» Encounters with Royalty

Pal Pot
A mate of mine reckoned he was sat smoking opium in a bar in Thailand with Pol Pot's brother. I have a feeling that that testifies more to the strength of the opium than the veracity of the story.
(Mon 7th Aug 2006, 10:42, More)

» Heckles

Festive
We were watching "julliet and the licks", (can't sing for sh1t but looked good in a catsuit), at leeds festival last year when my mate chose a quiet moment to yell out the, perhaps, over hopeful request: "suck my cock julliet".

cue small laugh, followed by julliet's response: "aw, thats nice, they've let some twelve year olds in".
(Thu 6th Apr 2006, 14:43, More)

» Going Too Far

Fountain
At Leeds Festival in 2005, we came across a stranger walking around with a paper cup full of piss, saying "does anyone want a drink of my special cider?" My mate, Steve, steps up and says "that's piss isn't it, I'll drink it if you do". The owner of the piss doesn't look happy at this, but his mates think its great, so force him into it. Steve takes the cup off the guy and takes a big gulp. Hands it back to the owner of the piss, who very sheepishly took a little sip.

It was taken a bit too far when Steve grabs the cup back off him, and starts gargling with it and spitting a fountain of piss in the air. And at us.
(Mon 13th Nov 2006, 13:33, More)

» Child Labour

It takes family to really exploit child labour
My father ran a coach painting garage and from the age of 12 to 16 my brother and I had to work there, every weekend and school holiday, 9 till 5. During this time I was involved in numerous incidents which health and safety would have been upset about, including close encounters with power tools, chemical burns, fires and the final straw of having a ford cargo lorry layed on my index finger whilst changing the tyre. All this for the grand sum of 2.50 a day(with a bonus £1 if I worked on till 7.30pm).

Our "salary" would accumulate over the year, all noted down in a book, until payday came in August. It was always short and it was some time before the penny dropped that payday was suspiciously close to our birthdays.......... Ended up quitting and working the night shift at Safeway, it felt like paradise by comparison.
(Tue 21st Feb 2006, 13:57, More)

» Ignoring Instructions

"Always wear gloves"
was the handy instruction on the industrial strength paint stripper tub. The sense of this should have been obvious from the claim that it could eat its way through 30 layers of paint in one go, but I thought it'll be alright, I'm not planning to get any on my hands. I did, causing the near instantanious disapearance of large chunks of skin, it hurt.

To cap it all, the alkali based paint stripper comes with an acetic acid neutraliser, i.e concentrated vinegar. A brilliant idea formed itself in my brain: "I'll neutralise the paint stripper". If you've been stupid enough to dissolve all the skin on your palm, the only thing more stupid you can do is douse it in vinegar in a bid to ease the pain.
(Fri 5th May 2006, 15:21, More)