» Road Rage

Micra Vs. Twatmobile
So, I was driving a fairly respectable 65 down a 50 duel carriageway (In my Nissan Micra Collette!) when this prig in a Lotus Penis Extension zoomed past at about 90 and cut right in front of me. Stopping at lights further ahead I emphatically mouthed 'wanker' at him. He must have seen me because he got out his Lotus Mid Life Crisis and stormed towards my car, saying (in a very David Brent-ish style) 'You calling me a wanker? You're the wanker!' He tried to open the door but I have a habit of locking car doors as soon as I sit in one, so he couldn't get in. Anyway, he banged on the window, yelling obscenities, (my 12 year old sister was in the car and crying) and stormed back to his Lotus It Really Is This Big, where he shot off as soon as the lights went green again, going 0-60 in what seemed like 2 seconds. Anyway, I was pretty shaken up until I saw some flashing blue lights pulling out of a nearby off-road ahead, quickly gaining on the speeding Twat. Never saw the Lotus Tiny Cock Replacement or the police car again, but I can only presume they met and it would have been glorious. His girlfriend was half his age and woefully ugly too. I like to think I somehow 'won'.
(Sun 15th Oct 2006, 2:20, More)