» School fights

I'm not proud (honest)
I had two fights that really stood out in those long distant school days.

Number one:

Fist day at nursery I was playing with one of those ratchett type spinning tops when another kid who was obviously a bit of an old hand (at the grand age of three or four!) came up and snatched it off me. So I snatched it back and hit him as hard as I could with said spinning top on the head and called him something a little boy shouldnt (I was very foul mouthed - apparently my favourite game was called fucking bastards where me and a mate would just run around shouting said phrase at the tops of our voices until told to stop by a shocked adult). My Mum was mortally embarassed because I was asked not to come back! Expelled from nursery, Yay!

Number two:

In year 9 at a boys school and I had just had my arm out of plaster when this Twat called Roger came up and took it into his head that he wanted to kindly break it again for me. No I could never work out why either. I flipped and shouted 'on the field at lunch tomorrow you bastard!) Next day comes and I'm bricking it to be honest. I walk out onto the playground and see that virtually the entire school has turned out to see the bloodshed. There is Roger standing on the field surrounded by hundreds of baying boys looking like he is very much up for it. Shitting it inside I do the walk of death and stride up to him. There is a pause, and the crownd is hushed in expectation. All I wanted to do was avoid a shirt tearing, roll around on the ground affair, so I figured I would have to get in first. Faster than I ever could have expected, my right fist shot out and smacked him a right cracker in the face, I can still hear the sound. He looks suitably surprised and the blood just starts to pour out of his nose on to his shirt, he staggers back and sits on his arse. I walk away barely keeping control of my sphincter as the crowd audibly gasp and groan in sympathy. Funny thing was, I saw the head wathing from the corner of the school building and he didn't say a word and never got any comeback - I was thought of as a good lad most of the time.

There, my first post. Sorry its a bit long, but it was cathartic. Roger Hapgood, you deserved it mate, be honest, you were acting like a twat.
(Sun 12th Mar 2006, 19:44, More)

» What's the most horrific thing you've seen?

broken bones and blood
number one;

when i was 14 I was playing rugby and took a bad tackle. Now, I had broken my left arm a few times, so I knew what it felt like. I got up and looked at my left arm, which was quite frankly Bow shapped. I later discovered it had shattered into 6 pieces and had to have a pin put in. This resulted in me having an open wound with what looked like a coathanger poking out of the top of the palm of my hand. I fainted when they tried to pull it out because it had fused with the bone. Lovely.

The second:

I was 19 and the doctor finally conceded to me having my tonsils out, after years of illness. So the op went fine, but a week later when I was home with my girlfrind I started coughing up blood. Shit, I thought, its 3 am and I appear to be dying. So we got to the hospital and the consultant took a look and got one of those vacuum things to clear up the back of my throat. This sets off my gag reflex and I promptly throw up approximately 3 and a half pints of congealed blood inot a bog silver bowl, and all over the lovely white shirt of the consultant. I had to have a blood transfusion and everything. Total fucking nightmare. every time I have gone into hospital, something major has gone wrong. fucking NHS.....

Oh, and usual dick size joke. It may not be long, but I can't cross my legs.....!
(Tue 26th Jun 2007, 13:17, More)