to the floor coughing and spluttering, gasping for breath. I was immediately surrounded by the other cunts congratulating me. I had to sit through an hour of geography before lunch. At lunch, I ran home and cried my eyes out, shaking for the whole hour.

Apart from play fighting with my brothers, that's the only time in my life I've ever been violent to another human being. It scared the hell out of me to know that I was capable of doing something like that, and still does. I'm also terrified to think what would have happened if I hadn't been pulled off. Would I have stopped when he passed out? Would I have stopped at all? I like to think I'd have stopped, but I really don't know, and that's the most terrifying thing of all.
(Thu 14th May 2009, 22:03, More)

» School Days

The Credit Crunch means that...
...I can only afford to answer the QOTW when it's a week out of date.
(Sat 31st Jan 2009, 11:36, More)