b3ta.com user insomniboy
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» Siblings

I am a twin
And when I divulge that I have a twin sister, the first question of my adoring audience is is "Are you identical?" to which I have taken to responding "Yes, we even have the same hair."
Only I'm a 6'2" guy and my sister clearly isn't.
But then the questions continue!
"Can you feel when she's hurt?"
To which the answer is unfortunately no, but I am yet to come up with a suitable response.
(I have encountered other non-identical twins, and it appears these questions are par for the course. So if you ever meet a twin, please don't ask them if they're identical, or possess any magical twinchronicity powers.)
But now the heart-warming anecdote!
I have always been the bigger of the two, ever since birth when I was lovely and large and she was dangerously small, and with bigger comes louder, etc. This, compounded by my sister's shyness meant that when we headed off to school we formed a bizarre double act. Class began with a register every morning, but my sister was terrified of this and would never answer her name, so every day for the first 3 years of school, I answered for both myself and herself.
Awwww.
(Wed 31st Dec 2008, 22:18, More)

» Insults

erm...
two possibly all-new insults popped into my head the other day, in a now near-daily cycle commute brush with death.

cuntpuncture.
quimleak.

i find them oddly satisfying and now utter them quite regularly...
(Wed 10th Oct 2007, 0:39, More)