b3ta.com user oxfam-glamour-model
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» Going Too Far

Poor Poor Girl
This tale comes from house party in lovely Stockton-On-Tees! I wasnt actually there but this is what was told to me and i have actually saw the girl in question to confer its truth. Story goes that young lady in stockton is having a house party probably for small number of close friends by midnight the houseowner is unconcious due to to much shandy and large amount of boys who dont like her 2 much decend onto her house after staying for few hours boys become bored and as they dont like the houseowner particually they decide to play dares starts of fairly playfully dare you to eat all her food haha much laughs until dares get more an more well daring, long story shorter girl wakes up in slightly dazed hungover state stumbles upstairs to find a large mound of male faeces in the middle of her perfectly made pink bedhsheet ok she thinks i can just throw the bed sheets out stumbles into bathroom to have a look at how hungover shes looking only to find out shes now sporting a rather large bald spot on the top of her head where very long blonde hair use to be....

Poor girl had to wear a wig for over a year...

There was length but it has been ended by some hair clippers
(Wed 15th Nov 2006, 18:25, More)

» Never Meet Your Heroes

I'd love it!. . . . .
Met Kev Keegan and newcastle sqaud at Newcastle Airport just after the famous season where Newcastle blew big points lead at top of table kev keegan did rant blah blah! anyway were at passport control behind Keegan and guy next to desk asks Keegan if im his son? (dont no why im stood with me mam and dad!) Keegan replies with that shirt on no!(im wearing man utd top)i was young at the time and was short of a come back good job dad always handy with a bit of quick wit duely obliged, hes reply " i'd love it if he was your son, love it!" guy at passport control was amused, Keegan wasnt!
(Tue 30th May 2006, 20:49, More)

» Debt pron

Lovely Nigerian Man
Just received a lovely email from a chap in Nigeria saying how nasty UK government preventing him from getting money into the UK so he has offered me a great deal where if i let him use my bank account he will give me lots of money's! Bank account is duly posted in reply to this lovely chappy!

EDIT:- hes taking a while with repaying me for my giving him my bank details
EDIT:- couldnt take out a tenner today saying insufficient funds sure i had about 20,000 grand in my bank
EDIT:- fuck socks! ive been robbed
(Thu 30th Nov 2006, 13:51, More)

» Missing body parts

Lack of balls!
In my friends street theres 2 guys with as total of one testicle between them , one apparently managed to hack at his scrotum (while very young) using some sharp object and damage his testciles to extent where neither of his nadgers were savable! the other being an inquizzative young chap was having a "twiddle" as my friends mam put it and managed to get them tangled causing one to "pop" the road they live on has been renamed many a time Noble Street been my fave!
(Sun 4th Jun 2006, 21:21, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

RING FOR BUM SEX
my mate at uni went for a richard the third in our union toilets the other day to see the age old prank of ring this number for gay fun/bum sex etc.. only to notice it was his name mentioned at the bottom of it and his number he game back to the bar and tolod all the lads he got piss taken out of him for rest of session. However i wasnt done i did the right honourable thing later on ringing him on withheld that night and enquired about his services in a rather impressive old man voice
(Mon 7th May 2007, 14:52, More)
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