b3ta.com user archstanton
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» Ripped Off

Blag of a lifetime
TRUE STORY: Outside Bristol Zoo there is a carpark where cars and coaches can park. There was also a nice bloke with a hat and ticket machine charging cars £1 and coaches £5.This parking attendent worked there for about 25 years , then one day didn't turn up for work...Ho hum say Bristol Zoo management- Better phone up Bristol City Council and get them to send a new parking attendant......
Er no say the Council...That car park is your responsibility...Er no say Bristol Zoo the attendant was employed by you wasn't he....Er NO!!!!
Sitting in his villa in Spain is bloke who had been taking the car park takings for Bristol Zoo for the last 25 years...

RESULT!!!
(Mon 19th Feb 2007, 15:01, More)

» What's the most horrific thing you've seen?

My Dad was a health and safety inspector....
so has seen some pretty gruesome things(usually involving small children drowning in slurry pits or diced by farm machinery) but even he felt queasy after being called out to a small factory one Jan 2nd....What transpired was that the owner of said factory had decided to catch up on some work before the new years holiday after a couple of pints (they were never sure) and had been working on a 1200 horsepower lathe when his baggy overalls got caught- dragging him into the spinning machine at about 1000rpm-


for 3 days


By the time my dad and his team turned up all that was left of him was a yard wide streak of dark red over the floor, walls and ceiling of the workshop, and some shredded remains of overall twisted around the lathe!!

Errr...
(Fri 22nd Jun 2007, 18:15, More)

» Housemates from hell

More a tent mate from hell
When aged 15 went camping with some mates for the weekend...My mates mate had a fit but verrrrry posh and irritating girlfreind who would boss us about and generally annoy us with her upper class accent and condescending manner...We got her back by wanking in her socks one night....So in the morning BITCH says"Err my socks are all wet" after putting them on...Revenge is best!!!

She also neveer found out....We told her it must have been dew!!!
(Tue 10th Apr 2007, 15:59, More)

» Stalked

Only real stalker..
was when I was 8...We went to the Weald and Down museum for a school trip...Little Jenny took a liking to me and followed me all day...



It was great, I let her carry my coat....
(Wed 6th Feb 2008, 16:53, More)

» Terrible Parenting

On holiday in Portugal...
my parents had the opportunity for free babysitting but instead went and got pissed on the other side of the complex. Lo and behold I was kidnapped, raped and murdered horribly by some local paedo....

xx
Maddy....
(Thu 16th Aug 2007, 22:58, More)
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