Profile for Son of Sam-i-am:
I am Sam
I am Sam
Sam I am
That Sam-I-am!
Than Sam-I-am!
I do not like
that Sam-I-am!
Do you like
green eggs and ham?
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.
Would you like them
here or there?
I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
Would you like them
in a house?
Would you like them
with a mouse?
I do not like them
in a house.
I do not like them
with a mouse.
I do not like them
here or there.
I do not like them
anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Would you eat them
in a box?
Would you eat them
with a fox?
Not in a box.
Not with a fox.
Not in a house.
Not with a mouse.
I would not eat them here or there.
I would not eat them anywhere.
I would not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Would you? Could you?
In a car?
Eat them! Eat them!
Here they are.
I would not,
could not,
in a car.
You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them
in a tree!
I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! You let me be.
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I do not like them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you,
on a train?
Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Sam! Let me be!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not eat them with a mouse.
I will not eat them in a house.
I will not eat them here or there.
I will not eat them anywhere.
I do not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?
I would not, could not,
in the dark.
Would you, could you, in the rain?
I would not, could not,
in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train.
Not in a car. Not in a tree.
I do not like them, Sam, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.
I will not eat them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!
You do not like
green eggs and ham?
I do not
like them,
Sam-I-am.
Could you, would you,
with a goat?
I would not,
could not,
with a goat!
Would you, could you,
on a boat?
I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not eat them in the rain.
I will not eat them on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I will not eat them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE!
I do not like
green eggs
and ham!
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
You do not like them.
So you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.
Sam!
If you will let me be,
I will try them.
You will see.
Say!
I like green eggs and ham!
I do! I like them, Sam-I-am!
And I would eat them in a boat.
And I would eat them with a goat...
And I will eat them in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
They are so good, so good, you see!
So I will eat them in a box.
And I will eat them with a fox.
And I will eat them in a house.
And I will eat them with a mouse.
And I will eat them here and there.
Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!
I do so like
green eggs and ham!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Sam-I-am!
Well, if you've bothered to read this far you probably deserve some profile info.
Sam (of the male persuasion)
20 something misanthrope
Currently working in a dead end IT job that requires approx 0.01% of my brain power & time so spending increasing amounts of time on here.
Can't think of anything else to say, or anything funny, gaz me if you want to know something or you know me in real life and think you've figured out who I am.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 17 years, 7 months and 18 days
- has posted 2 messages on the main board
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
- has posted 0 messages on the links board
- has posted 42 stories and 2042 replies on question of the week
- They liked 4 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 150 qotw answers. [RSS feed]
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I am Sam
I am Sam
Sam I am
That Sam-I-am!
Than Sam-I-am!
I do not like
that Sam-I-am!
Do you like
green eggs and ham?
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.
Would you like them
here or there?
I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
Would you like them
in a house?
Would you like them
with a mouse?
I do not like them
in a house.
I do not like them
with a mouse.
I do not like them
here or there.
I do not like them
anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Would you eat them
in a box?
Would you eat them
with a fox?
Not in a box.
Not with a fox.
Not in a house.
Not with a mouse.
I would not eat them here or there.
I would not eat them anywhere.
I would not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Would you? Could you?
In a car?
Eat them! Eat them!
Here they are.
I would not,
could not,
in a car.
You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them
in a tree!
I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! You let me be.
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I do not like them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you,
on a train?
Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Sam! Let me be!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not eat them with a mouse.
I will not eat them in a house.
I will not eat them here or there.
I will not eat them anywhere.
I do not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?
I would not, could not,
in the dark.
Would you, could you, in the rain?
I would not, could not,
in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train.
Not in a car. Not in a tree.
I do not like them, Sam, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.
I will not eat them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!
You do not like
green eggs and ham?
I do not
like them,
Sam-I-am.
Could you, would you,
with a goat?
I would not,
could not,
with a goat!
Would you, could you,
on a boat?
I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not eat them in the rain.
I will not eat them on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I will not eat them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE!
I do not like
green eggs
and ham!
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
You do not like them.
So you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.
Sam!
If you will let me be,
I will try them.
You will see.
Say!
I like green eggs and ham!
I do! I like them, Sam-I-am!
And I would eat them in a boat.
And I would eat them with a goat...
And I will eat them in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
They are so good, so good, you see!
So I will eat them in a box.
And I will eat them with a fox.
And I will eat them in a house.
And I will eat them with a mouse.
And I will eat them here and there.
Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!
I do so like
green eggs and ham!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Sam-I-am!
Well, if you've bothered to read this far you probably deserve some profile info.
Sam (of the male persuasion)
20 something misanthrope
Currently working in a dead end IT job that requires approx 0.01% of my brain power & time so spending increasing amounts of time on here.
Can't think of anything else to say, or anything funny, gaz me if you want to know something or you know me in real life and think you've figured out who I am.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Barred
Free CD bonanza
A bit of a geeky one this… I'm still (6 years on) barred from buying anything from Amazon.co.uk, when I enter my address it mysteriously says it's not valid.
It's been doing this ever since I managed to order many many hundreds of pounds, possibly more, worth of CDs from them for nothing over a short space of time. Remember that email service that had all sorts of humorous domain names for you to choose from? Funmail.com if memory serves me correctly, this is going back a few years so my memory's a bit hazy.
They had a sign up offer which gave you a free £5 voucher for use on Amazon, it generated a string of letters that you then typed into Amazon and £5 was added to your account. Stupidly they forgot to put any sort of 'one per address' restriction on, so anything costing less than a fiver was free. Lots of CD singles turning up at the house.
The next stage came with the realisation that when you bought something for less than a fiver the balance was credited to your Amazon account. This was during the Sophie Ellis Bextor & Groovejet / Victoria Beckham & Dane Bowers chart battle, so they were selling those CDs for £1.99
We wrote a script that signed up multiple accounts to Funmail and harvested the voucher codes, it was then a simple matter of plugging those into Amazon and ordering 1.99 CDs until enough money was in the account to buy an album (I still have several hundred Groovejet CDs somewhere, if anyone's interested?)
Lather, rinse, repeat, and for a period of several weeks there was a big box from Amazon waiting on the doormat every morning. I told my mum it was 'a special offer', only bending the truth slightly. Didn't take all that long for them to clock on, change the terms of the offer and ban me, but by that point I had more or less legitimately got myself a rather fine CD collection.
I like to think that this contributed to the fact that shortly afterwards Funmail started charging for their service, but I can't be sure!
The weirdest thing is Amazon have never officially told me I'm barred, it just won't let me order anything...
(Tue 5th Sep 2006, 15:48, More)
Free CD bonanza
A bit of a geeky one this… I'm still (6 years on) barred from buying anything from Amazon.co.uk, when I enter my address it mysteriously says it's not valid.
It's been doing this ever since I managed to order many many hundreds of pounds, possibly more, worth of CDs from them for nothing over a short space of time. Remember that email service that had all sorts of humorous domain names for you to choose from? Funmail.com if memory serves me correctly, this is going back a few years so my memory's a bit hazy.
They had a sign up offer which gave you a free £5 voucher for use on Amazon, it generated a string of letters that you then typed into Amazon and £5 was added to your account. Stupidly they forgot to put any sort of 'one per address' restriction on, so anything costing less than a fiver was free. Lots of CD singles turning up at the house.
The next stage came with the realisation that when you bought something for less than a fiver the balance was credited to your Amazon account. This was during the Sophie Ellis Bextor & Groovejet / Victoria Beckham & Dane Bowers chart battle, so they were selling those CDs for £1.99
We wrote a script that signed up multiple accounts to Funmail and harvested the voucher codes, it was then a simple matter of plugging those into Amazon and ordering 1.99 CDs until enough money was in the account to buy an album (I still have several hundred Groovejet CDs somewhere, if anyone's interested?)
Lather, rinse, repeat, and for a period of several weeks there was a big box from Amazon waiting on the doormat every morning. I told my mum it was 'a special offer', only bending the truth slightly. Didn't take all that long for them to clock on, change the terms of the offer and ban me, but by that point I had more or less legitimately got myself a rather fine CD collection.
I like to think that this contributed to the fact that shortly afterwards Funmail started charging for their service, but I can't be sure!
The weirdest thing is Amazon have never officially told me I'm barred, it just won't let me order anything...
(Tue 5th Sep 2006, 15:48, More)
» I'm going to Hell...
RE
Despite it allegedly being compulsory until GCSE (school rule rather than national curriculum I think) I only did RE until halfway through my second year of high school.
My attempts to explain to the rest of the class why I thought religion was a tool of subjugation and prejudice, through the medium of dressing up as Hitler, shouting 'Sieg Heil!' continuously throughout the lesson and drawing swastikas on every available surface, didn't go down especially well with our teacher.
How was I to know she was the child of Auschwitz survivors?
A month off school to sit at home and consider my actions for that. Never had to do RE again though.
(Thu 11th Dec 2008, 14:13, More)
RE
Despite it allegedly being compulsory until GCSE (school rule rather than national curriculum I think) I only did RE until halfway through my second year of high school.
My attempts to explain to the rest of the class why I thought religion was a tool of subjugation and prejudice, through the medium of dressing up as Hitler, shouting 'Sieg Heil!' continuously throughout the lesson and drawing swastikas on every available surface, didn't go down especially well with our teacher.
How was I to know she was the child of Auschwitz survivors?
A month off school to sit at home and consider my actions for that. Never had to do RE again though.
(Thu 11th Dec 2008, 14:13, More)
» Tightwads
I wouldn't say I'm that much of a tightwad
But reading ThornbankJim's post below reminded me.
Clothes. The biggest waste of money ever. If it wasn't so cold and I didn't need pockets to put things in I'd happily spend my life naked. I know people who spend ludicrous amounts of money on clothes. The only time I've spent over £100 on a single item of clothing, it's been made of Gore Tex. I think I've got one shirt somewhere but it'd probably take me a few hours to find it. I reckon I've probably spent less than £200 on clothes in the last 3 years (honestly) by following these rules:
T shirts - free from pubs, or people I know who work in pubs. Or gigs or jobs I've worked on, or bands I've worked for. I have shitloads of t shirts and I've barely paid for any of them. Also applies to jumpers/hoodies.
Socks/pants - guaranteed annual Christmas present from the old dear.
Jeans - you don't need any other type of trousers. Buy reasonably expensive (£50-60) ones and they will last for years and years. Probably because I wear shorts 99% of the time, and they're cheaper anyway.
Shoes - again it's worth spending moderately large amounts of money here. I buy a pair of DCs every 18 months which is quite a decent length of time for them to last when worn every day.
Hand me downs/theft from mates - I'm sure we all know people who'll stop wearing something after they've worn it five times. Make friends with them. I have clothes that were originally quite expensive, not that I'd pay for them.
I call it my contribution to saving the environment, but honestly? I just don't really care much about clothes past their practical aspects (shoes stop you hurting your feet, jumpers keep you warm, trousers have pockets to put your phone and fags in)
Scruffy cunt? You bet. Do I care? No.
(Mon 27th Oct 2008, 22:59, More)
I wouldn't say I'm that much of a tightwad
But reading ThornbankJim's post below reminded me.
Clothes. The biggest waste of money ever. If it wasn't so cold and I didn't need pockets to put things in I'd happily spend my life naked. I know people who spend ludicrous amounts of money on clothes. The only time I've spent over £100 on a single item of clothing, it's been made of Gore Tex. I think I've got one shirt somewhere but it'd probably take me a few hours to find it. I reckon I've probably spent less than £200 on clothes in the last 3 years (honestly) by following these rules:
T shirts - free from pubs, or people I know who work in pubs. Or gigs or jobs I've worked on, or bands I've worked for. I have shitloads of t shirts and I've barely paid for any of them. Also applies to jumpers/hoodies.
Socks/pants - guaranteed annual Christmas present from the old dear.
Jeans - you don't need any other type of trousers. Buy reasonably expensive (£50-60) ones and they will last for years and years. Probably because I wear shorts 99% of the time, and they're cheaper anyway.
Shoes - again it's worth spending moderately large amounts of money here. I buy a pair of DCs every 18 months which is quite a decent length of time for them to last when worn every day.
Hand me downs/theft from mates - I'm sure we all know people who'll stop wearing something after they've worn it five times. Make friends with them. I have clothes that were originally quite expensive, not that I'd pay for them.
I call it my contribution to saving the environment, but honestly? I just don't really care much about clothes past their practical aspects (shoes stop you hurting your feet, jumpers keep you warm, trousers have pockets to put your phone and fags in)
Scruffy cunt? You bet. Do I care? No.
(Mon 27th Oct 2008, 22:59, More)
» Pointless Experiments
This question was made for me
Although I like to think there was some point to all my experiments. I have always taken the scientific approach. Here are a few of the more memorable ones
5 years of age or so: how far can you lean out of the top bunk of the bunk beds without falling out? Concussion, and big carpet burn up my forehead. And my mum came up to see what all the noise was
6-7 years old: Does Father Christmas exist? I devised a clever experiment involving putting what I 'wanted' in a letter up the chimney (control group) and telling my parents that I'd put something else, what present did I get? Don't know why I'm including this as it wasn't pointless, I thought I was pretty clever at the time. Although not so much when I got a smacking for revealing the results to my two younger sisters.
8ish: Can you make a hang glider out of a partially inflated air mattress and some string, and sail gracefully across the room from aforementioned top bunk? Nope, but you can smash two of your (fortunately milk) teeth out on the chest of drawers.
11 or so: stole a relay board from school to connect to a BBC Micro, you wrote lines of code and could turn (12V DC) things on and off, pretty cool. But can you use it to be able to turn your bedroom lights on and off at preset times? Once again a resounding no, blew all the house electrics and set fire to the board, my carpet and nearly the whole house.
First year of high school: how hot is a Bunsen burner? Hotter than a standard mercury thermometer can measure, but the glass end of the thermometer pinging across the room is qute satisfying. As is getting the afternoon off school when they had to evacuate the science block to safely clean up the mercury.
Quite soon after: what happens if you pour ethanol over all the chemistry lab workbenches and set it alight? A massive bollocking, 3 months 'on report' and a several hundred pound bill for new textbooks, which took a while to pay off doing a paper round.
14ish: Riding a BMX (tied to a tree with string so it could be recovered) off approx 20' rock cliff into a river to pull some mad stunts. Attempt 1: nearly castrated myself due to string being too short. Attempt 2: nearly castrated myself again due to landing on bike in quite shallow part of river
I'll add more later when I think of them
(Fri 25th Jul 2008, 19:00, More)
This question was made for me
Although I like to think there was some point to all my experiments. I have always taken the scientific approach. Here are a few of the more memorable ones
5 years of age or so: how far can you lean out of the top bunk of the bunk beds without falling out? Concussion, and big carpet burn up my forehead. And my mum came up to see what all the noise was
6-7 years old: Does Father Christmas exist? I devised a clever experiment involving putting what I 'wanted' in a letter up the chimney (control group) and telling my parents that I'd put something else, what present did I get? Don't know why I'm including this as it wasn't pointless, I thought I was pretty clever at the time. Although not so much when I got a smacking for revealing the results to my two younger sisters.
8ish: Can you make a hang glider out of a partially inflated air mattress and some string, and sail gracefully across the room from aforementioned top bunk? Nope, but you can smash two of your (fortunately milk) teeth out on the chest of drawers.
11 or so: stole a relay board from school to connect to a BBC Micro, you wrote lines of code and could turn (12V DC) things on and off, pretty cool. But can you use it to be able to turn your bedroom lights on and off at preset times? Once again a resounding no, blew all the house electrics and set fire to the board, my carpet and nearly the whole house.
First year of high school: how hot is a Bunsen burner? Hotter than a standard mercury thermometer can measure, but the glass end of the thermometer pinging across the room is qute satisfying. As is getting the afternoon off school when they had to evacuate the science block to safely clean up the mercury.
Quite soon after: what happens if you pour ethanol over all the chemistry lab workbenches and set it alight? A massive bollocking, 3 months 'on report' and a several hundred pound bill for new textbooks, which took a while to pay off doing a paper round.
14ish: Riding a BMX (tied to a tree with string so it could be recovered) off approx 20' rock cliff into a river to pull some mad stunts. Attempt 1: nearly castrated myself due to string being too short. Attempt 2: nearly castrated myself again due to landing on bike in quite shallow part of river
I'll add more later when I think of them
(Fri 25th Jul 2008, 19:00, More)
» Barred
Christmas - good cheer and (too much) drinking
I've just remember another couple. Both related to Little Chef again, there must have been something in the water at that place I reckon.
Two successive staff Christmas parties resulted in the entire staff of the restaurant being banned from the pubs they were held in.
The first was fairly tame, only one person was sick over the bar and the Christmas decorations we stole at the end (all of them) weren't exactly expensive. Fair exchange for the fact we spent a sum of money roughly equal to the third world debt at the bar, I reckon.
The next year a different pub, they'd been forewarned of our kleptomaniac tendencies so had cleared the bar of anything shiny beforehand. In true festive fashion we'd gone for a 'few' warm up pints prior, resulting in me hardly being able to see, let alone stand up in a straight line, by the time we pitched up for the meal.
All went well, good food and good Christmas cheer, until my then girlfriend went to the toilet and reappeared with the manager, who was holding a toilet seat in his hand. Somehow she was so pissed she'd managed to break it off the toilet, making so much noise in the process that he'd heard and gone in to investigate.
Cue her being chucked out and banned, obviously I couldn't leave her on the street (was mighty tempting though, I hadn't finished my meal yet) so stood up to walk out with her and was rewarded with a ban of my own, despite having been sat down enjoying my food. Cue me chucking the rest of my meal at the wall in protest, kicking off a huge food fight as I walked out with this huge fat woman screaming abuse at me. I had to go in the next day and pay for the damage.
As with the previous post I've learnt my lesson and now just try to fall asleep in corners when I get too pissed instead of making a scene (not that I'm claiming I can manage this 100% of the time). It's not worth it, kids.
[length joke]
(Tue 5th Sep 2006, 10:13, More)
Christmas - good cheer and (too much) drinking
I've just remember another couple. Both related to Little Chef again, there must have been something in the water at that place I reckon.
Two successive staff Christmas parties resulted in the entire staff of the restaurant being banned from the pubs they were held in.
The first was fairly tame, only one person was sick over the bar and the Christmas decorations we stole at the end (all of them) weren't exactly expensive. Fair exchange for the fact we spent a sum of money roughly equal to the third world debt at the bar, I reckon.
The next year a different pub, they'd been forewarned of our kleptomaniac tendencies so had cleared the bar of anything shiny beforehand. In true festive fashion we'd gone for a 'few' warm up pints prior, resulting in me hardly being able to see, let alone stand up in a straight line, by the time we pitched up for the meal.
All went well, good food and good Christmas cheer, until my then girlfriend went to the toilet and reappeared with the manager, who was holding a toilet seat in his hand. Somehow she was so pissed she'd managed to break it off the toilet, making so much noise in the process that he'd heard and gone in to investigate.
Cue her being chucked out and banned, obviously I couldn't leave her on the street (was mighty tempting though, I hadn't finished my meal yet) so stood up to walk out with her and was rewarded with a ban of my own, despite having been sat down enjoying my food. Cue me chucking the rest of my meal at the wall in protest, kicking off a huge food fight as I walked out with this huge fat woman screaming abuse at me. I had to go in the next day and pay for the damage.
As with the previous post I've learnt my lesson and now just try to fall asleep in corners when I get too pissed instead of making a scene (not that I'm claiming I can manage this 100% of the time). It's not worth it, kids.
[length joke]
(Tue 5th Sep 2006, 10:13, More)