» Ignoring Instructions

DONT DO IT
today i got up, had a piece of toast, and went in to college. then i scratched my arse before starting the days work. after id finished my tasks i pivoted out of my cubical with a swift stylish movement of the 90 degree variety, and went home.
(Thu 4th May 2006, 17:11, More)

» Crap meals out

DOOM
my mum was relaying a news article from our local paper over dinner this evening. turns out 4 eateries in our town, after undergoing a health inspection, managed to score 0 out of 5. this basically means that these places are roach infested hell hole traps of death. i have eaten at two of them.
(Sat 29th Apr 2006, 0:33, More)

» Crap meals out

How awful
i once sat next to a girl who had ordered a meal which appeared with a carcus of mutated giant sea devil beast on it.
(Fri 28th Apr 2006, 11:53, More)

» Posh

blowy blowy
this blows big brass blow horns. This is not a comment. more of a tale of horny blowdom. once upon atime i was riding through 'the glen' as one does, when one came across the mostly unsighly of things- a huge and ghastly bag of big brass blow horns. and oh how incredibly horn like they were.
(Wed 21st Sep 2005, 14:30, More)

» Scary Neighbours

hello children.
many moons ago i lived on a certain road in a certain town. it was during the ages of 8 to about 12. the people who lived in the surrounding houses were a right medly of characters, some of them quite strange, though i didnt question their antics at the time, being young and nieve and all. some expamples:

1. they guy next door to us used to let the local kids in to his house (including me) and we would bounce around on his furniture, eating bread that we stole from the kitchen ,whilst he sat on the computer. After we were spent eating what little food he had and semi-terrorising the place, we would leave. The strange thing is I dont think i ever heard him speak. Bearing in mind we were about 10 at the time, i reflect back on this and am slighly disturbed.
2. At one point there lived a man a few houses down from me who we had dubed 'Mr Paranoid'. And oh what a psycho he was. I think the trouble started after a game of 'knock and run'. Now its all very well getting annoyed with the local kiddies playing this game on ur front door, but threatening to cut them up with a chainsaw in a particularly menacing manner everytime you manage to catch them passing your house, as a deterant to doing it again, isnt too acceptable.
3.a family down the road- mother, father, about 16 children and a few domesticated mammels thrown in for good measure. all of them GINGER. nothing wrong with ginger hair, but these people were certified inbreads. Several of the kids had funny eyes. They used to have brawls in the street outside their house.
first post. hope u wernt too bored.
whats this rubbish about length/girth/width?!!!!!
(Tue 30th Aug 2005, 15:38, More)