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- a member for 18 years, 4 months and 0 days
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» I hurt my rude bits
The Holy Grail of damaged rudebits
We were out on the local field where we had made some huge BMX jumps out of a pile of mud that appeared randomly one day, and the token "im-better-than-everyone-here-and-know-it" guy drags his bike up to the top of the run and calls for everyone to watch as he is blatently better than everyone and they should all learn something from his Uberskills. so he begins his descent, hits the first jump going full tilt launches into the air with some impressive height and dissapears out of view behind the landing followed by several unrepeatable profanities so everyone bursts out laughing as the cocky cunt stacked it and runs over to survey the cuts and grazes to find him rolling around on the floor crying and holding his bollocks, this we found even more funny, then we spotted the blood a nice slowly spreading red patch on his beige cargos eminating from his hands. turns out not only had he split his sack and dropped the ball (so to speak) but he was so scared to lose his bollocks he'd managed to leave a handshaped bruise on his member.
Divine retribution in scrotal form
(Tue 18th Jul 2006, 11:05, More)
The Holy Grail of damaged rudebits
We were out on the local field where we had made some huge BMX jumps out of a pile of mud that appeared randomly one day, and the token "im-better-than-everyone-here-and-know-it" guy drags his bike up to the top of the run and calls for everyone to watch as he is blatently better than everyone and they should all learn something from his Uberskills. so he begins his descent, hits the first jump going full tilt launches into the air with some impressive height and dissapears out of view behind the landing followed by several unrepeatable profanities so everyone bursts out laughing as the cocky cunt stacked it and runs over to survey the cuts and grazes to find him rolling around on the floor crying and holding his bollocks, this we found even more funny, then we spotted the blood a nice slowly spreading red patch on his beige cargos eminating from his hands. turns out not only had he split his sack and dropped the ball (so to speak) but he was so scared to lose his bollocks he'd managed to leave a handshaped bruise on his member.
Divine retribution in scrotal form
(Tue 18th Jul 2006, 11:05, More)
» Never Meet Your Heroes
Mine happened yesterday...
at the moment i work in a certain bookshop, and have been there for about a week when i notice we are having an event, and one of my favourite authors is coming for a signing!! so for the next few days im dancing around the store wooing and yaying and the such until he comes, i wait for an hour and a half while all the 9-12 year olds (they're well written books OK?!) line up, spend about 10 minutes chatting and laughing and having photos taken with him, and i get there, mention how i have much i have loved the first 11 books, but havent read the twelth yet and im looking forward ot it muchly, and he sits there, mid signature, looks up at me and and in a calm, uncaring voice says "It was all a dream" completely fucking ruining the last book and pissing me off no end!!
no apologies for length, but i'll you can go on top
(Wed 31st May 2006, 10:03, More)
Mine happened yesterday...
at the moment i work in a certain bookshop, and have been there for about a week when i notice we are having an event, and one of my favourite authors is coming for a signing!! so for the next few days im dancing around the store wooing and yaying and the such until he comes, i wait for an hour and a half while all the 9-12 year olds (they're well written books OK?!) line up, spend about 10 minutes chatting and laughing and having photos taken with him, and i get there, mention how i have much i have loved the first 11 books, but havent read the twelth yet and im looking forward ot it muchly, and he sits there, mid signature, looks up at me and and in a calm, uncaring voice says "It was all a dream" completely fucking ruining the last book and pissing me off no end!!
no apologies for length, but i'll you can go on top
(Wed 31st May 2006, 10:03, More)